I have finally bonded with my home. need what you think about this one.

[Gadgie]

Quote.............."think that this so wonderful to hear people on this forum to talk about absolutely love living alone. It is very inspiring."
Aye! I must admit I'm beginning to get used to it as well, I never thought I would. As after my wife passed, I felt totally lost at first, and after spending all those years caring for her seemed to make it even more difficult to adjust.

Yes, I do feel isolated some times, but that seems to happening less often these days. I don't think I could live with another person now, I've become so used to being alone, is that a such bad thing?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

and there's nothing better than achieving something totally on your own merits!...and to do it totally for yourself....now there is the beginning of self love, true self love.

Thank you so much for saying this. I am hoping for this to happen at long last. I never before had this chance to learn how to do this for myself .

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I moved out fully on my own for a first time 3 months ago and I was terrified. (I'm 28 and I always lived with parents, roomates, or boyfriend...never even had a room to myself)
That being said I found a lot of the things the OP said were the case for me as positive sides. And I have also really started feeling at home in my tiny apartment, more than I have ever felt even when living with boyfriend.

Also another one, is that I've learned to fix a lot of things myself. I've always been a tech-y person so internet and so on I've always known how to fix...but I mean things like if your toilet flush breaks or your water is out and so on- how to fix some simpler stuff rather than always calling someone...Of course for more complex ones I would have to call someone...but it's very satisfying managing to paint or fix some stuff around the house yourself.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

And I have also really started feeling at home in my tiny apartment,

I also feel like my apartment is finally home to me now and loving it. I am very happy for you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Aye! I must admit I'm beginning to get used to it as well, I never thought I would. As after my wife passed, I felt totally lost at first, and after spending all those years caring for her seemed to make it even more difficult to adjust.

Thank you so much @Gadgie for speaking up about your adjustment to living alone and liking it.
I am so very happy for you.

Tonight even though I am just one person, I prepared a feast for me for dinner and will be eating it for a while and freeze some too. I am really getting into cooking and baking again. There are so many firsts and do overs that I am doing too.

Really enjoying my own company lately. And I am keeping things cleaner and loving how they stay that way as well.

I have everything the way I need it to be and love that so much too. I have never known this before and it is a brand new experience for me.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Thank you so much @Gadgie for speaking up about your adjustment to living alone and lik...

I totally get that feeling.
When you're suddenly realise, I'm on my own. If I don't take care of myself, no one else will. No one cares if I eat crappy or healthy- and you suddenly realize that you do care. That you have to think more about what you put in your body or on your skin, that it's okay to do something kind and caring for yourself and be proud of it...
Hope this makes sense. At least this is how I felt. Like you're on your own, so you can do whatever- but in the absence of anyone else, it suddenly holds more significance what you do for yourself. There is no one else's actions to hide your choices behind, and so you think a little harder about what you choose exactly.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

There is no one else's actions to hide your choices behind, and so you think a little harder about what you choose

I find this to be so true. I am really getting to know myself so much better without the distraction of another person being around and I think that it has been a really good experience for me. I understand what you are saying and it makes so much sense.

I find also that I am doing better finally in so many different areas of my life. I alone am responsible for me in ways I was not before while living with my family.

Alot of thinking has been happening lately about my own choices and the consequences of them. I do think I am finally getting to know the real me that has been hiding for so many years.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I find this to be so true. I am really getting to know myself so much better without the distraction of an...

Me too! It's tough sometimes, but it's still a wonderful feeling!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think that everyone at some time or another and for a time frame, should be alone with themselves. It's a time for soul searching. Time to find out who you are without the influence of another human being. Finding out what you like, dislike, what you will or won't tolerate, and really just finding out WHO you are and what YOU want from life.

I know many women that are in crappy or abusive relationships, and they stay, even though they have the means to leave. They stay for reasons I couldn't figure out even if they told me, yet they stay. I think it's because being alone is way to frightening for them. To wake up alone, and have only themselves. Yet, if they gave it a try, I'd bet they'd love it after awhile.

Yes, it takes time to adjust, but getting married or dating someone is an adjustment too. Just different.... Anything you commit to is an adjustment. Being alone can be so liberating!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Being alone can be so liberating!!!!!

It only took me two years and this coincided with my daughters temper tanrums and culminated in me feeling more at home here. You see as long as I had the kids visiting me once a month I was still codependently attached to my daughter. Now that I finally detached and was forced into an exile from my family, I only had me and you are so right. Being alone has been very good for me because a lot of things I had given up when my husband was first diagnosed, I had to give up in order to become a full time caregiver. Once he died I was hating living alone and hated where I was living and that started me on my way. It has taken me two years to feel at home and for me to be picking up on interest and things again.

I have so many regrets for giving up so much to become my husbands caregiver and was not myself for a long before he died as I became so burned out by the time he died I was just an empty shell of existing and not really living and I do feel as if I am coming alive again and finding the lost me from so many years ago, when I was not a wife or a mom. I was just me then. But this new me is vastly more interesting and not just a half of a marriage anymore.

I was terrified of living alone by the time my husband died. Not a good place to be. It took me a full year to recover from being so burned out.

 

[Flip flop]

What a wonderful topic!
The joys of not being criticized or nagged, feeling responsible for an irresponsible partner, decreased stress, Peace and quiet, having whatever pets I want, not having to put up with partner's hoarded high school junk papers from thirty years ago, nobody having temper tantrums or violence, can throw out whatever I want, rearrange furniture when and how I want, nobody spending my money whilst they quit job after job, no one using drugs/alcohol,.....the benefits are endless!!!!!
Yay! To heck with dating cuz I do not want to deal with someone else's bullcrap!
Alone but not lonely. Life is good!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Peace and quiet, having whatever pets I want,

decreased stress,

Life is good!

I so agree that all of these things are good to have and to experience living alone.