Ptsd Education

[Deleted member 33437]

Where are you all getting your education on the plague we all have? Ive been in therapy on a weekly basis since Jan 2015 and all we do is talk anout my week. She tried a few time EMDR (resistance to it???) and she also teid once and only once exposure (took me like 4 days to get off the funk that aession caused, it wasnt pretty).
So my question is, where the hell you are getting all the info on how the brain works and what this injury causes?
Thanks

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Well there are a lot of posts from the past from members like Anthony and Jimmy that have information on this beast plague.
You'll have to use the search function to dig them up.
I've basically done my own testing and eventually came to read online that lotta others were doing the same.
I.E Video gaming.

In I believe 2012 or so I began joining up with people in a game called ArmA 2 which was a war simulator.
Then we'd team up and play insurgency based missions were we went in and cleared out towns and secured intel.
There would be IED's and what not. So it was a form of virtual exposure.
I ended up reading later on an article about that being tried and perhaps it's helped me in a way. Especially with
communicating with people that I don't feel I'm scaring the shit out of lol.

However some people didn't like to play with me because I'd yell and get all riled up at times. Other's didn't mind.
There were vets on there too. Lets see what else.. Basically I have had the most success with exposure, but say
it's watching videos online of other veterans testimonies or Vietnam and I'm having a bawl uncontrollably. Stuff
comes up that I had stored away for another day perhaps.

Another example of how slow exposure has helped me is loud bangs and booms used to be real bad, but there's
not much you can do about that except get used to it. My vehicle would backfire a lot, it got to the point where I was
worried I would be scaring other vet's by driving by not myself. However some little girls balloons popped yesterday I didn't jump,
but I thought someone was messing with me until I saw it was just two girls up the street playing with balloons and I relaxed.

It's like trial and error man, I see myself laying on my belly moving dirt away with my hands prodding and poking around a land mine. In regards to the beast.
Trying to find relief. Not everything works for all. My background I grew up gaming and what not. So it was only natural I came back to it.
I had it at a point where I was addicted completely at first playing way too much to escape from my new reality. Now I got it regulated
thank god.

You gotta sorta become your own doctor aye?
No one will want to help you more than you want to help yourself.
And the doctors and regulations are on some SERIOUS arrogant bullshit.

 

[FieldArtilleryGuy]

Google search to find new ideas, talk to others that have the same or similar problems, read (currently I'm reading "Down Range: to Iraq and Back") don't expect your therapist to have all or honestly any of the answers. Some therapists are good and some are not.

 

[JarHed]

There's a lot of great info here and of course you can google any thing you'd like to know about the brain and how PTSD affects it. You may not realize it but you're really at the beginning of your search and struggle with it, sorry. I too wanted to know all about it so I won't stop you I think we all want to do that at some point. Ultimately, though, it isn't necessary to improving how you are in dealing with it on a daily basis.

As far as therapy goes, I recommend it. It has to be the full on real thing though. You can't 'try' it of a session you have to do the whole thing. It can be months of agony but it will get better. Therapy is work like you've never had to do. I won't sugar coat it.....it tough, but it's worthwhile.

Make sure you feel comfortable with your therapist, that's key. If you have questions ask them, if they don't or can't answer them rethink the person that you're doing this with. I'd also look up CBT and Prolonged Exposure therapies. They're the standards at the moment and a the most effective for most people.

PTSD sucks, you know it we all do. We have it it doesn't go away and we deal with it everyday. But I will say this, it can get better. You may not think so but it can. There's good help and support here, use that.

Think about where you'd like to be in 5 years. Make a plan and move towards that. The time is going to go by anyway. Don't quit, stay the course and best of luck.

JarHed

 

[Deleted member 33437]

As far as therapy goes, I recommend it. It has to be the full on real thing though. You can't 'try' it of a session you have to do the whole thing. It can be months of agony but it will get better. Therapy is work like you've never had to do. I won't sugar coat it.....it tough, but it's worthwhile.

