Well, Shit...

[CyclePath]

cycle, big word of advice re the shrinks. be honest with both yourself and them during the sessions.
don't be the soldier you were during a session, let it out.
it is hard in the beginning, as we do not want to admit out weaknesses.

also, Inquire about EMDR therapy.

Iceman - Had my 4th session with the therapist today and she recommended that we move ahead trying out EMDR. We built my "safe space", learned some breathing, and picked out one of my toughest topics to address. For that topic I picked out three bad mental pictures and rated them; also picked out a good one. You're right, it is hard and she had to pull me back a couple of times when I would zone out and relive things internally. It was a rough afternoon, but screw it I am running right at this and she made sure I Ieft there collected.

 

[CyclePath]

Seen the phsyciatrist today for a two week follow up on my meds (trazodone and citalopram). He told me that my sleep study results are back and that I have sleep apnea, so I get to have a CPAP issued on the 26th. And since I am still having nightmares and anxiety he gave me prazosin & propranolol. Feeling kinda like I am being assimilated by the Borg.

 

[Grizzly]

Seen the phsyciatrist today for a two week follow up on my meds (trazodone and citalopram). He told me that my sleep study results are back and that I have sleep apnea, so I get to have a CPAP issued on the 26th. And since I am still having nightmares and anxiety he gave me prazosin & propranolol. Feeling kinda like I am being assimilated by the Borg.

I took the Prazosin and propranolol for a while. Caused the nightmares to cease but I had some wild alice in wonderland type dreams. It was lowering my BP too much through the day and I would black out so I had to cut it. These doctors use a shotgun effect until they find a combo that fits each person. I have been off all my meds and am on a new one that is an antidepressant but it's supposed to help the fibromyalgia pain. Frankly I don't thing there is a pill that truly helps PTSD, only numb us down enough to tolerate the symptoms.

 

[CyclePath]

only numb us down enough to tolerate the symptoms.

He told me that these are the four that he likes working with. He also told me to play around with things and find the combo that works best for me with them. I'm okay with that and to be honest the things that I have seen, done, and experienced over the last 27 years should hurt. It's been a long hard ride and I have the physical and mental baggage to go with that. The biggest thing for me is to retire and leave this area. I have been at one base between three commands for 20 years (15 at one) and I am surrounded by triggers (e.g. memorials for dead friends/memories) daily. I've hit my limit, it's time to move on, take care of myself and carry on the legacy of those that gave everything for us and a detached society that couldn't really give a rats ass about it. Complacent bastards.

 

[Grizzly]

He told me that these are the four that he likes working with. He also told me to play around with things and find the combo that works best for me with them. I'm okay with that and to be honest the things that I have seen, done, and experienced over the last 27 years should hurt. It's been a long hard ride and I have the physical and mental baggage to go with that. The biggest thing for me is to retire and leave this area. I have been at one base between three commands for 20 years (15 at one) and I am surrounded by triggers (e.g. memorials for dead friends/memories) daily. I've hit my limit, it's time to move on, take care of myself and carry on the legacy of those that gave everything for us and a detached society that couldn't really give a rats ass about it. Complacent bastards.

Well it certainly sounds like you have a handle on what you have to do for yourself. That's a huge step Bro!

 

[CyclePath]

Well it certainly sounds like you have a handle on what you have to do for yourself. That's a huge step Bro!

Well it's a start and a plan, Grizzly! I've been feeling pretty good for the last few days and I'm happy with that, but I'm under no illusion that everything is going to be peachy.