When will i become more functional?

[Happyplace76]

I used work as a distraction from both past and ongoing trauma and finally had to admit I was an addict....

@Freida That's what I did this past summer - worked myself like a dog in an extremely stressful job, found a new one in which I started the very next day which was managing a HUD property/complex during recerts and then my son was ran over and it's just been non stop since then. I think I'm feeling uncomfortable right now but I know that if I just jump right in again (I can't even take care of myself, normal adult functioning, etc...) it'll just be yet another cycle of failure. I just wish I had a magic wand, I could erase all of the last year, go back to my trusting, bubbly, joking self.

Functional, as in able to work, manage personal hygiene, keep house, not go crazy at the kids? That too...

As in able to work, manage personal hygiene, keep the house and yep not go crazy at my son and random innocent people.... lol thank you, that was extremely helpful. :)

That was me, I must have accidentally tapped the anonymous function.
Yeah those subsequent stresses...

Oh mumstheword.... I am so so sorry for all you've been through. I think one of the most important things I did was get the right therapists... they are saying that I was retraumatized by my original therapy center - they made it seem like it was no big deal and I just be able to snap out of the not being able to leave the house do the things that had to be done. I'm so glad I did that - even making those calls were hard because I just expected more of the same. Getting in to see my psychiatrist yesterday after not being able to since the car accident on the highway is a step too... He said I was in such a state of hyperarousal/nonfunctioning that it was back to klonopin... 3 times a day which seems a little crazy, but at this point if it makes me able to function, I don't care. God bless!!

 

[Happyplace76]

Little bits at a time. Often I don't notice the progress until I look back and think about where I was 6mos., a year......

That was incredibly helpful Sahron!!! I'm going to remember to remember that on the rough days. Thanks a lot!! :)

 

[Deleted member 8714]

@Happyplace76 , for me I'll always have problems functioning here and there since 1988.

My PTSD symptoms come back with a vengeance if there's a death to someone close to me, my beloved dog, or someone I know who used to be significant in my life, my mother. I've been told to expect to have this happen for the rest of my life. That my PTSD symptoms will return after these stressors.

I've been in therapy for 30 plus years.

As a child I witnessed many murders by my father who was a serial killer. So that's why death is such a huge trigger.

 

[mumstheword]

@Freida That's what I did this past summer - worked myself like a dog i...

Yeah, I agree with the "right therapists". Mine are awesome.
Yeah, that stuff I mentioned is only some recent difficulties, the last while has been a doozie of a time, but not causal, just ongoing crap. I'd sure like a break though, recovery is tough when bad shit just keeps on happening.

I'm sorry about your boy, that's terrible, how's he going now?

BTW thanks for your kindness and compassion :-), it helps a lot.:hug: hugs if accepted.

 

[Mach123]

Make haste slowly. A high tide floats all boats. I couldn't feel better till I felt a little better. Then you get a small success. Now you have something you can repeat and build on. I take big swings back and forth but overall the whole thing is up much higher now. I don't do much, but I can get by getting by at least right now. Right now is all there is. I heard someone say yesterday "the days are long but the years are short." I had to sort a bunch of family pictures this week. I have this question also but I ask it a little differently, will I ever become more functional?

 

[Happyplace76]

@Happyplace76 , for me I'll always have problems functioning here and there since...

Very sorry Congruency... I just left a psychopath and dont' even know all the atrocities that he committed but I suspect my trust of the world, people, etc... will be forever impacted. It makes sense that death is such a trigger for you. very sorry for what you had to witness. You are amazingly strong, amazingly strong.