I am a psychologist with ptsd

[Sita]

I agree with the above statement.

nevermind. I don't know which statement is above, so I don't agree with anything. Im hoping the best for you counselor trainee. Don't feel like a failure because you are not!

 

[Anorad]

Please educate on "attack" and "opinion". I saw various opinions in this thread. No one attacked anyone.

I thought you were agreeing on this "above statement", which happened to be the last statement before your post.

To which I also agree.

 

[Vatad]

I'm a therapist, I routinely work with trauma and I have complex PTSD. It's entirely possible to do this job with PTSD b...

I apologise for my delay as I had to take a step back from the forum. Thank you for your response. It is really valuable feedback. For the duration of 8 years I was undergoing DBT, it took many years to stabilise myself (i.e. suicide attempts, self harm, drug/alcohol abuse). I am 27 years old, I experienced trauma from the ages of 3-5, and also when I was 19. For many, many years I was in denial and it hasn't been until more recently that I have felt comfortable speaking about my experiences and ready to engage in trauma processing.

 

[Sawa]

I am just curious what are your steps now? Have you talked to your supervisor? So good to hear you are doing trauma work. I also experienced trauma at very young age (I was sexually abused from ages 4 to 5). I also have a narcissistic mother who raised me to be in denial regarding any psychological distress. I have been in trauma focused therapy and it is working! You have many skills that you have learned that can serve you well. I am a teacher and seriously all of my skills that I learned in mindfulness and DBT can be transfered to my students. Have you thought about working in schools with teens?

 

[Okato]

For the record, I also thought it felt like an attack and I don't think the original poster is being defensive. You suggested he/she is being immoral....

I wasn't attacking you, not in the least.

I think that if you are going to be so defensive when someone gives you cons...

 

[Nobenig]

That wasn't an attack. They did suggest the OP's behavior is immoral, but they did not call the OP immoral. See?

I thought that comment was spot on. Don't take on a client if you're unable to stay present. They need you to be there. Really really there.

 

[Ezone]

Think of it like a firefighter...... they experienced a fire when they were young and wanted to become a firefighter. They do the training and begin to get deployed to real fires..... then they find they dissociate when they attend a fire where life is at risk.

Being sensible they link their childhood fire experience to the dissociation. If they tell no one and continue to work, they put their colleagues at risk, and are ineffective in saving lives. If they tell their boss and ask to be removed from front line duty and get trauma treatment that's fine. There is a possibility they may never return to front line firefighting, but they may well do so, and in doing so they will be able to help their fellow firefighters and the people they rescue by understanding that particular type of trauma and how to recover from it better than most trauma therapists.

 

[Asu]

My supervisor knows that I do not feel comfortable working with clients with sexual trauma as I find it triggering. She...

Telling your supervisor I think you find very healing. It's so interesting to me how every time I tell it, and every time it is told to a new person that it some how "comes out" of my body and brain. Little by little. We can't trust everyone obviously! You will know who to trust, slowly.

 

[Giviha]

I am a therapist with PTSD. I worked for over a decade with sexual abuse victims and developed compassion fatigue. However, I also had my own childhood abuse and didn't know that it along with a packed schedule, working with children, testifying often, and being highly empathetic increased my risk to develop symptoms. I've been on sabbatical for over a year now. I believe that you can help others because you know first hand what PTSD feels like but you need to be on the healthy side of the issues. Everyone has their issues, I found that out when I broke down and other professionals began to openly share with me. I'm on the healing side now and although I still get easily overwhelmed I go to yoga everyday, go for walks, get needed rest, nourish my body with healthy foods, still go to therapy weekly, stay mostly present and I'm aware of my symptoms whereas as before I was unable to admit that anything was wrong. It's okay to be not okay as long as you meet it with honesty and kindness.

 

[Borim]

I am a psychologist also, for almost 20 years plus graduate training. I have complex PTSD. My struggles and pain and treatment have enabled me to be with my clients in a really deep way because I get it and I imagine that will be the case for you or is already.

First, I want to just empathize with your experience. Its horrible to dissociate or feel paralyzed or have terror triggered in a session with a client. Whenever that happened to me - I felt such shame, beat myself up so badly, felt I was doing a terrible job. But it is completely understandable and you are working on it and it will get better. Becoming a therapist is an ongoing process and everyone has areas that are difficult for them. There are many people without PTSD who can't treat people who have been sexually abused effectively and there are therapists who have trouble treating other types of clients. And there are therapists who can't empathize sufficiently - which is awful. As patients we all want our therapists to be perfect but they are not. However, it is the therapists who grapple with their issues and learn from them, own them and really care about their patients, that are truly helpful. I've had therapists become distracted or not respond well to me in a certain situation; however, if I told them and they were interested in and responsive to how I felt it was really OK, even reparative. Its the therapists who can't cop to their own stuff who really do patients a disservice.

Ultimately you will have control over who you see. I'm aware of my limitations and do not take clients for whom I don't think I can provide adequate help. But it is a reality that nobody has that option when they are in a training situation.

 

[Ezone]

Borim says "I'm aware of my limitations and do not take clients for whom I don't think I can provide adequate help. But it is a reality that nobody has that option when they are in a training situation."

My experience is that training is the time when therapists most definitely DO have the option of not taking clients or referring them on. The trainees supervisor has the responsibility of making sure the trainee is not working beyond their level of competence, assist the trainee in assessing their level of competence and also informing the trainee of the reasons why they may be getting into deeper water than they can cope with. A supervisor may also order a trainee to not take on, or refer on a client or face supervision being withdrawn, in which case the trainee would be in breach of their ethical guidelines and likely to have their accreditation and endorsement to practice withdrawn.