EveHarrington
VIP Member
I'm in a perma-nauseous period once again so my food intake has been limited in both quantity and type. Sticking to fruits/vegetables and forcing down protein when I can. Ugh.
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Thank you for the support. I don't understand the logic that would allow parents to punish children for the things their parents do, especially when you are buying the food just to have it to make kids feel bad about themselves. The school never served saltines, so you would be the only ones eating them.
Someone recently ran for school board and won at the school district I went to with the intention of reforming the school lunch policies, and it is nice to know that someone is trying to stop the school from doing this to other kids. His wife works in the cafeteria, and I remember her from when I went there. I don't know if she could tell that I wasn't getting food at home, but I remember that she would give me overflowing scoops of vegetables or put extra cheese in my sandwich.
I discovered swimming and fell in love because it was so naked and chemically clean and the results are so quick in an unhealthy way i think. I hit the lanes really hard and lost 30lbs in 1 month. I haven't swam in a year partially because its not as accessible as it used to be but also because i was abusing it i think. Lately I've been missing because it really is free and beautiful to be in the water. almost like flying, almost. but I'm not sure if I'm ready to get back at it in a more relaxed controlled kind of way. Don't trust myself
Still, to be clear, I'm not an excersice addict, I'm a food junkie
Still, to be clear, I'm not an excersice addict, I'm a food junkie
Pronounced as 'completely f*cked', yep, right home with that one.
bluepassport
New Here
Thank you for making this post. I just came across it as I was hoping to find some comfort after a scary situation I just experienced.
I was sexually abused as a young child for a number of years. I was what you would would classify as 'normal' weight. After the abuse, and subsequent traumas that followed (death of my father, abandonment and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother) I rapidly gained weight. Eating my pain and hurt away was the way I coped...I binged, hid food and often made myself so numb from the inability to move from all the food in my system that all I could do was lay down and hope to sleep. I had my fair share of people in my life - strangers, family and even friends comment on my weight. It's nothing new. But I've never forgotten any of those words and how they have stayed with me as a scared, lonely child and now as an adult who is trying to relive things in order to move on.
I'm in my 40's now and 'clinically' obese, but have been slowly losing weight through healthier eating and trying to work through the emotions that I've kept hidden for so long.
My therapist is an angel who specializes in PTSD and has been helping me navigate through the darkness to help me through the healing process. My weight over the last year has shifted and I've made small, calculated progress. All things considered, I think I'm on the right track.
Except not even 30 mins ago, on my way to my therapy session, I was harassed on the subway. A woman, not too much older than me, sat beside me, poked my side and said 'you need to lose weight '. I was shocked....terrified...shaking. She continued, 'it's sad...look at you'.
Emotions came flooding back, terror and panic are all I can feel right now. I tried to hold back tears but find myself writing this before my therapy session in self loathing and utter disappointment in people.
The struggle never ends, it seems.
I was sexually abused as a young child for a number of years. I was what you would would classify as 'normal' weight. After the abuse, and subsequent traumas that followed (death of my father, abandonment and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother) I rapidly gained weight. Eating my pain and hurt away was the way I coped...I binged, hid food and often made myself so numb from the inability to move from all the food in my system that all I could do was lay down and hope to sleep. I had my fair share of people in my life - strangers, family and even friends comment on my weight. It's nothing new. But I've never forgotten any of those words and how they have stayed with me as a scared, lonely child and now as an adult who is trying to relive things in order to move on.
I'm in my 40's now and 'clinically' obese, but have been slowly losing weight through healthier eating and trying to work through the emotions that I've kept hidden for so long.
My therapist is an angel who specializes in PTSD and has been helping me navigate through the darkness to help me through the healing process. My weight over the last year has shifted and I've made small, calculated progress. All things considered, I think I'm on the right track.
Except not even 30 mins ago, on my way to my therapy session, I was harassed on the subway. A woman, not too much older than me, sat beside me, poked my side and said 'you need to lose weight '. I was shocked....terrified...shaking. She continued, 'it's sad...look at you'.
