12 steppers (aa, na, oa etc. ...)

[anonymous]

For those of us who have a substance abuse problem and belong to some kind of 12 Step Program, this is a place for us to look at our addiction(s) and our PTSD and how they relate.

My preferred "drug" is food. This may seem trivial to some of you who battle with more addictive things. It is tough for me though, because I do have to eat several times a day. I cannot completely give up my addictive substance. I need it to survive.

Furthermore, a lot of the medications that we are prescribed happen to cause weight gain. It is listed often as a possible side effect. Then too, some of these prescriptions cause weight loss! This is the case less often, but it does happen.

So, I am curious. Does your 12 step program help you? Have you been able to stick with it? What parts of it are difficult to keep up with? What parts are easier? Do you have a Sponsor?

Feel free to use the anonymous option while posting here. No need to let the whole forum know about your addiction(s). This is just a place for us to gather, to share, to help one another, if we can.

Welcome. Be yourself. Let us remember too, that our HP is with us here!

 

[anonymous]

I was forced to go to OA in treatment and it made me worse.

 

[anonymous]

Sorry to hear that. One cannot do these programs under pressure, or because one is forced to go to them. That would defeat the purpose. I am sorry that happened to you. It was incorrect for anyone to make you do that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I hate their touch feely preachy ways. Nope, not for me.

 

[anonymous]

I go to online meetings a lot, that solves the touchy feeling stuff 100%. As to the preachy stuff, HP can be anything or anyone you wish HP to be, so in that sense, one does not have to deal with the preachy stuff that much. I find it sometimes in the online meetings, but a lot of folks have very un-religious beliefs there. In other words, they are not particularly church goers or folks that preach a lot.

I got a great Sponsor too. We just email and snailmail. She lives in another area of the country. She has been very helpful. I did all 12 steps with her. Now I have to fit the upper steps into my daily routine somehow. That is what I am working on now.

 

[anonymous]

Here is a website for those who over$pend. If you have huge credit card debts, check this out. If you are an underearner, if you are having trouble sticking to your budget, if you go for "retail therapy" a lot when life gets tough, or if you just find yourself buying a lot of things that you have no use for, or little use for, this might be for you:

Debtors Anonymous | Meetings, Support Groups, & Programs

 

[Gamereign555]

AA has helped me. I’ve stuck with it for a year and a half. I have a sponsor. The meetings are usually about 150 people. I am fortunate in that I was one of those who didn’t have intense cravings for alcohol before voluntarily joining AA. I haven’t had any alcohol in that entire year and a half.

One thing I like about my meeting is that you get a genuine feel that we aren’t there really so much to talk about alcohol in general usually. We share stories about our lives, our thoughts and feelings, the stuff of human nature. All from the perspective of someone still hopeful (at least enough to bother showing up). People sharing could be depressed or they might be hilarious you just never now.
I would have to say that the easiest part is the meetings. I only get one meeting a week but that seems to suffice and I also look forward to them.

I feel that it is a place where I can go and talk about my problem instead of avoiding it and continuing my past behaviors. We all meet and have this in common. It is a sense of community for me in a class of its own.

The hardest part about this program is definitely the steps. The steps encompass how we should be and what we should do to get there essentially. They are the meat of the 12 step program.

It’s not easy to turn yourself from an addict, into a sober, humble, responsible, accountable, helpful and more selfless recovering addict.

Giving yourself an idea of “God“ is a hard one for many. However, AA has no preconceived notion of what God must be in its exact form, no attached religion, no legendary names, etc. The mere acknowledgment that there is something more powerful than yourself is all that is required.
My guess is that this was designed so that I might give up trying to control everything and manipulating everything in addict ways.

I am not religious type rather a spiritual type. My believes are on a more about the thought that my consciousness is what creates me. It is through my consciousness I will be able to learn, grow, evolve in a positive light I believe. In this sense consciousness itself is more powerful than I am. There are some missing pieces but I’m not concerned with that, I don’t need to know everything. Enlightened thought might not be something I ever accomplish, but that is not the point, it is in the journey. And so the steps show me the way. It works for me.

