Does anyone else literally get triggered by grounding shit

[Weemie]

my new T and i have figured out that when im having issues making me do like, 'grounding exercises' only exacerbates my symptoms & makes things 100x worse. i cant deal with living inside my body or 'noticing my body reactions' or w/e. i cant stand ppl telling me what to do. 'oh name 5 things in the room.' im like CAHHHHHHH-RIINNNNNNNNNGE the whole time, gritting my teeth, on edge. dont f*cking tell me what im supposed to do and see. >:c urgh. i mean its supposed to be the like, gold standard of treatment so im not trying to be like oh its useless or w/e. its just so f*cking difficult to engage with, its like a skill set that ur supposed to develop after youve had like a hundred other advances in how to manage distress tolerance that i dont actually have access to. blee bleh.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you ground yourself?

I mean be self motivated to ground?

It sounds like the problem is being told what to do as opposed to grounding itself.

I can’t do the checking in with myself stuff. Mindfulness, ugh. Yoga, blech.

But, I can do other things.

Hugs.

 

[Sideways]

I go to a group therapy program specifically for trauma, and when you walk into the room, the first thing you notice is that the tables are all lined with a diverse array of what are essentially small toys.

Fidget spinners, origami paper, playdoh/putty, stones, spirally toys. All types, all different olours, all different textures, smells. All pretty cheaply picked up at the local toystore.

Pretty much everyone in the group will pick up something (most people have a favourite) at some point during the group, and just sit there messing around with this thing in their hands. It’s a way that we’re encouraged to just take a mental pause from the content whenever we need, and just focus on that fun, little distracting thing in our hands.

Technically, it’s a type of grounding technique. But because we’re all trauma patients, the concept of asking a whole room of us to notice our bodies? Would be a disaster. We get a trigger warning at the start of group if we’re even going to be asked to do a breathing exercise at some point. Because yeah, we tend to freak out at that stuff!

Abandon the rules. Grounding is essentially anything you can do that is going to focus your mind and attention on that thing. It absolutely doesn’t have to fit the examples given by others, it can be anything. Lots of people I know carry a stone or fidget spinner in their pocket. And they basically just stop and fiddle with it when their distress is elevating. Whenever they want.

If you can find something that kind of takes your fancy like that? You could try just pulling it out every so often (when you decide, not when someone tells you), and distracting yourself with that toy/object/whatever.

Grounding as a concept doesn’t have to conform to rules. And the examples you often come across are just as much mindfulness as grounding, but grounding doesn’t need to be nearly as effortful or distressing as mindfulness often is. That “name 5 things” exercise? Is as much mindfulness as grounding.

So simplify. Grounding is whatever you can find that you can focus your attention on for a few moments in a calm way. And the options for that? Are limitless. Being able to ‘tune out’ from the intensity of a therapy session or intense conversation is a helpful tool to have, but it definitely doesn’t need to happen in a way that conforms to any rules.

 

[Enaila]

@Sideways stated grounding perfectly. I absolutely HATE talking when I need to ground. I have learned to listen for a sound which seems out of place in the flashback I am having or a sound which is annoying such as the T clock ticking. My T will hand me a fidget object, always something smooth or soft, to hold and pick at when I start to struggle. I have a tendency to scratch with anything in my hand when starting to feel flashback starting as a way to try to get my mind focused on something I can feel which is real rather than the memory. I go completely still, I am told, when in a flashback.

 

[Sideways]

or a sound which is annoying such as the T clock ticking.

So true! My go-to? Is the fire escape map on the wall, that has a big red dotbthat says “You are here”. Indeed, I am. So I tune out and just focus on the stupid fire eacape map!!

 

[Enaila]

I like the idea of focusing on something which says, "You are here." What a perfect reminder!

 

[Suzetig]

I have trouble staying with the any kind of guided meditation (think of 5 things etc), and mindfulness doesn’t help me much at all. What does help is having a nicely scented hand cream that I can use when I’m about to “go”, the motion of rubbing it in coupled with the scent help bring me back to myself. I’ll also drink some very cold water if possible.

The grounding stuff you describe is far from “gold standard”, it just a straightforward exercise that people have got hold off and use as a first stop. Gold standard is whatever works best for you.

 

[Gs172003]

I have found that grounding is very personal. What works for you may not work for somebody/anybody else. I like certain smells/tastes/songs/sounds and not always the same ones. Depends on what im dealing with at the time.

 

[Weemie]

its funny you guys mention you are here, thats the name of my diary on this place haa. i remember when i first started going to t i would zone out to the, like, she had this poster on the wall of a brain so i'd just name all the parts of the brain i could find. but this shit with like, being like 'oh LR are you ~*~*here~*~*~ can u ~*~*notice ur body~*~*' im like buddy i will hurt you. its interesting too that apparently this is common bc it seemed to stymie my t entirely, i remember when i was IP we used to have yoga and i would get put on hold bc i refused to do yoga, i could not deal with doing the positions and focusing on f*cking breathing and shit. wtf is meditation???? like 'close your eyes and imagine you are a rock floating down into the center of a lake.' ok first of all let me just stop you at close your eyes cuz that sure as heck aint happening. :roflmao:

 

[littleoc]

I like meditation if I'm alone! In a group? Yeah, no, not closing my eyes :P

I used to be unable to even move if someone asked me to. Now I can focus on my body just a bit. It took practice and was helpful. But I didn't force it, didn't even focus on it. :) Practiced other things instead. Being unable to handle thinking of yourself is something you can work on in itself -- but as for grounding, reading a brain poster will do fine!

 

[Friday]

I’m ADHD. Mindfulness stuff? Like the 5 things routine? Are things I have to actively work against. I’m already aware of waaaaaay too many things going on. Adding more is a quick way to send me into a meltdown. I have to narrow my focus, not expand it. Especially when I’m already adding on the past onto the present. So I usually use sensory tricks and movement. Some of my favs combine both. Like gravity sports (pay attention or the ground is going to reach up and smack me!). Doesn’t work too well in an office setting. Intermissions, do, though. Ie get up and go for a quick walk/run to pull my head out & come back.

 

[ms spock]

I really struggle with grounding, and grounding exercises, it certainly triggers me off, so I have had to do tiny little things from a sideways point of view to manage to even do a tiny bit of grounding. It is really, really hard. Almost impossible for me. I suffer from chronic pain, and if I didn't have that I would never notice my body.

MIndfulness does work for me, but I had to read the research and do so much work to work out a Mindfulness for me. Mindfulness is dangerous for traumatised people because it can get you set up in a panic loop. You have to find out what actually works for you. It was a hell of a f*cking journey for me to find that out, and it almost cost me my life.

i ok first of all let me just stop you at close your eyes cuz that sure as heck aint happening.

I have found it impossible to come out of hypervigilance, it is tough going! This is a major challenge that I am currently working on.