Emotions came flooding back, terror and panic are all I can feel right now. I tried to hold back tears but find myself writing this before my therapy session in self loathing and utter disappointment in people.
The struggle never ends, it seems.
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- #30
D
Deleted member 37474
f*ck that c*nt of a woman on the subway. This makes me sooo angry that people like her exist!!!!! I hope that your T brings you well deserved comfort and peace.
bluepassport
New Here
I have had a terrible relationship with food and my weight since I was a little kid. When I'm stressed, I do not eat. When I'm having a PTSD period, I do not eat. I get really nauseous and can't keep food down. But I also have a auto-immune disease where food ends up being my enemy. I have EoE with histamine intolerance. I wasn't properly diagnosed until a few years ago, and practically my entire life has been seeing doctors trying to figure out why eating makes me sick. I've been allergy tested, I've had feeding tubes with formula, my weight has gone down to a point where I've looked like Skeletor.
I'm 5'6" now, and I've been underweight my entire life, never going over about 115 lbs, even when I was pregnant (my daughter surprisingly weighed over 10 lbs when she was born). Both my father and my ex-husband have pointed out my healthy weight gain as being "fat" and "gross" so I wouldn't really try that hard to gain weight either.
Now, I'm struggling on a very specific diet consisting of practically nothing, but I've been consistently between 110 & 115. When PTSD and traumatic events are in my life, I can't eat at all which causes everything to be so much worse. I've had to learn to just force myself to eat anything I can.
I'm 5'6" now, and I've been underweight my entire life, never going over about 115 lbs, even when I was pregnant (my daughter surprisingly weighed over 10 lbs when she was born). Both my father and my ex-husband have pointed out my healthy weight gain as being "fat" and "gross" so I wouldn't really try that hard to gain weight either.
Now, I'm struggling on a very specific diet consisting of practically nothing, but I've been consistently between 110 & 115. When PTSD and traumatic events are in my life, I can't eat at all which causes everything to be so much worse. I've had to learn to just force myself to eat anything I can.
- Post starter
- #33
D
Deleted member 37474
It saddens me that your dad and husband say that. I love you just the way you are.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
As someone with food issues myself I'm
Kind of surprised that you haven't drilled into her that she should take food wherever she goes. Yes we live in a world where peanut allergy people are Molly coddled, but the truth is that the rest of us have to be pro-active. As an adult I make sure to check out menus ahead of time and take food with me whenever I can. It's up to her to be pro-active as the world really doesn't care about her dietary needs. (Stating a fact, not trying to be mean.)
- Post starter
- #35
D
Deleted member 41765
I think an attuned (i.e. good) mother doesn't drill anything into her children, and we are talking about a kid here.
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- Post starter
- #36
D
Deleted member 34328
I have dairy issues as well... Lactose Intolerance specifically... often an overused term (fact as well). I don’t know what your background is... sounds like you do the research before going somewhere. Random menu checks aren't a bad idea either.
I have 3 kids of my own. 2 have dairy issues. My son is over 10 now and would eat himself sick on all dairy products ie icecream, chocolate, cheese etc... I agree with you that as an adult, I can make decisions for myself that I bear the consequences for.
My son, on the other hand can't be expected to make the correct choices all the time when he's out or around friends eating chocolate bars. Perhaps not the best choice of words, but I have done the best I can to educate him and encourage him to make the right choices. Drilling him with info will go in one ear and out the other.
I don't think it's a fair assessment to put the responsibility on the child to do the job of the adults in charge.
When you entrust the well-being of your child into the care of supposed "responsible" adults, as a responsible parent you also provide medical information, any and all health needs or disabilities. You declare any and all medicines they need and provide the correct doses. Under the allergy column... you write: peanuts, dairy, bee stings etc
Perhaps the world in general isn't going to look out for the child/teenager... but the adults who agree to take on the responsibility of a group should. It is their responsibility and we as parents, should expect them to do their jobs.
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