Absolutely mortified

[Casey_03]

I got thrown out of the dentist's office today for bringing my kid, who would not stop freaking out. I was so happy that I found a dentist that accepts Medicaid in my area; figured it was the perfect chance to finally get a dental checkup, since I haven't been to a dentist in more than 10 years. I thought it could also rule out dental problems for my current health woes.

I made the appoitnment and later called back to ask if it'd be okay if I brought my one-year-old with and left him in his car seat during the exam, as there's no one else to watch him and I have no money for a babysitter/daycare. (I didn't tell them about the money part just asked if it'd be okay to bring him). They said it was fine.

Well, the appointment was this morning. I brought him. And he threw probably the worst hissyfit he's ever thrown. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The dentists and dental assistants in the office freaked out on me; at least two dentists from neighboring rooms came over to ask why a baby had been allowed in the office when this isn't a pediatric dentist, and another walked over and said, "why on earth would you bring a baby here and disrupt everyone around you?" They ended up escorting me and my screaming child out after he would not calm down. All they managed to do was take X-rays. They told me to come back when I can find someone to take care of him.

I left shaking uncontrollably and sobbing and I still can't calm down. Yes, I know I should have found someone to watch him, but how do I do that with no money? How do I ever get medical care for myself now? And why would they tell me it's fine to bring him if babies are strictly forbidden in this office? (It was one giant open room with about 10 different dental stations, no doors or separate rooms, so I can understand why it would be disruptive ... but still, why tell me it's okay to bring him then?!)

 

[Deleted member 541]

When he started crying, you should have excused yourself and brought him outside to calm him down. That's what most people do when their kid starts acting up. Once calm, they try it again. If he can't calm down, then you reschedule the appointment. I don't like a screaming kid either. Many people don't. It just sort of goes with the territory.

 

[Casey_03]

I did that. Repeatedly. I don't mind them asking me to reschedule, I was about to ask to reschedule myself. What I mind is the doctors coming over and yelling at me when they specifically told me I could bring him. They could have quietly and polite me asked me to reschedule. Instead, they made the scene bigger than it had to be and literally shouted at me from the other rooms, and one of them loudly said, "What kind of mother drags her kid with her to the dentist?" They humiliated me, when they were the ones who said, "oh yeah, bring him, it's no problem."

Clearly I am a terrible mother. I'm so sorry I have unleashed my child on the world and made poor people have to hear his crying. Those poor, poor other patients, I'm sure it was very traumatic for them! Good thing you weren't there @SheCat, good to know it would've been unpleasant for you!

 

[Casey_03]

Please do not comment on any of my threads anymore. You commented with something you knew damn well would just upset me more and assumed that I did NOT try to calm him down by removing him. There's clearly no point in commenting on people's threads if all you're going to do is take a jab at them instead of offering anything even remotely helpful or constructive.

 

[Ivi]

You're not a bad mother. Sometimes babies cry and sometimes for no reason they won't settle. I've had it with my nephews before.
I'm sorry you feel so awful I can understand how humiliating it can be when you are out in public with a baby who won't settle. I hope you can get something arranged soon

 

[Deleted member 37474]

That had to have been a horrible experience. You can't predict how a one year old will react in any environment. People are very insensistive and judgmental when it comes to children (and pets). Because you have the x-rays done (which is the most expensive part) you may be able to find a private dentist that you could afford after transferring the x rays. Ask around for their child policy and self pay rates. Mention you have the x rays that can be transferred. My dentist office is for adults but they have toys for kids to play with. The front desk ladies watched my child for me one year. Same with the chiropractor office. Unfortunately, private/expensive places sometimes offer a better deal for moms. :(

Take a day to self care. You don't know those people and never have to see them again if you don't want to. Let me know if you live in Texas. If I am near you, I will watch your baby for all of this stuff. I am sorry how hard this is for you and that you feel so alone. Pm me any time.;)

 

[anonymous]

one of them loudly said, "What kind of mother drags her kid with her to the dentist?"

I'd have shot back "The kind of parent that doesn't leave their baby alone at home. I hope you don't have any kids, you don't deserve to breed."

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I am sorry you experienced this. The lack of compassion is astounding. I am not a mother, but had I been in that room and in a position to help distract a distressed kid for 10-15, or however many, minutes you can bet your a@@ I would've done so.

And why would they tell me it's fine to bring him if babies are strictly forbidden in this office?

As far as I know, babies are not strictly forbidden *anywhere* and it must've been particularly frustrating/humiliating to have asked permission and then be treated in such a manner. Please be gentle with yourself over this.

 

[EveHarrington]

Well they do say that doctors (and I'd assume dentists were right up there in this category....) are high in the IQ category but low in the EQ category. Intelligence is what gets them into professional school, not their ability to be empathetic.

It sucks that for professionals they acted completely unprofessional. You definitely didn't deserve to be treated that way!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Casey_03

1) Please show me ANYWHERE in your original post where you say that you took your son OUTSIDE to calm him down!?!?!?
I'm not a mind reader.
2). Ok, you were asked to leave.
You are NOT the only mother in the world that this has happen d to, and you won't be the last either.

3). A dentist office is a place FULL of people that are anxious. People are on a short fuse, and not able to handle much when they are waiting for a dentist to inflict pain....

4). I don't like peas or Lima beans either, I made a STATEMENT that I don't like screaming kids. I don't, it was a statement.

You apparently took every I said in an attacking way. Fine, your choice. I didn't. I made statements. I don't give out sympathy for menial issues.

Yes, I will stay out of your threads because it's apparent that you can't handle someone speaking their mind.

 

[Casey_03]

I didn't know I was required to provide a detailed breakdown of all the ways I tried to calm him down @She Cat . Please go be bitter and negative on someone else's thread.

And thank you for telling me struggling to cope with raising a son on my own is a "menial issue." I seem to recall your "menial issue" of being booted from your apartment and how sympathetic everyone was, but I guess that was also a "menial issue."

Yep, it's so "menial" to me that I came home and self-harmed for the first time in nearly 15 years. Silly me, getting upset and thinking about hanging herself over "menial issues" like realizing she's completely on her own with a child that she probably should give up for addoption, because she can't cut it anymore. I'll be sure to vet all the topics I post about in the future so as not to irritate you with my "menial issues." If it was "menial" to you -- you should've refrained from commenting instead of taking a dig at me for no apparent reason.

 

[Casey_03]

And I have to say @She Cat , really well done that you returned to this thread in the guise of offering clarification SOLELY to throw another jab my way and say this is a "menial issue." Really? Is it really necessary to be so bitter and rude to someone who has just explicitly said she's in a state of extreme so distress?