Am i really having flashbacks?

[bsmiles123]

I am new to my PTSD diagnosis. Not the symptoms and struggles that come with it, but the knowledge of what exactly is happening to me. I used to think it was just sever anxiety-with the hyperarousal and racing heart and panic attacks. I thought it was depression-isolating myself and not getting out of bed or cleaning myself for days. The I thought it was OCD- hypervigilance with locking doors and cars, paranoia, intrusive thoughts, and recurring thoughts. Once I was told it was PTSD I denied it because I thought I wasn't having flashbacks. I don't completely lose awareness of my surroundings, but I do think about things on a loop, space out, miss out on parts of conversations, and am always reminded of the past in certain situations. I'm pretty sure I dissociate too because I feel like I'm in the back of my own mind watching someone else control my body when I can't deal.

Does this make sense? Do I sound crazy?

 

[Sweetleaf]

I'm pretty sure I dissociate too because I feel like I'm in the back of my own mind watching someone else control my body when I can't deal.

That happens to me, too. As does a whole lot of what you said.

Sounds like regular stuff to happen to someone with PTSD.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, Are you familiar with PTSD criteria? Flashbacks aren’t required for a ptsd diagnosis. Hugs.

 

[Friday]

Not everyone has all symtoms.

Intrusion symptoms, CriterionB, only requires 1. And you’ve got at least 3 with the disassociation & distressing memories & distress at internal or external cues.

B. Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred:

1. Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s) Note: In children older than 6 years, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the traumatic event(s) are expressed.
2. Recurrent distressing dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the traumatic event(s). Note:In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.
3. Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic event(s) were recurring. (Such reactions may occur on a continuum, with the most extreme expression being a complete loss of awareness of present surroundings.) Note: In children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur in play.
4. Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).
5. Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).

Diagnostic Criteria for 309.81 (F43.10) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/ptsd-diagnosis.87466/

 

[Swift]

You don't sound crazy at all.
And yeah, what everyone else said about not needing to have flashbacks to fit PTSD.
It is possible to have both PTSD and OCD though, linked or unlinked.
Defs sounds like you've got dissociative symptoms.
Before I got my PTSD diagnosis I thought I might've had schizophrenia because the flashbacks were so, so intense, and I'd never heard of dissociation. I was so relieved when I got my diagnosis. Not that there's anything wrong with having any mental illness, just that the diagnosis fit and the symptoms were treatable.
My flashbacks tend to be pretty immersive experiences. Ever played Super Mario when he jumps down the pipe and is in a different world? I get some that are like that.
Sometimes I'll get triggered and freeze up/feel/see/hear things from the time period, but I worked on that so I'm able not to go into a full-on flashback.
It really did get better for me.
Hope it does for you too.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I was so relieved when I got my diagnosis. Not that there's anything wrong with having any mental illness, just that the diagnosis fit and the symptoms were treatable.

Yesss same thing here.

I was recovering from my psychotic episode (caused by trauma), and was like "oh f*ck I probably have schizophrenia or some psychotic disorder" because I wasn't returning to "normal" afterwards. I had all these symptoms and no explanation. When I found out I had PTSD, and the symptoms I was having were just PTSD, I was like "oh thank god it's just PTSD and not schizophrenia or something"

 

[Nessa7]

Everything you have described fits the diagnosis. Flashbacks can take different forms. For a lot of people, they don't match the stereotype that we learn from the media.

 

[bsmiles123]

Hi, Are you familiar with PTSD criteria? Flashbacks aren’t required for a ptsd diagnosis. Hugs....

Thank you! I didn't know that. It helps.

Not everyone has all symtoms.

Intrusion symptoms, CriterionB, only requires 1. And you’ve got at leas...

That link was super helpful, thank you. I just tend to doubt that I'm "sick enough" to have a legitimate excuse for struggling in life.

Yesss same thing here.

I was recovering from my psychotic episode (caused by trauma), and was like "...

So true. I was first diagnosed with OCD and I just didn't feel right about it. I felt there was more going on. But I thought "PTSD is way to serious for me to have." Both of my parents who are veterans have PTSD and I felt like it was almost a disservice to them to even think I had something similar. But being raised in the military can definitely mindf*@# you. (Excuse my language)

You don't sound crazy at all.
And yeah, what everyone else said about not needing to have flashbacks to...

That all makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry you've experienced that, but I'm grateful you understand and shared. You're not alone either!