Dear
@PURUSHA , Idk if this is at all helpful, but IME if I feel intimidated it is often because I don't feel I have the tools to handle another person's demands or behaviours towards me (enforce my boundaries), or I recognize that another's actions are deceitful but I cannot protect others, or I do not feel I am competent in a skill or requirement. However, I've also noticed those who actively 'push' their confidence on to others (ie appear "loudly 'confident' " vs " quietly 'confident' ") often dance a fine line between bullying +/ or my-way-or-runway behaviour, and are actually IMHO, insecure. Like a dog barking, or an animal puffing up it's chest to ward off threat.
If I get that from "them" I don't feel weak
If you truly value them and want to emulate their characteristics, that is ok and your choice.
For me, true confidence is a by-product of integrity and character; a person who can recognize their strengths, but have the confidence to say they don't know; who can feel good about themself without making other 'less than' in their eyes to do so; who is above-board and therefore doesn't need to remember what they've told in lies because they haven't felt a need to; is someone who doesn't do what they 'could' do through power or prestige or position just because they 'could' rather than they 'should'; especially taking in to account the needs and equality of others; and is a person content to live with healthy boundaries and being their true self, regardless of what others' opinions may be.
Those I have known who I would call truly confident, are very aware and desirous of putting all around them at ease, or at the very least do so. I believe because they do not seem to have a need for others' validation, do not have ego, and do not feel neither overly superior nor deficient, and in doing so- putting thoughts out of their mind of their own uneasiness- they can focus on others- but genuinely, it is not a show.
Sort of the paradox, I suppose, of in not needing others' validation or respect they frequently garnishee just that.
But I suppose it's all in the definition, because not all of those people would consider themself confident, they've just set their mind on the task, do what they know to do and how to do it, and don't concern themselves with only focusing on themself- how they are viewed, or what they want, or what others think of them. But that too, to me, is very different from situational confidence, or abuse of power or position. The first is living in a respectful balance to others, the 2nd is focused on self-gain simply because you can.
Just my simple opinion though. :notworthy:
There's a famous idiom, "If you want to be a knight, act like a knight", ie , don't pretend to be, but rather make the choices instead true to that, however you see and define it. Then in time you will become congruent to who and how you want to be- truly. No matter what anyone else thinks.
For me, I will never be confident, that is true to 'me'. However, I just (and can only) 'do' and be 'me'. No one will be me (thankfully ;)) nor will I be someone else. But I'm too busy and too pre-occupied to care about it.
