Hi
I'm new here but have been looking around for the last few days. Finally built up the courage to post and would appreciate any advice on what I should do.
I'm a pre-op trans guy (so assigned female at birth but identify as male) and I've finally got an appointment for my chest surgery consultation. I'm so happy that it's finally happening but I'm also terrified about the appointment. I know I'll have to be topless in a room with two strangers while they examine and measure me. After that I've to go to another part of the hospital and have photos taken of my naked chest. I only got the appointment last week but the thought of it had always worried me. It's been made much worse by something that happened last year.
In November I was flying home from a work trip and my body set the full body scanners off. I now know that this was because the binder (like a very tight top) I wear to help conceal my large chest made it look like I was hiding something under my top.
After patting me down several times over my chest I was taken to a private room and asked to remove my shirt and loosen my trousers. I was then patted down again, with the front of his hand over my chest and groin. I can't remember much else after that until the security officer asked me why I was shaking while I buttoned my shirt up.
It's only over the last couple of weeks that I've started to admit the affect this has had on me. I've always hated my chest but this has made my feelings much stronger. I've been having flashbacks and waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it. I've not felt comfortable to let a partner touch me there as the feeling of his hands pressing on my chest reminded me of the airport. Being touched there was never my favourite thing but I struggle to wash myself in the shower now.
There's no question of me not going to my appointment but I do t know how I'm going to be able to tolerate it. Friends have suggested that I see my doctor but I'm not sure what they could do. Even without knowing this was going for to happen I was starting to realise that it was something to address but I don't know what to do. Is there a point in going to a doctor?
I'm new here but have been looking around for the last few days. Finally built up the courage to post and would appreciate any advice on what I should do.
I'm a pre-op trans guy (so assigned female at birth but identify as male) and I've finally got an appointment for my chest surgery consultation. I'm so happy that it's finally happening but I'm also terrified about the appointment. I know I'll have to be topless in a room with two strangers while they examine and measure me. After that I've to go to another part of the hospital and have photos taken of my naked chest. I only got the appointment last week but the thought of it had always worried me. It's been made much worse by something that happened last year.
In November I was flying home from a work trip and my body set the full body scanners off. I now know that this was because the binder (like a very tight top) I wear to help conceal my large chest made it look like I was hiding something under my top.
After patting me down several times over my chest I was taken to a private room and asked to remove my shirt and loosen my trousers. I was then patted down again, with the front of his hand over my chest and groin. I can't remember much else after that until the security officer asked me why I was shaking while I buttoned my shirt up.
It's only over the last couple of weeks that I've started to admit the affect this has had on me. I've always hated my chest but this has made my feelings much stronger. I've been having flashbacks and waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it. I've not felt comfortable to let a partner touch me there as the feeling of his hands pressing on my chest reminded me of the airport. Being touched there was never my favourite thing but I struggle to wash myself in the shower now.
There's no question of me not going to my appointment but I do t know how I'm going to be able to tolerate it. Friends have suggested that I see my doctor but I'm not sure what they could do. Even without knowing this was going for to happen I was starting to realise that it was something to address but I don't know what to do. Is there a point in going to a doctor?
