ED Disordered eating

[ms spock]

I am having challenges but have given myself the day off!

 

[ms spock]

So I have to find the difference between restriction, comfort eating, eating an excess meal and binge eating. I need to get clearer on all that.

I didn't have an end point so that was an issue.

I need to give myself love, so food is food and not love.

 

[ms spock]

This is quite the conundrum.

 

[ms spock]

Okay so it hasn't gone well wth my eating, but no where as much as I used to around family!

 

[ninja]

It is tricky.
I think it is a big insight you had about not giving yourself an end point (or places to land and ease off of the need to continually make improvements). It is possibly intimidating to fix it all for all of the time, as it can require a lot of focus to work through this stuff.
Only an idea (to give some parameters to the restriction which seems to often underpin overeating in its many forms): Maybe whilst around family eating well for half of the time is enough. . or a day, or however long is for sure doable for you. The rest of the time it is okay to set a lower expectation.
With you.:)

 

[ms spock]

I hope that you are starting to get better!

 

[ninja]

Assuming you mean me, thank you @Disco Dancing Queen . If not, I will quietly go hide my face in a corner. :bag::hug:
Yes, I am doing better lately through finding a way of eating that seems to be working for me. And slowly picking apart the relationship with food and my body while actually making real changes to get to a realistic and healthy place with my body where I feel like me. [FWIW, for now what seems to be working is two days of lower calorie eating then one day of no restriction. In this way I challenge both the overeating and the restriction as well as any inflexibility around change with food.]

 

[ms spock]

I really didn't do so well last night, and the night before, it was really too much eating that I did. I had triple food for the day. But last night I consciously did it. I consciously self soothed with food. So my awareness is growing in each arena. It is not the best and not the worst.

It is tricky.

Hell yes!

Maybe whilst around family eating well for half of the time is enough. . or a day, or however long is for sure doable for you.

That is what I did go for. I did really well. I just had two many other stressful things on at the same time, so I had two or three meals with stressful situations, and it was too much.

The rest of the time it is okay to set a lower expectation.
With you.:)

Hell yes. I fell apart when I saw one of my friends, I was so worried about her. I also just had too much on. But I got through, and that is the main thing.

 

[ms spock]

I didn't want to deal with this morning. It is hard.

I am so hard on myself, and I didn't realise that this is such a thing. I have so much corrosive self hatred towards myself. I am so judgemental and harsh on myself. I will need to address this to make any movements forwards. I will need to learn self care and self love. I don't think it is possible.

 

[ms spock]

So all I want to do is eat. So I let myself have a little tasty snack. And really I am so tired, so I had a bath, and now I might go and watch some comedians like Samantha Bee and John Oliver to laugh and rest. I might have a nap. I don't know. I probably should go walking or something but after the last three days. It was huge what I did during the last three days. I saw so many people and travelled so far.

 

[ninja]

And so begins the challenge for those of us who struggle to rest/relax, to figure out how? Here is hoping the humor can help to offload some of the overwhelm and stress and that food becomes less front and center. (I don't know what I would do without humor.)
And it is tricky, really tricky, to figure out how to be kind and gentle while also still firm when needed. That is a hard balance to strike. As well as going against the grain of how we are used to and want to cope with difficulties, in balanced enough measure with allowing some comfort from those previous coping skills.
Take excellent care, and if you find you do want to move around a bit there's always going on a short walk.
You can do this. Sending a candle to your friend.

 

[ms spock]

Well I ended up doing lost parrot stuff, and that takes a lot of effort and time. It was a distraction. So that is good.