Confusing therapy appointment

[azure]

So I just had a very confusing appointment..I told my T that today wasn't a good day for me..anxiety,unfocused etc...she tells me to find a class or something to schedule as a routine..she says perhaps I have to much unstructured time...well hell I don't know from one day to the next if I'll have my self together enough to go out in public!!! and I'm supposed to let these feelings come up and FEEL them...well they rear their ugly head at the craziest times!! I just want to shut down have a few drinks and zone out with netflix..this is why I don't like people..everyone pushes you away eventually..better not to hope someone will listen and actually care...does this ever happen to anyone else?

 

[EveHarrington]

Who is pushing you away?

 

[Justmehere]

The more you have ways to tolerate distress, the more you will be able to feel stuff and work it through. One of the ways to tolerate distress is to have healthy distractions.

A class is actually a great suggestion to connect with others around an activity. It could be a good place to practice working on interpersonal skills that your therapist can help you learn.

It is hard when people do leave... but maybe now with the help of your therapist and learning new skills, that won’t happen as much. By taking a class, you’ll at least learn something new.

 

[azure]

Who is pushing you away?

I feel like my T is. Not hearing me helping me today. It was like she was sick of me. And just go do something then you’ll be fine

 

[Suzetig]

Did she actually say “go do something and you’ll be fine”? The reality is that having something planned in our day is a good way to keep some level of functioning. Having a class or voluntary job to commit to can give us a reason to get out of bed, manage our moods and regulate our feelings even if just for a little while.

I very much doubt she is actually pushing you away, though I get that’s how it feels.

 

[EveHarrington]

Maybe having something scheduled in your day would help with symptom management? You’d have a built in goal of attending a class. You can try your best to go, but if you can’t, it’s no big deal. What matters is that you’re trying.

I don’t think any of us would do anything if we always waited until we were perfectly fine to do things. It’s about pushing ourselves forward to see what our limits are.

I hope you decide to not drink as alcohol can make symptoms worse.

 

[azure]

thnaks for all of your input...I'm just having trouble ..even the thought of being social with others is exhausting, terrifying..that's the reality...I get that oh getting out and going and doing and being is "good for you"...right now the world is a scary place...therapy has brought all of that crap back up...feeling scared, vulnerable and all alone..

 

[EveHarrington]

What about a class where socialization is minimal? Maybe find a lecture on a subject you are interested in, and then duck out before the end if you’re not up to talking to people?

 

[azure]

What about a class where socialization is minimal? Maybe find a lecture on a subject you are int...

that's a good idea...

 

[frogthroat]

I'm in a very similar situation. My T gives me new things to do each week and one of her suggestions is joining a class. It's not something I'm going to do for money reasons and also because there's not any interesting ones at the local community college. She then suggested doing a sewing class or a craft class at an art store near me but I'm not 80 years old. She wants me to go out around people and take a day trip to a museum or something. Again, money is needed for those things and it all sounds boring as hell. She suggested church too and that was a definite no.
It hurts to realize I'm totally alone at a really weak point and therapy I feel is an attempt to toughen me up. I have to go back to the gym tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm kind of conflicted about therapy or if it's even helping or not. I even stopped journaling because it doesn't really matter in the long run what happened specifically.
I guess I'm kind of pissed off but I think I'm supposed to be so I'll do more things? At the same time I'm not going to go out of my way to do something completely uninteresting to me just because I'm supposed to. I just feel much meaner then I was but at least I have a spine again. Still, it's like I'm an adult, I work, support myself and complete menial tasks. Why do you want me to do tedious crap? I can see why you're frustrated. I'm more unpleasant then I've been in a long time and I have zero patience for anyone because of the dumb things she's suggesting I do.

 

[Gs172003]

What about something like a pottery or glass blowing class? Not a whole lot of interaction but you learn a skill. Just a thought.

 

[EveHarrington]

Not all art classes are for 80 year olds...

The ones I took had a mix of ages. I took classes at non-chain art stores and museums. I live in a rural area, so places that are more urban probably have a lot more opportunities.

We have a local website that compiles a list of things to do and it’s even an entire section in our paper every Thursday. There is a TON of stuff. Maybe your area has something like this? It’s a good way to find free stuff to do.