 

[anonymous]

One thing I like about my meeting is that you get a genuine feel that we aren’t there really so much to talk about alcohol in general usually. We share stories about our lives, our thoughts and feelings, the stuff of human nature. All from the perspective of someone still hopeful...

Yes, I can relate to this. Sure, in OA, we talk about food and eating issues, (including that some folks are Anorexic or Bulimic) but I agree, the real "stuff of life" comes up more often. For me, it is my session between therapy sessions, where I can not only address food issues, but life issues too.

One of the things that I really love is that there is "no cross-talk, no advice giving" and such. No one judges me or anyone else there. We speak our mind, get acknowledged and move on to the next person and their story. Some of the stories are pretty fascinating too. I love it when someone expresses how they have overcome. Usually that is by means of the steps and having a sponsor. "It works if you work it."

I have to admit that some meetings are better than others. Each meeting is "autonomous" so that one can have certain rules that the next at a different location does not. So, if someone had a bad experience at one meeting, find another. You might find that the 2nd one is a perfect fit. Larger cities usually have meetings nearly every day of the week. They are located at all kinds of places. Keep trying, in other words.

 

[anonymous]

Here are some useful links:

http://oa12step4coes.org/

Newcomers - Overeaters Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous

Gamblers Anonymous

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

This last one if for folks who avoid sex and love too, not only those who are addicted to it.

 

[Tracee]

Just my personal thoughts, but I have found in my own experience that 12-step programs are not the place for me. I’m agnostic/atheist for one ... light bulbs and door knobs don’t do the trick either.

I don’t think adopting a paradigm of “powerlessness” is a great idea for trauma victims. Nor is the rigid authoritarian mindset of the “Big Book thumpers” helpful for me personally. Of course, when I attended meetings regularly 15-20 years ago, it was in the South and Texas ... AA meetings there are like “The First Baptist Church of Alcoholics Anonymous”. Dead serious.

Also, in mixed-gender groups, there’s a lot of hitting on people. I had a guy once, who just finished being the speaker for a speaker meeting, talk all about how low-down and sorry he was, has a son on death row in Texas, etc. Then he came over after the meeting, sat down next to me, started fondling my upper thigh, and told me we should get out of here and go back to his place. Uh, I think not! How far did the death-row apple fall from the tree? I have no desire to find out.

I could go on about this topic all day, but I won’t. I would, however, encourage any woman with trauma in her past, who attends AA, NA, or other 12-step programs, to attend women’s meetings only. There are some very ill people there, and you can get hurt if you’re not careful. Caveat emptor.

To clarify ... that includes women-only meetings too, not just mixed-gender. Most of the women I met were really messed up, and there were very few experienced, compassionate ladies to sponsor others not tracking at quite the same level. And for a confirmed agnostic/atheist, forget it. If you don’t believe in God, and you’re not feeling the quite condescending Chapter 4 of the Big Book, written for people like me, and you dare to share anything but happy-happy-joy-joy, now that God has saved my sorry ass and I don’t allow myself to feel my real emotions (i.e. resentment and anger) ...you will be shunned by the group. Just my opinion, though, based on my own personal experience. Your mileage may vary.

 

[Tracee]

And this will probably not be a popular opinion, but any God I could possibly believe in would not allow millions of children to be neglected, abused, raped, starved, etc. in this world every year. Or elderly people to be abused. All these pro-lifers ... they’re all good on month 8, day 29, but after that ... go f*ck yourself. Hungry people ... sux to be you. Homeless people...yes, they are all a bunch of lazy mooches.

And so on and so forth. I’m a bit of an existentialist. I find spirituality in nature. It gives me comfort to know that someday this will all end. We humans are proving to be a Darwinian dead end. Just my opinion, no offense to anyone who believes differently. I’ve always figured, if I’m right, no one will care because we’ll all be dead anyway, and if I’m wrong, I have some awesome friends waiting for me where I’m going