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What Makes You Angry Today?

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I never understood why isolating is not a good thing. I still dont. The few who know me are the same way. I have a forest surrounding me. Dogs, horses, cats and chickens keep me company. What is bad about that? Im not angry and not anyones enemy, but I remember when I was and this is better.

I do not like drama. I cant hack it at all. So this is best.

The only thing wrong with isolation is it is lonely in my opinion.
 
. I have a forest surrounding me. Dogs, horses, cats and chickens keep me company. What is bad about that? .
I wonder how many of us have chosen similar situations. A lot I bet. I too bought a small piece of property in the forest. Does the PTSD lead us to seek a quiet country life? I find the peace & quiet comforting. I go days without going into town. When I do, it's like Sarge described earlier, in and out, no wasted time strolling down aisles browsing. I spend as little time as possible. My therapist keeps trying to get me go to Walmart and stroll around idly. I'd rather stick toothpicks in my eyes. Is this a bad thing?
 
The only thing wrong with isolation is it is lonely in my opinion.

Isolating yourself from the general public isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think that the problem is that when your stress load is so high that you have to start clearing things out of your stress cup. When that happens you start getting rid of things in your life that cause stress, starting with the easiest: meaning you usually start pushing people away from you including the people who love and care for you. This is a problem for we humans as we are social creatures. If we live completely isolated we slowly go insane.

Depending on how bad your symptoms are, pushing people away can be as mild as "I need some time to myself." To a middle level where you live your life to minimize your contact with people. To the extreme of becoming a hermit. I think it is a question of how easy is it for you to be pushed to the different levels?

It is also a question of how hard to you push people away from you? When I melted down, I was pushing people away from me with a flamethrower. Its hard to come back from that...
 
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I can be around people, go shopping and get out. However, sometimes it can go the other way. The stress load starts building up, like shopping in Wallies, on some days when most of the people are rude ass holes. I just tell the wife I am going to the van......

The hardest thing that I am dealing with is my loss of emotions.(90+%)....I can not cry, it's starts but then I just tear up briefly and something inside fights it and makes it just quit...I think this is from Men Don't Cry??? I have little to no joy in my life and that is fleeting. I sometime think to my self, you are one cold motherf*cker.....I guess I am....there was a time I had to be.

There are times when I have no idea when the good emotions will come out. The wife and I just gave our daughter the car we were helping he buy for xmas. The wife had put some bows and tinsel garland on the car. We get her outside and she sees the car and is some what shocked. I go to tell her Marry Christmas daughter and in the doing, I start to cry as it is coming out. It just quits......I was so happy for her on the inside, it just could not make to the outside.........I love my wife and daughter, but I feel they are getting short changed, because of my lost of emotions and me being cold......

J R
 
Isolating yourself from the general public isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think that the problem is that when your stress load is so high that you have to start clearing things out of your stress cup. When that happens you start getting rid of things in your life that cause stress, starting with the easiest: meaning you usually start pushing people away from you including the people who love and care for you. This is a problem for we humans as we are social creatures. If we live completely isolated we slowly go insane.

Depending on how bad your symptoms are, pushing people away can be as mild as "I need some time to myself." To a middle level where you live your life to minimize your contact with people. To the extreme of becoming a hermit. I think it is a question of how easy is it for you to be pushed to the different levels?

It is also a question of how hard to you push people away from you? When I melted down, I was pushing people away from me with a flamethrower. Its hard to come back from that...


I ended up pushing the ones I loved away...overnight. The antagonistic wife and unruly kids had to leave. The drama was too much for too long and the chaos was unbearable after so many years of it. Every button I had was pushed everyday. I felt I was insane and bound to go postal if things didnt change and I needed a place to sleep. PS: They have a nice life now with money and houses and I have my farm in the forest. A good trade.

Of course, now I miss them and it cannot be fixed. Too much damage occurred. So, I isolate to keep out of the drama and hustle and bustle of village life.

I have people around me at times who do not want to push my buttons since they have the same ones. It is good, but Im not going back to the old ways. I just cant do that again.

So Fargo, what you say really hit home for me. Im not a hermit yet although I do look like a crusty old cowboy and folks tend to shy away when Im in the super market stocking up. I can get a whole aisle to myself. The kids in shopping carts always look at me and smile for some reason, so I smile back and wave a little acknowledgement toward them. That part is pretty cool.
 
My wife and I clung to each other like two poor souls in a hurricane. Our medical problems, my PTSD and her out of control diabetes, caused us to depend heavily on each other. We were met with hideous challenges like her losing her sight, then a kidney transplant. I lost her a millimeter at a time.

She, on the other hand, helped me get through rages. She helped me socialize but I still wound up in the corner, avoiding any contact. She helped me through college. Through difficult times in my work. I wouldn't have been able to do it without her help.

After 33 years of me depending upon her, I lost her. I crawled up inside a Jack Daniels bottle for four years. Tried very hard to do away with myself with alcohol. Have no explanation why I'm here today.

I returned to what I called home, cleaned up and am trying to integrate back into society. Ain't easy. I hate it, but everybody says I have to do it.

So, I'm trying. That's my best shot.

Sarg
 
I applied for a supervisor position at work and interviewed Thursday night. The interview went well. Or so I assumed.

I've held various management positions before that are related to the civilian field I work in. And they are more than relevant to the position I've applied for.

I got brought into the office today and told I don't have enough mentoring experience... Seriously? Are you f*cking kidding me. I told him he has my resume on the table, I have MORE than enough experience mentoring people. Not only with my years in management but six years of military experience. I was so fed up. I went back to my desk and couldn't work because I was so pissed of. I ended up clocking out and left. We work on an attendance point system, so, I'm not to worried about any repercussion.

I honestly haven't been this pissed in a long time. I have one more term of school, 3 more months and I can leave that job. Enough time to finish that term of school, get my vacation, and find a new f*cking job.
 
I applied for a supervisor position at work and interviewed Thursday night. The interview went well. Or so I assumed.

I've held various management positions before that are related to the civilian field I work in. And they are more than relevant to the position I've applied for.

.


Cgf,

I'm so sorry that's a slap in the face, I'm sort of expecting the same kind of news for the vfw service officer job except I have a feeling it will be because I was the only female who interviewed. Problem really is that you have more experience than your supervisor and they feel threatened, your better than them and they know it. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your time will come my friend hang in there.
 
Cgf,

I'm so sorry that's a slap in the face, I'm sort of expecting the same kind of news for the vfw service officer job except I have a feeling it will be because I was the only female who interviewed. Problem really is that you have more experience than your supervisor and they feel threatened, your better than them and they know it. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your time will come my friend hang in there.
It really is a slap in the face. I'm going to feel bad for my manager when I go back in and he talks about it with me.

I need to move onto bigger and better things where I can actually grow.

Sorry to hear you didn't get that job, I assumed you did. :(
 
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