Anybody else wonder what now?

[Rumors]

I don’t want to sound ungrateful but as symptoms ease and as things get worked out and the chaos starts to slow, has anyone else kind of wondered what happens next? I mean my life has ALWAYS been so chaotic and I have always lived in this hypervigilant state where I am always on the look out for what is coming next. So, seemingly things are starting to get better and I am grateful beyond words but I don’t know how life works when it isn’t chaotic and it makes me kind of panic! Anyone else feel that way?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes I am exactly like that. If things are calm, I’m nervous. Reiki has been so therapeutic for me in this respect.,I can actually sit and quiet my mind and meditate. If I’m on the table for a session I can feel my body go from feeling like I’m floating and fragmented to completely grounded on the table. I can really feel my body connected to the Earth. It’s so relaxing. But, I have a feeling I’ll always be hyper vigilant. I’m working on that and trying not to be so phobic about walking down the lonely street.

 

[CT_Girl]

Yes when things are "calm" I try to plan for how I will handle things when they are not calm. For example I get caught up on chores and try to save some money.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yep!

I started feeling stable when I started new meds a few months ago. With the stability came an incredibly uneasy feeling. What is this?!? Well my meds were doses too high so I then went a bit numb and couldn’t feel the uneasiness of stability. My meds were dropped down a bit so now I’m able to actually feel the uneasiness again. It’s an agitation all of its own. Hopefully I’ll get used to it.

What now?

Am I actually going to be more consistent with work? With relationships? Can I start planning more for the future and put those plans in motion?

 

[ladee]

Now we live the life we missed.

 

[Rumors]

Now we live the life we missed.

But what does that look like? I mean it has ALWAYS been chaos in my life. My parents were chaos growing up. I am just not sure what that looks like really. I am going to have to go to yoga or something.

Yep!
I started feeling stable when I started new meds a few months ago. With the stability came...

I hope you are able to find what that looks like for you. It's not easy. I feel like I have been fist fighting my whole life and the fist fight is almost over... I only know how to fist fight. I don't have other skills.. am I setting myself up for failure? I dunno.. I am uneasy as well and don't want to crash.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I went through this to. You have to learn that chaos isn’t really living healthy. It’s about learning a different way to live without the chaos. It takes awhile but it can be done. When I first went through this, I would even create shit, just so I could function, because it was all so strange without the chaos.

It’s soooo much better without it though....

 

[Rumors]

I went through this to. You have to learn that chaos isn’t really living healthy. It’s about learni...

Fortunately, I still have "some" shit bc I am married to a guy that is nothing but chaos and can't be happy unless there is some ensuing argument with someone going on. However, I find myself moving away from him emotionally bc I can't deal with all the drama.
I am going to have to be mindful that things are changing. My body and mind are just so accustomed to being in fight mode.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think crisis is familiar, and self-fulfilling prophesies when one is used to or lives feeling flight (or fight).

@Rumors maybe you can teach him what peace feels like?

 

[Rumors]

No not possible. He isn’t wired that way at all.

 

[saraemerald]

I don’t want to sound ungrateful but as symptoms ease and as things get worked out and the chaos start...

Can totally relate. Make sure you have good people and support around you to get you through this point and on to better things. Take it easy and figure out what you want to do with your life now. It's an open canvas. Be happy for yourself to be in this better place in life and surround yourself with people who are happy for you! ☺

 

[Deleted member 541]

If hubby won’t or can’t change, then you will need patience and very strong boundaries.....