View On Overly Positive Individuals

[The Albatross]

Well sign me up for that group... no purpose, no meaning, no greater good to my abuse. It's my starting point and unique and foundational to me and who I am... it sucks but it's not depressing for me. It's just honest.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

for a long while my sufferer had the "everything happens for a reason" mindset, which to me was always baffling considering the shit she had to go through. Even in situations of trauma she told herself things happened for a reason.

I think some of that is denial and maybe excusing it? At least in my experience.

My acceptace of the PTSD diagnosis was a huge reality check or something that put an official end to my denial.

Yes, I would say they are lucky.

Agreed! Not sure most untraumatized people know how lucky they are in my opinion.

 

[The Albatross]

Obviously too tired... can ANYBODY here define "overly positive"... considering the topics here I think that's a bit of a hoot. Alternative views, are alternative views... straight up. We can agree, or not, and are surely not obligated to sign up for the "pep squad". Generalizations though are usually not advantageous and it is better to take a harder look at situational underlying causes/issues before generalizing and endeavoring to paint "life" with a broad brush. :bag: Just sayin'.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

can ANYBODY here define "overly positive"

There is nothing wrong with being positive about life, work and the world around you. However, refusing to deal with the negative things going wrong around you because they are not positive will not make them go away. This is exactly what many of the overly positive people of the world are doing.

*Clears throat* my dad.

What Being Too Positive Will Get You | Scot Duke

Obviously too tired.

Obviously

 

[The Albatross]

I'd suggest you step off chapping my ass. Unless you'd like to take to a PC what you think I've done to deserve your remarks to me.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But when we look back, we can see how one thing leads to another, and so on. I think the concept of 'nothing happens in a vacuum' is more useful.

I'd never in a million years put my experiences as somehow being above someone else's, just because I've been through trauma. And while I can't stand people who spout the platitudes, I have a lot of admiration for people who can see the balance of something, both the good and the bad. I discount the good. I'd rather see both.

 

[Sideways]

I think some of that is denial and maybe excusing it?

Definitely. But there's plenty of other reasons: hope being one.

I've also met people who have been through some nasty stuff and still hang on to the idea that 'everything happens for a reason'. Sometimes it can be inspiring (if not a little irritating) to watch someone come through adversity and say "I'm gonna make something good of this". Many a charity and positive social change has been created from thise moments.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'd rather see both.

I have a question though. Were you ever in a place where you could only see negitive? And if so, how did you obtain a balance?

I ask as I reconize I am super negitive. Many call me a kill joy. I think one can be wayyy over the top positive. But how does one balance it?

hope being one.

Hope is something I do have and I think the only reason I am still breathing. Hoping it gets better one day. Or trying to believe there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I have no idea if that makes sense or even if i am still on topic...

 

[The Albatross]

Interesting that retrospect/validation in seeing in hindsight sequential steps when we look back is somehow different than "everything happens for a reason". It's the focus of the perception nothing more that is different really. Past focus/comfortable... present/future... eh not so much.

It is the same fish, just a different way of seeing the filet.

 

[joeylittle]

Were you ever in a place where you could only see negitive? And if so, how did you obtain a balance?

Oh yes. I live there. I do not have a balanced perception without constant - and I mean constant - working at it. I strive for neutral.

I don't know if that process ever ends, for me. I don't expect it to; and that's ok.

 

[Muttly]

I'm really tired, so hopefully I will make some sense. I don't believe "everything happens for a reason" and find that stance aggravating. Having said that, I am someone who believes you can make or find *some* good in damn near everything. I don't think the two are flip sides of the coin. Everything happening for a reason strikes me as "Divine Plan" type talk. I don't believe that. I believe in free will. But then, since I have free will, I can find some good thing to take out of the bad. I think some of that is a chosen attitude of mine. It gives me the strength and will to keep plugging. One important thing is, finding something good in the bad doesn't mean the bad is negated. It doesn't mean the bad was worth it. I think I'm a more compassionate person to people, because of the abuse I've experienced. I'm not going to say I'm glad I experienced the abuse. I am glad I was able to gain compassion for marginalized and struggling people. Very glad.

I tend to be a positive person. Heh, you might not tell that from some of my posts here, but in general I am. I think some of that is just brain chemistry that I was gifted with. I am grateful for that. I'm positive, but i don't really consider myself an optomist, I've seen too much of life. I know just how badly things can go and how truly horrible people can be. And being positive doesn't have to be some Pollyanna, everything is ok, kind of thing. It can be "I'm tired and grumpy, but wow is that sunset amazing.". Decades ago, I started practicing saying three things that made me happy, each day. And they could be tiny things, like the smell of coffee. I also would come up with 2 things I was looking forward to. Again, they could be small things like seeing the stars. That's how I try to maintain the balance. And sometimes I can't and I spin out, and one of the really negative identities comes out and we are a wreck.

One statement that really bothers me is, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I don't believe that. I get the point that's trying to be made, I guess, but I've spent to much of my life with mental illness. too much of my life around others with mental illness or disability. There are things in life that hurt us in ways that won't make us stronger. I feel like that's generally said by people who won't want to deal with the reality that there are things that can break us, and even if we get put back together, we aren't as whole and strong as were. I think it's a statement that can easily become a way to blame the victim

 

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. What didn't kill me sho' as hell did make me stronger. Compared to most I'm a friggin tidal wave.