I Laugh When I Shouldn't

[asadafagahajakal]

I dont know why, but my go-to way of masking or coping with my negative emotions is laughing. I guess my mind doesn't want me to open up about how I really feel. Maybe because people fed off of my fear and pain growing up.

Seriously, watching alien, I laugh at the scary parts. I'm venting to someone, I laugh with a convincing smile. Once the laugh wears off, I avoid eye contact, strategically blink/stare to stop tears (I'm a f*ckin master at that lmao), do anything to avoid showing my emotions. Heck, I won't even let my wife know, unless it's just a hard time for us both and she knows I'm facing a serious low.

I know suppressing emotion is typical for a lot of us, but what about the convincing laughs? Am I the only one?

 

[ladee]

Nope you arent the only one.
I am very good at this one myself..guess it's the old adage of laughing to keep from crying.
I will make jokes to get anyone to not focus on how vulnerable I am feeling.
I am a woman and tears do not come easy for me.
And when I do cry..I want to be alone.
The shower is a great place to have a good cry.
So..you are not alone.
We are just getting thru our pain in our own way . Its not right or wrong..you will feel what you need to feel.
Thank goodness there are no rules to this or you and I would be the First two sent out of the room.
As long as we get the work done..doesn't matter how.
You are very aware and that is going to help you.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

I'm a male so I'm not allowed to cry X,D. But yeah if I get emotional people right away call me moody. Or some dumbfk said I was on the rag because I was having a shitty day. Makes you grow a tough skin pretty quick. This world must really be heartless if you're not even allowed to cry around people.

 

[Naoru]

Wait a minute, are you trying to say Alien was not a comedy? :laugh: You are not alone, nakama :whistling:

Many of my t appointments feel more like comedy sessions, in fact. Rarely do I leave without a smile.

T insists it is a somewhat healthy coping mechanism and other emotions will come through in time, especially as we feel safer to do so. :cautious: Laughing deflects, hides, expresses, copes, so many reasons - good and not-so-good. Sometimes a little inappropriate. :ninja::oops:

So keep laughing until you do not need to anymore. T suggested acceptance of the moment without judgement is helpful if you would like to take pause and process in another way, like allowing tears to fall. As @ladee said, there are no rules and there is no right or wrong. As long as we get the work done.

Vulnerability is tough. Changing our roles in relationships are tough, as well.

As for your last comment, the world can be heartless, but this is your world, too; be the authentic you - laughter, tears, you.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

Wait a minute, are you trying to say Alien was not a comedy? :laugh: You are not alone, nakama :whistling...

It was a comedy. "Oh look at you, a beautiful, beautiful butterfly" XD

 

[Rag doll]

I dont know why, but my go-to way of masking or coping with my negative emotions is laughing. I guess m...

Perhaps you have a " trauma laugh " it most likely some type of defense mechanism . Right before I have flasbacks usually several hours before I stRt laughing....it is obvious to me what is coming....sometimes this is actually a good thing....in my case I know the "twilight zone " is cueing up. The twilight zone,was old old tv show, and the into to the show a voice would say " Do not attempt to adjust your tv, for the next 30 min "we" will have control ". At this point you have been triggered.... no stopping it , the PTSD fairy is coming.... if you do not know what triggers are please do a search. I was inhouse in group , with a group of women who were sexually abused...we had a session where we had to listen to each other "story" it was mandatory and no matter how badly you wanted to go screaming from room, that was not a option. After than a therapist would walk in and check it with each of us....she would take a slow look at all of us and in loud voice ...." is everyone of you dissociated ? Ladies you better wake up and pay attention to me, I need all of you to learn what triggers are, what to do when they happen. ". If you do , you are going to end up being kicked out of your apartments, and lose your job......this has happen to you all and I need you to accept that.... I am trying to teach you how to survive with PTSD there is a skill each of you to get....and start now,right now..,.all the tears in world will not change it...try your best to let go the denial... ( there was about 7 or so of us in the group, if you do not....do you want to quess who many of you will kill yourselves either with addictions or suicide". I was in group with psychologist some of the brightest ,creative woman I have ever been in group with.
I foun this place on Internet I had HMO insurance. Lot of begging just to get admitted. I found a book by Sue Blume called Secret Surviors.....it has a checklist of symptoms and I flunked really bad....I called my alcoholic father on the phone...I will leave out all the cuss words going back and forth... "daddy tell me the truth and do not lie to me now.....dead silence on the phone....he said , I will call you back later ....( very unusual for predator or whatever you want to call to ever admit to you) he called me back sometime later and he was so drunk he could barely talk ...skip over personal stuff...I asked him why. Why did you do this to me? His answer was, because it happened to me,,,.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

No if I'm seriously emotionally down, I laugh to hide it. Or if I'm talking about something that bothers me. Idk if I laugh aND have my dissociative low in the same order you brought up

 

[FireSign8]

The last time I went to a public theater, I think the movie was fatal attraction & I was the only one laughing because it was so much like my life at the time!

 

[Beks]

Nervous laugh, happens at most innappropriate times... also crying laughter too, but not in the happy way, like too much emotion.

 

[physicist13]

I do this too! Honestly I don't even think this is a PTSD thing, just an unfortunate reaction some people have. I pretty much laugh at everything (sad, awk, funny) and I know some people (without PTSD who are the same). I was watching a sad movie with a friend in theaters and we were cracking up the whole time... everyone in the theater was looking at us like we were crazy

 

[Gadgie]

Yes I can remember feeling really embarrassed at a funeral of someone I was close to when I was growing up. For some reason, thoughts of some of the daft and funny things that this bloke did back then, came rushing into my mind, and I burst out laughing?

I just couldn't stop myself doing it, it sort of took me over, and the more I tried to stop, more funny events would come rushing back into my mind.

I was lucky in a way, as a lot of the folk there thought that I was crying, but I managed to cover my face so that they couldn't see that I was indeed laughing?

I know it was wrong, but I simply had no control k really it at all, as he was such a crazy bloke. I still think of him at times.

 

[Friday]

Whenever there's a choice between the two, laugh or cry, I choose laughter. Helluva lot easier to bear. Strength in hard times. And I know that no matter what it is -save 2 things- if I can find what's funny about any situation? I know I'll be okay. Maybe not right now. But I will be.

That said... There's actually a medical diagnosis called 'pseudobulbar affect' or PBA. It's secondary to neurological disorders &/or TBI.

A fairly decent explanation is on Wiki Pseudobulbar affect - Wikipedia

Super weirdly? It's usually managed with cough syrup. Dextromathorphan of all things. Yup. Over the counter Robotussin DM. There's also an Rx version that works somewhat better that is a blend of ^^^ plus a quinine derivative. I can only imagine someone with PBA caught a cold in malaria country, and voila, was healed... As long as they continued their cold medicine & antimalarials. Quirky.