DID Therapy for d.i.d. how do you stay coherent?

[Keen]

So, I just had a total disaster of a therapy session. The parts were switching so much that I was just totally incoherent, resulting in such a disorganized session that I don't think one single conversation about any topic was completed start to finish. It was super embarrassing and confusing, and in the end super discouraging because it made for a completely ineffective session.
Does anyone else with dissociative disorders have advice for how to keep parts/alters in control rather than them jumping in and talking over one another so that nothing gets done in the whole session?
If I could have done grounding, I would have, but from the get-go my brain was just switching so much that I could never even get to a point where I could remember about and choose to start grounding.
I'm not sure how to manage parts/alters, I'm totally new to this.
Thanks

 

[Ronin]

Can you try to stick to the same topic / same time era, or vaguely the same time era?

Or, a different question first, do you know how are your parts organized? Because I'm thinking getting on the same page would depend on how you're organized, and that would differ; if by similar ages of when did you split off, or similar trauma, or going by core needs & attachment schtuff, or a time of a trauma those particular people happened to be up for together, or, or, or. So many variables, so knowing what gets people to be apart / compartmentalizing in the first place, can help in what gets you all together.

By the way, I doubt it was such a huge mess of a session; it feels that way with intense sessions, D.I.D. or not, but that's you getting the work done. :) Cheers, everybody.

 

[Keen]

Can you try to stick to the same topic / same time era, or vaguely the same time era?

Or, a different que...

Thanks for these thoughts!
This was my first session after being diagnosed with D.I.D (was PTSD before). Honestly, I have no idea how my parts are organized. But that sounds like an important thing to figure out to go forward.
I'm not sure what topic my T was even trying to start with cause I just was telling her about an experience earlier in the week where I noticed a part taking over, and from there is just went all over the place and I don't even remember most of what happened except she tried to have me fill out some kind of worksheet, and do some kind of grounding, and talk about something, but the parts were switching all over so I couldn't complete anything. It was a total disaster, for sure.

 

[anonymous]

I've experienced that and it sucks. It's really hard especially when each part has a memory or their own perspective so they all have to be there, yet you never know who to let speak.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Kassie one of the things that we have done whih helps is to record our sessions with our iPhone. It's hard to listen to sometimes, but it lets us all know what happened. It has cut down on the anxiety of not knowing and worrying, because this way, even when I can't remember the session afterwards, I can at least find out what happened.

 

[Sideways]

It really wasn't a disaster. Because, your parts are only just learning about each others existence, and having to work as a team.

Say you've got a bunch of 12 year olds who have never played a team sport in their life, never had to share a classroom with other kids. They've this far been existing completely alone, having to take over completely in order to be heard.

Suddenly, they're in a class full of other kids, tryin to learn how to play a team sport (wtf is a team!?), and to top it off, they finally discover people who are interested in hearing what they have to say.

Your parts are going to deal with that differently. Some might find e super excited to participate, others are carrying around huge amounts of rage and are being told they have to play nice with others, others are going to be terrified and hide in the corner, others are going to be concerned about protecting others from the mayhem, others haven't quite made it into the classroom yet and are still wandering the halls looking for the right room...

There is chaos. Often, DID and chaos are pretty much one and the same thing. Hello DID, welcome to my whole new dimension of chaos!

Generally, you can talk to the whole class at the same time. Teach them about how this is going to work, how we're going to make sure everyone is safe and gets to participate. Some of the parts will need special attention because they're carrying more issues than others. Somewhere in there, you've probably also got a part that is going to prove really expert at helping to babysit! Somewhere, there's going to be a part that hates this whole concept and wants to sabotage the entire group.

Work with your T on some communication ground rules. What does your team look like at the moment, and what sorts of rules do we need to stay functional? Then it's practice, and dealing with problematic parts as they arise.

So, you've got parts that want to talk to pdoc - awesome! Maybe invite them to each write down the topic they want to talk about, then decide decide on an order, and invite each part to come and see your pdoc with you when their topic comes up?

The good news is that it's pretty darn cool when the team plays together for the first time. That's definitely something to look forward to.

 

[Keen]

@Kassie one of the things that we have done whih helps is to record our...

Great idea! It does seem uncomfortable to listen to afterward, I'm still pretty ashamed when it gets bad like that, but it does seem like it could be really helpful.

They've this far been existing completely alone, having to take over completely in order to be heard.

Suddenly, they're in a class full of other kids, tryin to learn how to play a team sport (wtf is a team!?)

Thats a really good perspective! I can see why they're having such a hard time.

Somewhere, there's going to be a part that hates this whole concept and wants to sabotage the entire group.

Yeah, already met him. Not sure how to get him on board.

Maybe invite them to each write down the topic they want to talk about, then decide decide on an order, and invite each part to come and see your pdoc with you when their topic comes up

I like this idea, thanks for it!

The good news is that it's pretty darn cool when the team plays together for the first time. That's definitely something to look forward to

I'm super looking forward to this! I'm working hard to keep that hope and faith up that things will get better and a year from now I'll be amazed at the progress.

 

[Ronin]

Not sure how to get him on board.

By finding something in the whole thing that's good for /him/.

That doesn't make him personally want to sabotage the whole thing. More asking & looking, less persuading.

 

[Keen]

Thanks!

 

[DharmaGirl]

I never knew when I was switching. I still don't. You are ahead of me in that.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I have so many things to tell T when I go cause life is constantly in flux. So, this last time, I had had a boring week at work, ....put some topics on separate folded pieces of paper and let T pick....read the topic and then I'd talk.......this time, there are hints on the outside to make therapy more like a game. I got through more stuff that way and was more focused than just coming in, spending the first 10 minutes warming up with BS convo, so it kept the conversation moving forward. T went along, seemed to be okay with the game. But I stayed focused!