We are used to reading "PTSD isn't an excuse to behave badly" in the context of relationships, and accept that it can't be used to justify violence and aggression. Yet, isn't that all we do with all the other "symptoms"?
Don't know that excuse making is all we do with the other symptoms, no, but good point about avoidance and procrastination. Depression, anxiety, hopelessness and withdrawing from friends and family are all indicative of someone suffering from avoidance.
Procrastination can take hold on any aspect of life for anybody (it's a habit/behavior issue though yeah it's a symptom of PTSD as well)—putting off cleaning the stove, repairing a leaky roof, seeing a doctor or dentist, submitting a job report or academic assignment or broaching a stressful issue with a partner. Procrastination can lead to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, depression and self-doubt. It's not hard to see how whether it's PTSD style/type avoidance or a habit/behavior of procrastination how negative the impact can be to self, family, friends, coworkers etc. So, yeah, I like where your mind went about avoidance because to me "PTSD isn't an excuse to behave badly" or to explain/excuse my behavior day to day in other areas of my life as best as I am able "at that time" and on a case/task by case/task basis.
I will say too, that to me largely, avoidance and procrastination are synonymous unless the avoidant behavior directly links back to a PTSD stressor or trigger (i.e. avoiding cooking anything on the stove because my abusive parent put my hand on a hot burner and caused injury, etc.) - but there are various ways to adapt to compensate for those often times.
If I avoid getting in the shower, or say to OH that I've been out twice this week and need a quiet day to recover and so don't cook or clean, or use my PTSD to claim sickness benefits, am I not just using PTSD as an excuse for laziness and selfishness?
Quite a broad range between avoiding a shower through to "using" PTSD to claim sickness benefits on the example on the opening post. But my answer is: possibly - any mental or physical chronic debility can become an "excuse" when avoidance or procrastination becomes a behavior... however too, when dealing with chronic mental or physical issues there will be times that tasks just aren't doable.
PTSD or no PTSD in all chronic conditions, both mental or physical, there can be a mindset for varying levels of avoidance/procrastination about self care activities, task completion, and problem solving. The spectrum ranges from straight forward avoidance, all the way through pushing way past the point of certain preferred tasks/activities only to come up short in other less desired areas of life.
The trick is not to allow the incident by incident avoidance/procrastination to settle into a habit and then a maladaptive behavior in as much as possible. To me personally, it is an opportunity to challenge myself on to endeavor to improve to a more consistent level in as much as my varying day to day condition will allow. Which is goal challenges to break old habits and instill new more beneficial ones.
So far as "laziness and selfishness" - those are just two of the feelings that can arise from avoidance or procrastination as I shared above. But so far as PTSD is concerned, there's no need to pick up a big stick and induce guilt/shame/blame for it because it drives the behavior. So, being mindfully aware of your daily condition helps. Being able to assess your mental and physical state and chose tasks accordingly helps. Being able to communicate to your partner or family helps.
am I not just using PTSD as an excuse for laziness and selfishness?
Dunno. Are you? Am I? At times I know I avoid or procrastinate... but many people do that not just PTSD's... so personally, no I don't use PTSD as an excuse to not do tasks. I might have other excuses but typically not that one. Here's some more from wiki:
"Negative coping responses of procrastinating individuals tend to be avoidant or emotional rather than task-oriented or focused on problem-solving. Emotional and avoidant coping is employed to reduce stress (and cognitive dissonance) associated with putting off intended and important personal goals. This option provides immediate pleasure and is consequently very attractive to impulsive procrastinators at their first knowledge of achievable goals. There are several emotion-oriented strategies, similar to Freudian defense mechanisms, coping styles and self-handicapping.
Coping responses of procrastinators include the following:
- Avoidance: Avoiding the location or situation where the task takes place (e.g. a graduate student avoiding driving into the university).
- Denial and trivialization: Pretending that procrastinatory behavior is not actually procrastinating, but rather a task which is more important than the avoided one, or that the essential task that should be done is not of immediate importance.
- Distraction: Engaging or immersing in other behaviors or actions to prevent awareness of the task (e.g. intensive video game playing or web browsing). They are very sensitive to instant gratification and become powerless.
- Descending counterfactuality: Comparing a life situation with others who have it worse (e.g. "Yes, I procrastinated and got a B− in the course, but I didn't fail like one other student did.")
- Valorisation: Pointing in satisfaction to what one achieved in the meantime while one should have been doing something else.
- Blaming: Delusional attributions to external factors, such as rationalizing that the procrastination is due to external forces beyond one's control (e.g. "I'm not procrastinating, but this assignment is tough.")
- Mocking: Using humor to validate one's procrastination. The person uses slapstick or slipshod methods to criticize others' striving towards the goal as funny.
Task- or problem-solving measures are taxing from a procrastinator's outlook. If such measures are pursued, it is less likely the procrastinator would remain a procrastinator. However, pursuing such measures requires actively changing one's behavior or situation to prevent and minimize the re-occurrence of procrastination."
So as you can see from the above, other than "excuse making" to attempt to justify or rationalize avoidance or procrastination there are various other tactics that people can employ.
Okay so here's an article from 2007 that is one of my favorites. It is on Dysfunctional Procrastination however it has a lot to offer and can also be applied to avoidance:
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