I don't control the session, she does. She tried EMDR a few times but I can't seem to get into it, could I be resistant to it? From what I read online, her EMDR doesn't match what VAC and VA says it should be like. She ask me to focus on a thing that makes me happy, use that wand and that is it. (n)

Normally, we mainly discuss what happened since the last visit (weekly). I sometime get cues like that's the PTSD talking. She mentioned to my MO and my psychiatrist that she is doing CPT. I don't get that one, if she is doing it, I don't notice it. I remember she tried one exposure and I was a puddle of tears for almost a week. All I kept seeing day and night was that 30sec flash with my patient. It was awful.
*BTW, we CDN medics don't do mental health stuff, it's a direct route straight to MO, so we have no education or exposure on it. Only later in our career that we get into psych.

Think about where you'd like to be in 5 years. Make a plan and move towards that. The time is going to go by anyway. Don't quit, stay the course and best of luck.

Where I wanna be in 5yrs, hmmm how about above ground? Is that ok of a goal?

I get in these really dark place in my head, I think pretty much everyone is against me, they don't understand what goes on in my head and with my body and I push them away. Why? The f*ck I know but I do. It's like I'm seeing what they think of me and I get all paranoid about it. I hide from everyone, I am the name I have on this forum "Leave me alone". I'm tired of being a burden.:poop:

The worst for me is to try to use the grounding technique I'm learning during weekly group therapy and I most often I get so wind up in my head that I am a whirlwind of anger, sadness, frustration, panic and fear. I can't seem to ground myself, it last for hrs being miserable! Unless I get external cues, then I can calm down.

So I try to educate myself on what's going on in my head and with me not being able to read or type large amount of text at once (word processing in my brain and the lack of memory and attention) it's even harder. Like just for writing this, I probably proofread a couple dozen times. Each paragraph is then composed alone, I get up do something else and then I come back to it. It's frustrating, cause the more I try, the more I forget and the angrier I get.

I wish I could find the physiological process of a trigger, maybe I could recognize it before it gets out of hand? No? Maybe? I pushed nearly everybody away and I don't wanna lose the few I have left. :cry:

 

[Iceman]

I get in these really dark place in my head, I think pretty much everyone is against me, they don't understand what goes on in my head and with my body and I push them away. Why? The f*ck I know but I do. It's like I'm seeing what they think of me and I get all paranoid about it. I hide from everyone, I am the name I have on this forum "Leave me alone". I'm tired of being a burden.:poop:

Alone, this is common, i think for almost all of us. even after a lot of therapy, i still feel that way, a lot, and that sometimes, it would be better if i just stayed inside, in my nice little nest. i was just on vacation with my wife and one of my daughters. i forced myself to be with them when all i wanted to do was sit in the hotel room. after a few days, it got so bad i lashed out, defensively at them for no reason. i try to hide my feelings from them, but can't. i just force myself to be with them and wait for my next session to "drain" the anxiety build up.

from what i read about your sessions, it doesn't seem like your therapist and you click. i have a really good rapour with my therapist, and emdr does work for me, is yours doing it right for your needs?

there are 3 methods that my therapist has been trained in and uses uses with her system. Touch using 2 pads that you hold in your hands and the system sends pulses to, auditory with headphones, and visual with bouncing balls through an ipad interface.. for me, touch doesn't do anything, i respond to the auditory, with sometimes the visual added as an enhancement.

since i have massive memory gaps, and long term memory is shot, we start with something that is "recent" in the last couple of days, and go down that channel. it usually opens up a memory that i can then "re-wire" .

 

[JarHed]

Being above ground in 5 years is a good goal.

It's really the responsibility of the therapist to guide and educate you in what they're doing.

One thing that I know about therapy is that it gets harder before it gets easier. When I did PE before I started my therapist explained each type of therapy to me and let me choose the one that I felt was the best fit for me. She didn't 'try' it on me to see how I'd be. When we started I understood what each session would be like and what experience I would focus on for my treatment. For instance, Prolonged Exposure is just that. You talk about and in essence re-live the experience over and over. As time progresses you're able to deal with it better and talk about it in more detail.

