DID What made you realize you had a dissociative disorder

[klohwee]

Not look for a diagnosis just want to know if other people have similar experiences.

 

[ChanandlerBong]

I didn’t know until I went to treatment and they explained my ‘spacing out’ and losing track of time was a way of my body coping. I would daydream a lot and I’d have people waving their hands in my face to get my attention. A lot of times I just felt so disconnected and just out of body. It is different for everyone and there are literally a bunch of symptoms for dissociation

 

[whiteraven]

Hm...interesting question. I knew a long time ago that I had different parts. Then, I went to a retreat with a large group of Jewish folks (I am not Jewish) and I discovered that I could not only understand Hebrew/Aramaic, but I could speak it. I became more and more depressed after the retreat and more anxious and started losing time. I went to therapy for the depression and started dissociating regularly during sessions. Finally, a couple of my insiders presented themselves and...well, the rest is history.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I suspected it for years.

But the tipping point? "Waking up" in weird places and having no idea why I was there ....

 

[whiteraven]

I suspected it for years.

But the tipping point? "Waking up" in weird places and having no idea why I was there ....

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. One of my insiders drove to a city 6 hours away then decided she didn't want to drive home.

 

[Muttly]

I knew I had parts but didn't know that it was DID. I thought it was just... roles I played. I don't know if that makes any sense. I had started therapy for depression and was getting better at being self-aware. I was becoming more aware of all the inside voices.

Around that same time, I was trying to check up on an online friend I hadn't heard from. I was worried about her because I knew she had suicidal thoughts. She posted on a variety of use-groups so I found her name in a DID group. I didn't even know what it was. I started reading posts and felt so connected. I posted their and said I was just saying hello but didn't have DID and did they mind if I hung out a bit.

Then my dog died. I loved that dog so much and he was my rock. And an insider (a little one) would not stop crying. We could hear her She just wouldn't shut up. And it all clicked.

We still tended to disbelieve since we hadn't been officially diagnosed (that came later, with our new, good T).

 

[shimmerz]

Pretty certain I have been dissociating all of my life. At the age of 47 I went into T-docs office and he caught me dissociating (probably did it on purpose). With sweeping gestures and a loud voice that said 'THERE - that is you dissociating', it scared the shit out of me, but from there I worked on controlling it.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I found out when my therapist told me. I couldn't remember a lot of sessions, and he said that I talked and acted like a 3 year old in when I talked about that time. I was horrified! I didn't believe him, because (pardon me for this thought please) I didn't believe in DID. I became aware of the 3 year old self, and I asked him if I had DID. He said my brain was set up for it, but since I was aware of my alter (s), I don't have it. I'm high on the dissociative scale. I spent most of my life daydreaming instead of living. I used to get upset when someone interrupted my daydreams with real life. I don't think about it and my last therapist never got close enough to recognize it, but the other day I called my mom and she didn't know who I was. She said I sounded like a 3 year old. Yuck. I can't handle this, sorry,

 

[Noise]

I figured it out pretty young cause I'd keep forgetting that I went to school or I'd get upset that I missed a class/recess. So I knew I was losing time by the time I was like 11. And I had "imaginary friends"... people would tell me I was acting strange and I'd always be like that kinda sounds like my friend but I didn't understand dissociation was a thing so I was like this must be normal???

But I figured it out around the time I turned 15 cause I was getting in trouble for stuff I didn't do. one time I lost entire week of my life. And I kept waking up in weird places.

I found out it was called DID when I became an adult though.

 

[Sideways]

It was only about 4 years ago. My T said, “Of course you know you have DID...right?”

Oh! So...this isn’t normal...???:confused:

No, Sideways. Believing you’re 4 years old and wandering off from hospital to play on the swings, then having no memory of how you got there? Not. Normal.

Hmm, awkward.:oops:

 

[solar]

12 years ago I looked up reasons why I was supposedly doing things with no memory and I came upon dissociative disorders. All throughout my teen years and even as a child I was always told i did things that I had no recollection of. It was just another incident of that which caused me to start looking up possible reasons for it. I never really thought about it much but strange things kept happening. I had several therapists since then tell me I have DP/DR and possible DID.

 

[MyWillow]

I don't have an official diagnosis - not very helpful in my situation as I pay privately for therapy. Plus I freaking hate the idea of being diagnosed.

But I've been seeing a T for 18 months, initially for pain management after several accidents. At the end of 6 months I realised I had soooo many gaps in session - apparently every time my T brought up my childhood - I'd lost quite a bit of time and confessed to my T. I didn't even know what dissociation was. Now I realise I have big gaps in my childhood - it's just a shambles and I can't remember one Christmas or Birthday. In session I've had dissociative flashbacks with no memory and some co-conscious moments that totally do my head in. So yeah, I'm feeling rather all over the place at the moment.