How to identify traumatic memory from triggers?

[MinGos7]

The trigger is unusual. It's not dogs but I don't want to say what it is.

It's not fear, but it's like interpretation. It's kinda like the user who mentioned they associate snow with blood.

It's like I see a dog but my mind associates it as though it were a rat. I am literally looking a dog and there's no doubt I am seeing a dog, and I can absolutely tell the difference between rats and dogs if you lined up 10 dogs and 10 rats and you asked me which is which, but when I see a dog it's like my mind is afraid it's actually a rat. I don't see the dog any differently, as if I'm imagining it has whiskers or something. It's just a strange symptom where my mind is saying "It's a rat. It's a rat. It's rat. Stay away. It's a rat".

So it's like I'm afraid of dogs but I'm not actually afraid of dogs. I'm afraid of rats. But for some reason, dogs seem to imply rats. I believe that's because of a recent traumatic event that involved rats and dogs in some way I don't really understand.

Limbic memory is considered a kind of "lost" memory according to EMDR. It doesn't get properly processed by the left side of brain. The amgydala just encodes "DANGER. DOG. RAT" and the left side doesn't receive the necessary information to process that correctly ("A rat jumped at me and a dog chased after it. I was really scared"). If I could access that limbic memory, the symptoms would go away. A dog would just be a dog again.

It's like those soldiers which have symptoms that a beeping car or beeping microwave sends their bodies into a panic. For them "beep sound" = "explosion". They know it isn't and if you asked them to listen to both and answer which is which, they'll be able to tell you accurately, but they are still affected by it. That's limbic memory.

When EMDR works, it's because the left brain and right brain are activated at the same time and the limbic memory is finally processed. Limbic symptoms go away because the memory is finally integrated properly. EMDR isn't the only way to achieve this, but it's one method.

So in the Soldier's case. Let's say his trauma was that he was with his friend, he heard a beep and an explosion went off, his face was burnt and his friend died. His limbic memory is the emotions and sensations he felt during that incident that weren't properly processed. The trigger is "beep = explosion". He has PTSD. If he can process that limbic memory, it doesn't change that he'll still feel sad that his friend died, that's normal, but he won't be affected by the limbic memory symptoms anymore.

 

[Justmehere]

Are you doing EMDR therapy with a good therapist?

 

[Muttly]

Yes, I understand how EMDR works and believe I understand now, what you were asking.

The reason I asked about the trigger, and I totally get not wanting to say what it is, is because it seems to me like that's your pathway. I guess, if my trigger were like the dog/rat example I'd be doing a bunch of free-writing. I would be trying to find any and all dog/rat associations because one of those associations could be the next step down the path to towards deeper understanding and processing. Does that make sense?

Having said that. Pushing ourselves to go too fast, can often have the opposite effect. If you find a way to tap into that raw emotion, that occurred with the original trauma, are you prepared to deal with that?

 

[MinGos7]

Are you doing EMDR therapy with a good therapist?

I've been looking into finding one. I've been trying certain somatic therapies first. Which have been beneficial but not for this limbic issue.

If you find a way to tap into that raw emotion, that occurred with the original trauma, are you prepare...

Free-writing is a good idea. I'll try that.

I'm prepared to deal with the raw emotion of the original trauma. Absolutely.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

I'm prepared to deal with the raw emotion of the original trauma. Absolutely.

I thought and believed I was, and it took another four years before the truth behind the blood and the snow started to become known. I'm still dealing with memories around those two things I thought I saw on the day. It's now been twelve years since I first "saw" those two things together. So I guess it takes however long it takes.

 

[Mach123]

I became obsessed with dogs awhile ago on the beach where I live. I actually gave up running on the beach and joined a gym to avoid the issue because my feelings were so overwhelming I was afraid I was going to do something crazy. I was actually at the point when someone's hound from hell came charging at me across the beach I wanted to pull out a pistol and start waving it around. I went over this in my mind so much and I felt totally justified because when the dog is charging you down near low water and there are not many people around the dog could maul be before anyone could stop it. It was so bad I was convinced I was actually attracting this into my experience. Lots of times the run was ruined before I even started because of obsessing about it. There is a leash law and the dogs are not supposed to be off the leash. I saw a couple loose dogs on the beach the other day I was in the car and the feeling came over me again. I wanted to get out of the car and start yelling the dogs needed to be on the leash or call the cops. I don't know about others but these feelings are well outside the range of anything that could be considered normal.

There is no doubt in my mind those feelings are tied to my trauma. It's one of those things I can't stop. (Meaning something is happening to me or someone is doing something to me I want to make it stop.) I feel limp and weak. I want to fight back but I can't. I'm left with impotent rage. This is one example only but a very common theme for me. It's just the trauma over and over. It's a repetitive pattern it happens all the time. It governs me in many ways. I'm better at avoiding these situations now. I change my thinking. I could talk about how it's a sexual issue but it would be mostly speculation because I have repressed memories still. This was how I identified with this thread when I read it. There are many many more examples. Everyone feels this to a certain extent but I'm talking about trauma. Maybe it's a matter of degrees. People who have narcissistic injury and stored trauma are not like others. The memory/feelings overwhelm me and the world sort of fades out. Like when you are driving and forget where you are even though you go that way all the time.

 

[Justmehere]

If your goal is to uncover repressed memories, there isn’t a scientifically proven reliable way to do that. I actually repressed a traumatic event in adulthood I desperately needed to recall, for a really serious reason, more than just my own recovery. I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to do it. There are a handful of controversial therapies such as Ericksonian relaxation, aka hypnosis, regressive work, etc. Nothing I’d actually recommend anyone try. I know some do, and it’s up to them to weigh out the real risks. And there are real risks to the degree most professional associations ban such therapies.

There simply isn’t a reliable trustworthy step by step process to go from trigger to uncovering a repressed memory.

If you give it a go, proceed carefully. It’s like the saying goes, “never tear down a fence unless you know why it was put up.”

What many trauma therapists do is actually work on overall safety, processing triggers, and reducing symptoms... and sometimes through that work, the defense mechanism of dissociative amnesia lifts because it isn’t needed anymore, and the brain then recalls what happened. Because the brain doesn’t need to forget anymore to cope with the pain.

If you are trying to process what’s held in the body, and to reduce symptoms, that’s a different matter. One doesn’t have to remember the trauma to even do EMDR to work through a fear of dogs or rats. You just have to be able to touch into the fear of the dogs.

There are a handful of other tried and tested therapies out there that may end up allowing things to surface too. The memory from adulthood that I repressed eventually came back after a few years of being safe and learning how to tolerate distress. It just did. I didn’t try to force it, but instead the defense mechanism melted away. Ah, it wrecked me when it did, but it came back when I was ready and able to handle it.

The fact that it’s not surfacing now is a good sign your brain doesn’t feel ready to face it.

I hope you connect with a good EMDR therapist soon, because they can help considerably to work through all of this.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I fully understand your desire to know. I spent 25 years wondering why I couldn’t handle people and stuff touching my neck. Sometimes I would shrug it off or just full out push the person off of me. Once late onset ptsd hit, the neck trigger seemed to get worse and worse. That flashback revealed itself to me on its own terms and it fully sucked. Didn’t get any relief in knowing. Now some other trauma memories have entered the scene via emdr. This time, the trauma was attached to some concrete memories and that “fence” @Justmehere speaks of, I wish it had been made of stronger material.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

This time, the trauma was attached to some concrete memories and that “fence” @Justmehere speaks of, I wish it had been made of stronger material.

Oh yeah, at times now I wish that fence was made of something impenetrable.