Confusing therapy appointment

[azure]

You made a lot of sense and I believe that compassion, empathy and validation is extremely important f...

@Fionas74 yes...I want to run. sorry therapy has not worked for you..you have good insight..I feel like you heard and understand what I'm going through..and you are right it's an instinctual survival mechanisim that has developed due to all of that crappy trauma..our brains become wired differently from it..so thought processes are different

My therapist suggests to let the feelings come for 10 minutes or whatever length of time and then sc...

@Justmehere you think that's a good way of saying that to my T? I suck at confrontation...

so you do schedule "closet cleaning" time..I have no idea what will help me..I could try that.

 

[Justmehere]

It’s not confrontation to tell your therapist hey, that didn’t work for me, I need something different. All you are doing is giving her information. It can feel really intimidating to do the first time, but generally, most therapists find it helpful to know more about where their client is at and what helps and doesn’t help.

Try to see it as having a dialogue with her to help her get to know you more.

And yeah. I don’t usually schedule the start of the time, but I’ve known people who do. For me, when the feelings hit, it’s like I set a timer that I’m going to think about and feel those feelings for x amount of time and then do something else. It’s like my brain doesn’t pester me as much the rest of the day with it. It knows that there will be time and space for it. If it doesn’t work the first few times, don’t give up. All these kinds of ways of tolerating and coping with feelings are new to do, and take practice. And it doesn’t always feel good, but it’s like eating broccoli - over time, overall emotional health will improve.

Keep up the good work to try different things. I hope you find things that help soon.

 

[Suzetig]

I’m with @Justmehere, I don’t always know when something’s working on me but when the feelings are there I’ll find time to give in to it, to completely feel whatever it is but I’ll also plan something that I know I need to pull myself together for so that there’s a time limit.

Sometimes that means little and often, so maybe tearfulness a few times a day for 15/20 minutes or so but I remember a time when I was crying just about all the time, all day so as long as I’m not there again, I’m doing ok.

I’m also trying to learn to take time for anger or frustration in the same way - take myself off, scream and shout and then go back to what I was doing. It’s a very practiced skill to be able to put feelings away until I have time to feel them - and a strategy I used to my detriment for a long time (if I can put it away for an hour I can do that for a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade - it was messy when that came crashing down). I can now do it enough to get through whatever I need to.

Emotional regulation is a hugely important skill and one that initially feels impossible. This PTSD thing takes work to manage! You’re doing great even asking the questions.

 

[Still Standing]

This would definitely be a compromise, but it might be the ticket to get you interested in something and it would open up a way to communicate with like-minded people...regardless of age. Search though YouTube. They have a multitude of online classes or they have sites where you simply do some type of art form, photography, or many other hobbies to participate outside of a formal class. You can control the cost, if any, if you simply follow an artist or instructor you like who posts projects and show how you can do these at home. On these sites there is opportunity to communicate with the instructor and often, other followers. I have done this many times. It made me feel like I was part of something. It challenged me to make or do what is taught. And I am with Eve Harrington, there are hobby stores that offer classes and they are not all old people who participate. I know, because I have taught a few classes in that environment. But it they are all older than you, so what? Are you afraid they are senile and drooling at the edge of their mouths? I think that you will find many older folk have much to offer and are charming and wonderful people. They would bless you and you will bless them. But if age is an inhibitor for you, you may not want to read my post because I am working toward 70. I am an old lady, too. So far, I have had no one not come to my classes because I am much older than they. I have had teens to women who are way into their 80's and everyone was on equal ground and related to each as such. My suspicion is you are like me...fear of the unknown. I isolate, now, too. But I still try to keep myself occupied with art and crafts and certain type of studies on my own. It is so important to keep your mind focused on something pleasant, for yourself. My T had tried to get me to join a class, too. The class I chose truly stopped the day I called to sign up. I am now waiting for a new instructor to restart this class and when it opens again I will step out and join. Hard to think about and harder to commit to, but we need to do it for our own health improvement, don't we? It is part of the process of getting well. You can do this!

 

[azure]

This would definitely be a compromise, but it might be the ticket to get you interested in somet...

@Still Standing good ideas..youtube is great!! I am part of a year long art course..new class every week..so painting and fiber are my hobbies right now....and you are right age doesn't matter.