Do therapist intentionally trigger us?

[NewBeginnings]

I asked my T if she purposely triggered me during our sessions or if in our talking that we touched upon something and then I would be triggered. I was frustrated because the week prior I left my appt. in a rough place. I had felt triggered and wasn’t very grounded as I left. She was SO quick to respond that no (she did not purposely triggered me) and that We would just be talking and I would be triggered because I am uncomfortable with the conversation.

I used to think she purposely triggered me to see if I would still disocciate. I tend not to dissociate as much or as intensely outside of therapy but during sessions it happens a lot.

Don’t know what to think about all of it. I am not sure that I believe her.

Do T purposely push our buttons and trigger us?

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, my T, whom I no longer see, used to do it. He would though, keep in mind my window of tolerance, so he didn't send me in deep. He would also pull me out again right away.

 

[Teamwork]

I totally think my does but I’ve never thought of it as a trigger. I always see it as probing. He will say words that later on in reflection about it I think he did that for a reaction. What he does with reaction I’m not entirely sure? But I’ve noticed it lately. If I ask him directly about it there isn’t a straight answer.

 

[Butterflies2023]

Had this vision of a cluttered closet we occasionally clean out. It’s easy to pull out those things nearest the edge of the shelf and at arms reach.

It is much harder to reach the clutter on the floor of the closet - way in the back against the corner walls.

I think a good therapist is able to draw out that clutter without us being aware of it happening.

Then we leave that session - maybe a bit miserable but to ponder for a time - mull over - work out ️

 

[Crow]

Mine challenges my limits which sometimes sends me over the edge. But over the years she's gotten better at knowing how far to push and I've gotten better letting her know I'm shutting down. Those challenges have been some of the most pivotal moments of change for me.

 

[Stephernovas]

It somewhat sounds like exposure therapy. Particularly with PTSD, this is a well-known technique some therapists may use. It is important to know what approach your therapists are taking so avoid this type of confusion. I know my therapist and I discuss my trauma, and since it is still a sensitive topic it induces panic along with many other symptoms. Her task is to help expose me to it enough and work to get me to decrease my negative associations to my 'triggers'. Depending on your goals too, if you two have discussed finding out what your triggers are for dissociation, she may very well be trying to help 'test' things. If you have any thoughts abut your treatment, I would directly ask the therapist involved.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I think so, but not beyond what you can handle. If you are dissociating, you are already over the threshold of what you could handle.
I don´t think any good therapist will try to "see if you dissociate". If they do it does not sound like a very good practice.

I dissociate sometimes when I am talking with the therapist, but not because she purposely tried to make me do that. It´s more of a by-product of the conversation - and if I tell her I am dissociating she will change the subject to get me "back".

 

[EveHarrington]

When I read this, I interpret it as “does your therapist intentionally trigger you with the goal of seeing you triggered”.

No, mine does not. I think it would be cruel to trigger just for the sake of seeing a triggered client.

I think that triggering is pretty much a byproduct of working on tough stuff and healing.

So yeah, if you want to heal, you’ve gotta deal with being triggered by your therapist. If your therapy doesn’t trigger you at some point (via dealing with tough stuff), then walk away and never look back as you’re not healing. (Or you’ve already healed to the point of not being triggered in which case this conversation doesn’t apply to you.)

 

[Mach123]

Yeah but she is very clear about it and why. Not real triggering, that would mean a full-blown episode? I mean I've done that to her so she knows what I'm like. I don't believe she'd ever put me in that state intentionally if only because nobody wants to deal with me when I'm like that. Also when she is going slower she has told me at different times that I was not ready to be pushed just then. I think I jump up sometimes and walk back and forth. Often I think about it but I don't get up. I'm on thin ice when that comes into my mind. It's just a feeling I can't see or get close to something.

 

[NightSky]

Mine doesn’t. She does push me when she finds a sensitive area, but over a length of time and with plenty of warning (as in-“we can set this aside, but it will be something we return to in time”). And by pushing I mean probing gently for an answer if I’m being silent and she knows I have thoughts I’m not verbalizing. If she knows she’s approaching a triggery topic she stays extremely attuned and reminds me to breathe, or find objects in the room, or tells me it’s ok to not answer. So I’d say she does the opposite of purposely triggering me. She hugs me sometimes and always asks first and says she knows touch is a trigger and I’m in total control in that area. I agree that leaving sessions with a vulnerability hangover or feeling triggered is par for the course. It’s how you know you’re hitting on important stuff. But triggering to see if you dissociate would be detrimental in my opinion.

 

[MyWillow]

My therapist has only intentionally triggered me in one session. I’d realised after 6 months of therapy that I had huge memory gaps for most of it. I had no idea what dissociation was. And I consider myself pretty well read. So yeah that was a shock.

So she gently flicked me in and out of a dissociative state by changing the conversation: how much I’m valued at work (dissociate) vs training my dogs (and we’re back). So she didn’t go close to anything that would push me to a point of no return. But I finally experienced the going in and coming out which helped me understand the warning signs. And also learnt to signal when it got too much. Usually it’s just BANG. GONE. Can’t hear, speak, see, move or feel.

I still dissociate my way through 90% of my sessions. Normal conversation can trigger me to dissociate and even flashback. I don’t know why. Just talking about being valued at work can still send me spiralling. I still find that weird. Therapist thinks it’s about vulnerability. Who knows.

 

[NewBeginnings]

Depending on your goals too, if you two have discussed finding out what your triggers are for dissociation, she may very well be trying to help 'test' things.

It has seems like this could be so I asked her
And was surprised that she quickly said no and was almost surprised that I thought she was trying to trigger me. But then I started to question if she was being up front with me or not. I have no reason to think she would be misleading me but i became super suspicious of her when I got home.

If you are dissociating, you are already over the threshold of what you could handle

Previously She had mentioned that she needs me to be present to really help me work through challenging topics so given that I do not think she wants me to check out but I did begin to doubt this.

I think that triggering is pretty much a byproduct of working on tough stuff and healing.

It is... As it happens with some things and not others it becomes clear what issues are particularly difficult.

For awhile I used to believe I never “checked out” before therapy but now I realize that I am aware of it and have been doing it for years and didn’t understand what that was.

As time goes on and we talk more I have fewer places to hide and confronted with handling my stuff. Sometimes I can stay present easier than other times - definitely stress and vulnerability influence my ability to stay present.