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Having si today

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Dear @Rain it is a heartbreaking & devastating thought to all of us to think you wouldn't be 'here'. :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::(

I know it is torturous re: your daughter, but I don't think she's in a position of sane, rational thought right now. But her demons have to be fought by her, much as it breaks your heart in the process, and you are who loves her most & longest of all :(. I wouldn't be surprised if her rage directed at you isn't fueled by much guilt, knowing in her heart-of-hearts what she's doing in the present, and the danger to her children. But it doesn't mean she can't or won't think differently & get her own help/ healing at some point in the future.

It's ok to be weak we will be strong for you. I am sending much love, many prayers and hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: xoxox
 
I wouldn't be surprised if her rage directed at you isn't fueled by much guilt, knowing in her heart-of-hearts what she's doing in the present, and the danger to her children. But it doesn't mean she can't or won't at some point in the future.

It's ok to be weak we will be strong for you. I am sending much love, many prayers and hugs :hug::hug:

Thank you so much Junebug. You are right. Thank you for the prayers because I need them.:hug::hug:
 
I'm here a bit late because I didn't see this thread earlier..but!

I think I am too big of a threat to her now.
I called the police to do a home health check on her to see if she was okay and that is when she quit speaking to me.
I don't think you are the one she is really angry at, just the safest person to be angry at.

@Rain
I see this entire thread from a different perspective -- I read it as a 911 dispatcher

So here's what I see:
these are the actions of a good and loving mom who cares about her children! Of course you are a threat to her - you are looking out for her. No matter how she tries to push you away you are pushing right back. She knows you are going to keep doing exactly what you are doing -- which is keeping her safe. Shes in a DV relationship with a guy who held a gun to her kids head and shes not coping well. Plus, there are some drug and alcohol issues?

So she isn't thinking clearly - but she is still reaching out and you are RESPONDING! You called the cops to check on her -- which from my point of view is exactly what needed to be done based on the information you had. And since you did it once she knows you will do it again. You will look past her crap and her temper tantrums and do your job: Being her Mother, doing what is necessary to keep her safe, and doing it even though it pisses her off. So she retaliates and keeps the kids away from you. Because you are the one person in her life she can treat like absolute crap and who will still love her.

Now --- Imagine what her life would be like if you weren't there.
 
I see this entire thread from a different perspective -- I read it as a 911 dispatcher

And since you did it once she knows you will do it again. You will look past her crap and her temper tantrums and do your job: Being her Mother, doing what is necessary to keep her safe, and doing it even though it pisses her off. So she retaliates and keeps the kids away from you. Because you are the one person in her life she can treat like absolute crap and who will still love her.

You pack a powerful word punch Freida! Tears are swelling up again. thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. I really needed to see you say these things. Thank you so much.

Now --- Imagine what her life would be like if you weren't there.

A direct hit to my mothers heart and a good one at that. Thank you so very much for being here with me today. Thank you.:hug:
 
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