• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

MVA New T And So Confused

Status
Not open for further replies.

James McGregor

Silver Member
Well recently i have been seeing a new therapist. Ive opened up and started talking about some past abuse, and years later a car accident which nearly killed me. The issue is, now years later from the accident, i cant help visiting the site - i feel a huge draw to it. When im there i feel sad but also strangely calm, its very hard to explain. Just wondered if anyone else felt a strong attraction to the site of their trauma? And what it could mean?
 
Possible acceptance this is where your life changed forever?

things really did change around that time, a couple of months prior to it i had a breakdown when i was 16, things had been bad for a long time. The accident in many ways saved me, because i was physically in danger for a long time, every other thought got overtaken with trying to get physically better. Then as time passed, all the old mental stuff came back. Things sure did change, i just cant quite understand why i feel almost fond of the place where it happened, i would understand more if i never wanted to go there again, but to seek it out seems odd
 
Well recently i have been seeing a new therapist. Ive opened up and started talking about some...
Hi there James
I started therapy again earlier this year and a memory of a car accident I was in where I guy Died in my arms after me and a cop keeping him a live for 3/4's of a hour. I have found myself going out of my way now to drive by the site. I found myself parked across the street from were he died, crying one day don't remember going there I was just was there. This accident I think has been bothering me because I do not know the guys name and have not been able to find out yet. The accident was in mid 70's I think 1974-75 I went to look it up in the old news papers and was triggered by another trauma and i had to stop looking though the papers at that time I have not gone back to try again yet. I was the last person that he spoke to and most likely the last one he saw or felt before he past away do to his injuries. So I guess the answer to your question is yes I feel drawn to that site. I think it has something to do with that I am grieving for him. Hope that helps.
Peace be safe
 
Hi there James
I started therapy again earlier this year and a memory of a car accident I was in wher...
thanks for the reply. Yeah i visit the site and just stare at the spot where it happened, i feel a lot of things - but i cant say i feel distressed, sad yes- but its almost like i wish it could happen again - really no idea why
 
, i feel a lot of things -
This makes sense to me. Feelings ranging from terror to anger, to confusion. But the sadness? There's going to be grieving in there as well. Me personally? Dealing with trauma I experienced as an adult gave me a bit of a foothold in terms of learning about my feelings, how they feel in my body, how to manage them, and even how to use them constructively to heal and move forward. So that when it came to dealing with my childhood stuff, which was even more complicated, I'd had practice. Which helped a lot.

Where your life is now? Post crash? Is also going to be your mind's way of relfecting a little on the journey to this point - it gives perspective to our childhood, but also gives us a direction for our grief. "This is where I ended up..."

Sometimes visiting the site of our trauma can be healing, and sometimes we may just need to sit and observe: observe the place, but also the things going on internally that the place brings up. And quiet reflection is totally fine.... Unless it's becoming a problem, or a sticking point.

Some people find that journalling can be a really helpful way of getting the feelings processed if they seem to just be stuck on repeat. But also for RTA victims, sometimes a bit of a grieving 'ceremony' at the site can help bring some closure to the traumatic event. That can be anything from laying flowers, to listening to pre-selected music. Those 'ceremonies' are much like a funeral - psychologically, they help our hrain understand that the event was traumatic, but is over and part of the past, which can help move forward...

Just some thoughts...
 
This makes sense to me. Feelings ranging from terror to anger, to confusion. But the sadness?...


hi thanks,

life now - isnt great, and hasnt been for a long long time. prior to the accident (many years), i was abused by a child a few years older than me (i was 7). My therapist thinks the abuse and the crash have led to problems with "power dynamics", which im hoping to discuss with her in a while. yes ive started to take note of the things which go through my head when i visit. It seems to be honest that basically i want the accident to happen again, which sounds totally bizarre i know - but thats the truth of it. Maybe because the trauma from the accident was a great distraction from the other mental problems at the time, maybe because if the accident had killed me which it nearly did - then at least now id have peace
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom