The So Called Second Session And I No Longer Respect My Therapist

[NarcSis]

Sometimes I wonder if this is actually a therapy technique to test your ability to challenge yourself - I've seen too many people go through this type of thing and I've gone through it before as well. I used to refer to it as frustration therapy, she would frustrate the hell out of me sometimes with wrong appointment times and then when I'd get back in she'd want to discuss it in detail, (my reaction).
I was so mad each time I was seeing red, so I completely understand how you feel, but by the time my next appointment rolled around, I had other issues to deal with and I usually forgot how I had been feeling...or at least, didn't let it get in the way of the relationship.
It may be difficult but write down how it made you feel and then let her know in the next appointment; in order to have a good working relationship, you have to be honest with each other. Remember that honesty does hurt most times too though, but that is what needs to be done.

 

[anni]

Hi,
It's been my own experience that I should listen when my head tells me my therapist isn't 'the one'. It's not a matter of shopping around until someone tells you what you want to hear. I feel it's a matter of whether or not you feel postive about the therapist.

PTSD makes us so reactive and unsure about other people that at the very least we need to be able to completely trust our professionals. It's a good call to go find another one, and I very much respect your strength in being able to do so. The one I finally found, and whom I trusted completely, had to retire. I'm still trying to work up the 'oomph' to go find another one.

Take care,

Anni

 

[Butterlamb]

Sometimes I wonder if this is actually a therapy technique to test your ability to challenge yourself -

I never even thought of this being the case, but if it is, I have definitely realized that not only do I hate when I feel as if I have been let down, but it was the abrupt change in plans that sent me over the edge.

I know that there have been many times where I have found out that there was a change in plans about a split second before the event is supposed to happen and the pure thought of the event no longer being in my control and having no time to think often sends me into a panic. I remember one time in particular when my boyfriend asked if i wanted to go out with him and his friends and he was literally leaving that minute and I panicked. My mind couldn't process the yes/no. The all of a sudden my plans have changed and my mind has to completely rework and reprepare itself for the next task.

If this WAS a test, then i have definitely realized something, and if not, well I'll have something to talk about next tuesday!!!


Also THANK YOU so much everybody for your input. Reading what everyone has written has definitely helped me to look at this situation from an outside source and see that i was slightly over reacting (once again :crazy:)

Thanks a ton everyone :Hug_emoticon:
Butterlamb

 

[Butterlamb]

That's it, this lady is "coo-coo"!!

So today was the "official" second appt and i was still upset from last week (actually i was extremely agitated) Anyways, I didnt want to talk to her and I was really distant, almost got up and left because I was sick of being in the room with her. So then she asks why im upset. So i tell her im still mad from last thursday (and I explain how i was literally sick to my stomach, felt awful and dissociative for the rest of the day) And so then she gets all defensive about it and pretty much brushes off my feelings like it meant nothing!

To make matters worse, she is 3x my age (nothing wrong with that except the fact that she treats me like a child and whispers at me :wall:) and has the mannerisms of a bobblehead dog (ever time i look at her she does the "I'm going to keep bobbing my head to show that i am feaning interest in what you are saying")

So needless to say I highly doubt that I will be returning next tuesday because i do not feel like being patronized and feeling worse off then I already am. ( I felt so exhausted after todays apt that I fell asleep in my class immediately following and then took a 2 1/2 hr nap and slept through lunch)

Almost forgot! She told me AGAIN that she would see me on thursday and so I gave her a look and said "tuesday or thursday" and she said oops my bad again, and then actually wrote down the apt in front of me this time so she wouldn't forget....

Hopefully over Christmas break I can find someone who can actually HELP me.
Butterlamb

 

[Pixie]

I understand the effect this situation has and while I agree that maybe she deserves a second chance, I would also be forever wondering if she would actually remember my next appointment! It would concern me very much if her reaction was as blasé as it sounds because I would hope that as a qualified therapist, she would be skilled enough to know what kind of effect this would have on a client and that a sincere apology was in order.

Pixie

 

[Pixie]

Butterlamb... you responded as I did so I didn't see the update. I think you have made the absolute right choice here. :)

Pixie

 

[Nicky31]

Well, you can now say that you gave it a go, gave her the chance, benefit of the doubt and yourself an opportunity to make it work for you. It hasn't worked out how you would have liked this time, but be proud of your efforts and maturity. I'm glad that you were able to tell her how last week had made you feel. I felt this was very important indeed. She had the chance then to recognise and deal with it and she didn't. That was her choice, not yours, but at least you gave her that choice before backing off. I was thinking about you yesterday, and was hoping that whatever happened it would work out for you in the long run and you would be ok. I'm just wondering whether on reflection you might find anything at all that is positive from this experience, anything learned. I know this has been really tough going and I can understand how you felt so tired. It would be good to take something away from all of this. I'm typing this at work and it won't let me paragraph, but I wanted to make sure you got this, so sorry if it looks messy. Hugs Nic x

 

[anni]

Hi,

I WAS going to reply and say that you should trust your instincts and get another therapist, then read A3A2's post. Wow. It turned my head around and made me see that perhaps I am allowing the PTSD to make me so reactive that I am just not seeing other people clearly anymore. The suggestion that one would take a deep breath, allow someone else to make a human mistake and give it another shot was an entirely new thought! I exist thinking I'm compassionate but obviously have workkkk to do! I joined here to do the hard work and that means genuinely rethinking old and reactive PTSD patterns. Now I must act on learning correct patterns.

You're getting thoughtful and wise advice. Thank you for posting your story here, and a genuine than you to A3A2 and others for the new thought!

Take care,

Anni

 

[anni]

Hi,

When I replied I hadn't seen your most recent post! At least you did give it another chance, but boy it doesn't sound as if she's at all interested in providing therapy!

I hope your next therapist has some insight and compassion and hope you find one soon. You're certainly very strong!

Take care,

Anni