One thing I will say, I'm a Vietnam Vet and I struggles for decades with this. If you don't do anything it won't get better, just sayin'. It can be hard to know if your treatment and therapist is right for you. Ask questions, it's your life. Again, if you don't think your therapist is a good fit for you request another, it's important.

 

[Friday]

The sister-site to mycombatptsd, www.myptsd.com, (same site owner, an Aussie Vet) is where all the science and practice is kept. <grin> We have our combat vets only area over here, but can use both sites. There's a link to it on the forums page, here, but here are some articles you might dig.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/ No bullshit breakdown of all things PTSD, short (long, but they write whole books on this shit, and this is as concise & to the point as you'll find it anywhere) & sweet.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.83659/ <<< Most f*cking useful thing I've ever come across. Short. Has pictures. :D IDK about you, but I need pics to unf*ck what too much text does to my head. The combatPTSD cup towards the bottom was like... Oh. Oh f*ck. Well that explains... everything.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing-emdr.86472/ About EMDR, since you asked.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/prolonged-exposure-therapy-for-ptsd.86487/
PE & the waaaaay longer more detailed version here
Link Removed

There are dozens of other articles, book lists, research, etc... but it took me a month or three just to work my way through the links above.

 

[Iceman]

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.83659/ <<< Most f*cking useful thing I've ever come across. Short. Has pictures. :D IDK about you, but I need pics to unf*ck what too much text does to my head. The combatPTSD cup towards the bottom was like... Oh. Oh f*ck. Well that explains... everything.

I've always loved this description. I've seen the cup explanation described somewhere else, but could never find the link again.
the one i saw however did not have the "combat" explanation in it, with the overflow lock. this one is a much better example

thanks for providing this link

 

[Deleted member 33437]

@Friday Wow thanks my friend! I looked at the combat cup explanation and wow!!! I'm a pressure cooker at the moment, pressure building and not a pleasure to have around that is for sure. Here in Canada, our MH has a little pamphlet they distribute to CoC so they may recognize when something is going wrong sort of like the cup explanation but I like this cup thing better. The way I was described is definitely in the red with flashing light and sirens :unsure:
Is there a method to save this thread so I can come back to it bit by bit? That is a shit load of text and I'm doing the squirrel on crack again so I need to take a break from reading.

Thanks again for the links, definitely appreciated.
Signed,
Birdbrain

 

[Joseph King]

Where are you all getting your education on the plague we all have? Ive been in therapy on a weekly basis since Jan 2015 and all we do is talk anout my week. She tried a few time EMDR (resistance to it???) and she also teid once and only once exposure (took me like 4 days to get off the funk that aession caused, it wasnt pretty).
So my question is, where the hell you are getting all the info on how the brain works and what this injury causes?
Thanks

Good question,
I don't know everything, but I am in my second year of Psychology using my GI Bill. It has helped me tremendously. First where to find resources, this site wont let me post a website but you should google what your secondary condition is. What I mean by that is, PTSD usually has secondary effects like anxiety, depression, or other disorders. So, if you have depression like I do, google that and poke around. There is tons of free and real online help out there. Second, EMDR is real and does work with some people. Some. What helped me was CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Basically, you learn what triggers you mentally, then walk through 5 steps on how to deal with it. It takes practice but it can work. You can google that one too. Try googling biological scarring ptsd. Your neurons can rewire themselves based on your experience. You also may have high cortisol levels due to an increased anxiety. You can google cortisol too don't worry. lol
Don't feel alone, its a daily battle,
Joe :)

 

[Deleted member 33437]

Thanks for your reply @Joe , from what I have went through so far with this PTSD, it seem to be depression and anxiety. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow and I will ask her about the 5 steps (yeah I googled it) and the secondary condition.
Thanks for your input (y)