It's funny, timing wise for me, for this to come up right now.
So to help me and to help anyone who comments, if you truly, deeply feel that you don't belong among all the other people in this world, that you're the sole odd one out, please comment
My not belonging anywhere has little to nothing to do with other people. Whether other people belong or not in no way affects my belonging. Aside from that, yes.
Like most things that sound bad, it's not something that bothers me, most of the time. It's just a fact. Neither good, nor bad, just is.
Other times, it's a good thing. The upside of not belonging anywhere is the freedom to go everywhere. I try to revel in
that as much as possible. Enjoying the people and places where I am, not worrying about the differences between us; but just soaking in the culture & practices, knowing that it's all temporary & transient. It's like this here, like that there, elsewhere still different. I won't be here that long, so it doesn't really matter.
Other times it's grief, & sorrow, & exhausting. While the upside is the freedom to go anywhere, the downside is there's no break from that. There's no going home.
The closest thing I've found to home are those ubiquitous hotel rooms -world over- most people hate so much. Clean sheets. Bare feet. Room service. Or on the eyes of someone I love. Regardless of where we happen to be.
When it does get too much, too many differences, too ...everything... I find I usually need to isolate for a time. Prophylactically. Take some time & space now, to maintain my own personal integrity & sense of self, so that it's something I have control over. Rather than getting hit with the longer & harder version of it, later.
Mostly I try not to think about it too much. Sometimes, though it just sort of leaks out.
