Weight/rape/ptsd/eating

[Deleted member 12723]

Mine is up and down according to my stress levels since I started therapy.

 

[minirini]

I was a normal healthy weight when I was raped long ago. Then I was hyper-sexual to some extent. Block...

Gosh. Immediately after my first rape I became anorexic and a compulsive over-exerciser and lost like 10 lbs, which is a lot for someone who's 5' 2". I looked terrible, really sinewy and drawn. I think the only reason why I never got down to the 17.5 BMI was because I was also a cross country runner and kept muscle on. I read an article that said athletes with anorexia may not look as emaciated because of their muscle mass. Basically, I was just muscle, skin, and bones. Yuck. After the second rape, I just kept on trucking along with restriction and over-exercise until I broke down over bread pudding, and my friend suggested I see a therapist.

I did get therapy. I eventually gained some weight, but struggled with anorexic tendencies from sophomore year until the end of senior year. Then, when I'd just started my first job in the medical field (very very stressful), I started binging. The binges were awful and I was left in severe emotional distress after each binge. I'd try to purge the day after a binge by fasting, restricting, laxative abuse, or over-exercising. (Wow, my eating disorder sounds so much worse when I write it out.) Well, I gained about 10-15 lb from the binging. Probably much-needed weight, and I think a lot of the weight was from muscle mass and bone density, since I didn't really change clothing sizes. I dealt with atypical bulimia for about 1.5 years.

At the beginning of 2017, I thought that I'd finally beat my eating disorder since I was eating intuitively and exercising in ways that I liked. Then I remembered that I got raped. I relapsed into both severe restriction and binging for a month or two because I didn't want to deal with the memories. But I realized that if I faced the trauma head-on, my eating disorder symptoms stopped, and I was sick of eating disorders, so I chose to actively do trauma work.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think an attuned (i.e. good) mother doesn't drill anything into her children, and we are talking abo...

Agree to disagree. You end up with a disappointed kid who eats a banana. I end up with a kid who understands that the world isn't perfect and is empowered to do for themselves.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

? I'm afraid you lost me.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Agree to disagree. You end up with a disappointed kid who eats a banana. I end up with a kid who...

Or in your world.. the kid will get in trouble for breaking the rules by bringing food because the instructions said, "Children are not permitted to bring food. Please list their dietary needs, which will be taken care of."

Also, when I originally posted a response, it was in an offering of support to another poster talking about being singled out for not having money to buy food as a child. I was trying to say that I understand what kids go through when something causes them to be singled out or feel different than the other kids. Looking at things through the eyes of a child that would like to eat a piece of birthday cake like everyone else, is a bit different than the adult that is in the same situation. As a parent you do what you can and you feel deeply for your child. You do empower them, but maturity and growth takes time. There is nothing wrong with making an effort to encourage the world to open their eyes to kindness and consideration.,. Especially for children.

 

[EveHarrington]

Or in your world.. the kid will get in trouble for breaking the rules by bringing food because the inst...

I'm cracking up at the idea that a kid is going to be reprimanded for bringing their own food due to dietary restrictions.

What kind of world do you people live in?

LOL.

I'm out. This convo is getting ridiculous to be honest with no basis in reality. It seems like some people just want to argue/must be right. Good luck with this stance in the world. And yeah, I feel bad for your unempowered kids who think the world owes them something.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

And yeah, I feel bad for your unempowered kids who think the world owes them something.

@EveHarrington The above comments, in my opinion, are not only unkind but intended to hurt. Not to mention subversively attacking. I can only wonder if it is you yourself who thinks the world owes you something?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't think it's a fair assessment to put the responsibility on the child to do the job of the adults in charge.

I would have to agree with this.