I am a psychologist with ptsd

[Odosap]

Pete Walker has PTSD.

 

[Uzowa]

These responses are pretty dramatic. Dissociating in session isn't so grave and serious. It has been studied and proven that therapists without trauma histories find themselves dissociating in session IN RESPONSE to a dissociating client. This is valuable tool. This counter transference can clue the therapist to notice that it's actually the client that is dissociating first. The T is trained to be able to help this mutual dissociation and use it as information to help the client.

I also think that if the client isn't dissociating but the therapists begins too, this isn't a grave offense. The T can learn to ground and shake this off without anyone noticing. I dissociate in T and go back to work in a fog every week. I have to be careful because I have a technical career, but I manage well. No significant mistakes. I only notice I can't recall information when in that state.

 

[Okiz]

Dissociating in session isn't so grave and serious

That very much depends on the degree of dissociation, what causes it and how engaged you are with your client. It absolutely is something to take to supervision for discussion so that someone has a handle on what's happening and so that the therapist understands where the source of the dissociation is.

There are scales and degrees of dissociation yes, but if you're working with trauma and risk you really need to have your feet on the floor.

 

[Oteg]

That very much depends on the degree of dissociation, what causes it and how engaged you are with your client. It absolut...

I respectfully disagree. There are times mutual dissociation is inevitable and shouldn't be seen as a bad thing. This is a way for a dissociative person to be known. This is very complex stuff and not commonly discussed but mutual dissociation is a very real part of trauma therapy.

 

[Imug]

What does this mean? I know what it means when just hearing the word "rape" triggers all kinds of reactions in me. I just...

By spaghetti like symptoms I'm referring to the difficult to diagnose or even distinguish what the problem is.

 

[Okiz]

This is very complex stuff and not commonly discussed but mutual dissociation is a very real part of trauma therapy.

The OP is a trainee psychologist who is treating anxiety disorders, not practicing/training in trauma therapy, nor did she say that her client dissociated. What might be ok for an experienced, specialist therapist isn't necessarily ok for a trainee who is both learning and gaining experience - the use of supervision and personal therapy to address triggers is well advised.

 

[Honu]

Don't give up on your dream! You're human you don't have to be perfect. Just be honest with yourself about what is going on, seek help, take care of yourself and deal with your trauma and you'll be ok.Theres probably therapists out genre who are doing much worse. Also, like someone else mentioned instead of feeling shame over this, try to use it your advantage as a way to understand what the patients is going through. You got this! Good luck!

 

[Sita]

Oh for the love of Mike. There are something like 3 professions where people's brains fall out of their heads, when member...

i agree strongly with this statement. As i stated above, my therapist dissociates also in our sessions. I think my disocciations causes my counselor to go into a similar state. My counselor is often fidgety and obviously uncomfortable with me in many of our sessions. I'm also someone who has suicidal thoughts, feelings, and fantasies that have actually spiked without warning into a crisis--my counselor helps me just by being willing to help. Simply saying the words, "I want to help you" sometimes is worth every penny I pay. There is a lot of power in that. It isn't like the end of the world when my counselor says really silly, stupid things that aren't helpful. I feel like we grow together. I had a student counselor for several months that was free. she learned along with me and I know she helped me learn new ways of approaching my problems. Keep working on your own stuff. You'll get there. One thing I've learned from therapy: take care of your "self"--don't beat yourself up. just keep doing the work.

 

[Sita]

My supervisor knows that I do not feel comfortable working with clients with sexual trauma as I find it triggering. She...

This will be most the healing thing you can do, as long as the supervisor isn't an idiot

 

[Ojelom]

I want to begin by saying that I think that people with trauma histories can and do make good therapists. However, I think those trauma histories need to be relatively resolved by the therapist before they work with clients - even as a trainee.

A number of posts have stated that the OP isn't specializing in trauma therapy; however, I think many clients with other "presenting" symptoms may have trauma histories that they are afraid or ashamed to disclose. They need to feel safe with the therapist first. How's that going to work if they finally feel safe enough to disclose and the therapist gets triggered? In the best case, she can refer them out - but that's going to be painful for the client as well - "I finally told someone and it was so awful she had to send me elsewhere".

From what you (the OP) have described, you are not even close to resolving your own issues. If you are too ashamed to talk about your history with your supervisor and have only begun doing trauma work with your own therapist, you have some work to do. I sense from your posts that you really do care, so please don't take this as a criticism. I believe that there are other things you can do with your degree while you work through your own stuff. For example, I have a friend with a MSW who works with the court systems assessing children and parents in crisis.

What I would like to emphasize, as a person who is working through her own trauma - bad or incompetent therapy is worse than no therapy at all. And your client's are going to know (consciously or unconsciously) that you are not "there" for them. I'm guessing they will blame themselves.

Dissociating in session isn't so grave and serious. It has been studied and proven that therapists without trauma histories find themselves dissociating in session IN RESPONSE to a dissociating client. This is valuable tool. This counter transference can clue the therapist to notice that it's actually the client that is dissociating first. The T is trained to be able to help this mutual dissociation and use it as information to help the client.

Do you have citations for these studies? My understanding of and experience with trauma therapy is that the role of the therapist is to help the client stay grounded, not to dive into the abyss with them.

My counselor is often fidgety and obviously uncomfortable with me in many of our sessions.

This would concern me.

 

[Toruki]

Relational therapists and others use the counter-transference to inform themselves of the process both of the client and of those the client might interact with. This is useful, however the therapist isn't supposed to dissociate, just notice the pull towards doing so.

OK so it might happen, a couple of times, but the therapist should become aware of it and catch the process before dissociation occurs and track back to find the point at which the pull towards dissociation began, using this insight to inform future interactions with the client.

The therapist needs to be VERY aware of their own process so they can discern what is their process (ie their own transference) and what is useful counter-transferential process. This is where lots of personal therapy and a rock solid supervisor are essential.

Without this combination it is almost impossible for the trainee therapist to learn to differentiate what is happening at a transferential level and be able to use their counter-transference IN THE SERVICE OF THE CLIENT.

Therapists who have experienced various kinds of trauma often make exceptionally good therapists as long as they have enough personal therapy and good supervision. Their empathy with the client is enhanced and they are ahead of the clients process, having personally experienced the journey.

I can't emphasise enough the importance of deep personal therapy over a long period. This is the foundation upon which the relationship with the supervisor is built. Supervisors expect openness and honesty from their supervisees, without it the client is potentially at risk.

 

[Vefizu]

The numerous attacks within this thread, directed toward the OP are unconscionable and outrageous.

The OP is a student FFS!!:mad:

The OP fully recognizes the issue and comes here seeking SUPPORT, KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION.................and WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lack of self-awareness of the attackers combined with a harsh, critical tenor, speaks volumes about those involved.

I suspect that NONE of the posters I'm referring to will self-reflect on this incident.......they will continue on their merry way and feel victimized by what I am saying. How typical!

Put yourself in the OP's shoes...if you took the risk of asking for support, would YOU want an apparent LAY-PERSON lecturing you on professional conduct and ethics!?!?!
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@OP

Sadly you are one of many T's that have come here and received a harsh response...it is a very longstanding pattern.

You do NOT deserve it.

I believe you will find your way through this issue and come out the other side stronger for it.:happy:

Thank you for dedicating your life and talents toward helping others to heal and cope.