Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

[ms spock]

I totally relate to what you are typing about @celeste!

I am willing to change and play my instrument much more to get myself much more in the present. It is a work in progress @celeste. The patterns are fighting back with a vengeance at the moment.

This, along with my disordered eating has really assisted me in not actually being present in the world. It helped me be very numbed out, depersonalised, derealised, and dissociated.

 

[glass frog]

I totally relate to what you are typing about @celeste!

I am willing to...

I definitely understand! I feel the same way with disordered eating as well, it can draw all my attention until I'm in another world and unable to focus on anything important. Playing your instrument sounds like a good plan, I hope it helps some!

 

[ms spock]

So this is the new frontier that I need to get on top of, wow, it is tough going. I so easily and quickly slide off into fantasy world, and I can have conversations in this now, whilst having conversations in my other world/s. So this is the next thing to get on top of, along with the obsessive thinking, ruminations, but that is all part of the maladaptive daydreaming, but I am breaking it all down to work on.

I am changing profoundly, and I don't want to have to keep on doing this work, it feels unfair, that I have worked so hard, and yet have to work so hard again, and even more, in other ways! But the good thing is that I am not giving up, I am still doing the work.

 

[ms spock]

Wow the bounceback on this one was huge! I ended up totally dissociating and losing my way, if I hadn't left so early I would hvae missed my appointment. I just went totally the wrong way.

 

[ms spock]

This is a such a massive thing. Now I am not living in a food coma, or so sedated by the medication I am realising what a humungus issue this is for me! It is more of a problem than I ever understood or imagined.

 

[ms spock]

So this is a massive nightmare. It is such an overwhelming part of my life, either I am in maladaptive daydreaming, or eating or dissociated or derealised or depersonalised - I am never in my own life. Now I am doing all these things a lot less but really it is amazing that I get the very little that I do get done done. I can't go by a moment without slipping back into the maladaptive daydreaming.

 

[littleoc]

So this is a massive nightmare. It is such an overwhelming part of my life, either I am in m...

It becomes a strong habit fast. Maybe practice staying in the moment for two minutes at a time? Even if it fails one minute in, congratulate yourself

 

[ms spock]

It becomes a strong habit fast. Maybe practice staying in the moment for two minutes at a time?

But I could work on doing 15 seconds at a time I think. I am at the really beginning level of this one. It feels like too much work, but I will do it.

 

[littleoc]

But I could work on doing 15 seconds at a time I think. I am at the really beginning level o...

I feel you. It gets easier.

I found some hobbies that allow me to do it safely and at certain times and not at others, such as writing or painting. Hiking helps me stay in the moment, as well as socializing with friends. Maybe you should explore those options, too?

 

[ms spock]

They are great suggestions @littleoc, being with people was a trigger for me, and slowly, slowly, slowly I am managing to be in my body around them!

 

[littleoc]

They are great suggestions @littleoc, being with people was a trigger for...

That's awesome!

Maybe try a puzzle game, too? Then you could ignore the people thing if necessary :) I have one on my phone that was free. They don't require payment unless you want more puzzles, but they start you off with over 60 of them and you can reuse them and set the difficulty. I use it to calm me down after triggers because it requires attention and logical thinking -- which could also pull me out of a day of daydreaming if I tried!

I frequently just let it happen, though, especially if I'm stressed. That week of studying I did to earn my degree had at least several hours a day total of me drifting off into elaborate daydreams. The night before I got home I did it on purpose to exhaust myself so I wouldn't have to deal with knowing I'd be moving back into a garbage dump in a house. I force myself to concentrate when necessary and sometimes it works pretty well :)

 

[ms spock]

I really hope to head towards your direction @littleoc.

I had a psychologist latch onto me and she sabotaged and abused my creativity so none of that is safe anymore.

Games are good. I am gamifying my exercise, trying to lift that up a bit more.