Undiagnosed Is it ptsd? physical & sexual trauma. life threatened. multiple miscarriages. debilitating symptoms.

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

I've been wondering for a long time if I might be suffering from PTSD. I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life and I'm not sure if it's the combination or accumulation of it all that finally tipped me over the edge. I've never been particularly happy. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD at various times in my life but I never took medication or continued with therapy. Today I feel like I'm at my breaking point. I feel there is no one to talk to. I've suffered physical and sexual trauma. I've had my life threatened and I've suffered multiple miscarriages. I don't sleep well. I wake up screaming sometimes multiple times a night. I have extreme panic attacks that my children are in danger. I avoid answering the door. Sometimes I even cower behind it shaking, hoping whoever it is will go away. I know this is not rational. I avoid sex with my husband for as long as I possibly can and being touched makes me naseous. I feel dirty and used for hours after I do have sex. I can't concentrate on my work. Sometimes I stare at my computer for hours on end unable to get started even though I have so much I need to do. I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes and that my heart is jumping out of my chest. I get frustrated and angry easily. I'm worried I'm losing my mind. I'm not sure what to do or where to turn. I do not have a great support system around me.

 

[Aideun32]

Hey it sounds like that is ptsd.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Nobody here can tell you if you've got PTSD. It sounds like you are suffering from the effects of trauma though, and could use some help with healing.

Is finding a trauma therapist an option for you at this time?

 

[Justmehere]

You have been through clear trauma, so no matter the diagnosis, and solid trauma therapist could help a lot.

 

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

Thank you. I'd like to get some help but I'm not sure how supportive my husband would be. How do I find a trauma therapist or do I see a psychologist?

 

[Justmehere]

Psychologists will have more years of schooling but not always more training in trauma specific techniques. Psychology Today has a pretty good database of providers, and those therapists that specialize in PTSD will usually have it at the top of the list of things they treat. Then call and ask if they specialize in trauma, and they should be able to explain their experience and skill set.

 

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

Psychologists will have more years of schooling but not always more training in trauma specific tech...

Thank you.

 

[Fadeaway]

We can't diagnose you, but I would say there is a strong possibility. I get in to see a therapist right away. You can find google therapists in your area. You can use this site as well. Link Removed

We are definitely here to listen. You aren't alone. I think you will find a lot of people here who can relate to what you have been through and what you are feeling now. Don't worry, you aren't losing your mind. You are reacting to bad things that have happened to you.

Are you on any medication. There are medications that help with nightmares that could be a possibility. Anxiety too.

I avoid answering the door. Sometimes I even cower behind it shaking, hoping whoever it is will go away.

You really aren't alone on this one. My instant reaction is to crawl in bed and hide under the covers. The thing is you don't know if the person on the other side of the door is a safe person or not, and if you have a peep hole, you still have to get close enough to the door that they can hear that you are home. Plus the knocking or door bell can be jarring and trigger startle reflexes. So, there is some rational behind it.

 

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

We can't diagnose you, but I would say there is a strong possibility. I get in to see a therapist righ...

Thank you. You really don't know how good it is to hear that I'm not the only one.

 

[Keen]

I've been wondering for a long time if I might be suffering from PTSD. I have experienced a l...

Your experiences sound so familiar. Know that you're not alone and many people have gone and are going through these same things. And know that treatments are available that can help alleviate your symptoms and get you feeling better. I'm sorry your husband and those around you aren't a good support. You'll find great support here in the forums. And a therapist can be a great support as well. And as you heal, there's a good chance it will help you to feel able to connect with more supportive, healthy people. Just know you're not crazy, you are worth taking care of and getting help for, and there is hope.

 

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I know I need to be around more supportive people but it's so hard to leave when I feel so broken. I'm so glad I reached out today. I just wish I would have done it sooner.

 

[AtMyBreakingPoint]

This might be a dumb question but if I seek help will they go after my abuser? Most of the abuse happened more than 10 years ago.