Prozac - when am i gonna know for sure if it disagrees with me?

[Sweetleaf]

It's only my first day taking it. I'm only on 10mg but I'm also a poor metabolizer of it, genetically - which means less drug will equate to higher concentrations in my system than in normal metabolizers.

I really wasn't expecting to feel much of anything today, honestly. But instead, I am nauseous, nearly vomited a few times, and I just outright feel f*cking WEIRD mentally speaking - and I really don't like it. I don't know how to describe it. I also feel like I'm having visual afterimages (e.g. that afterimage sorta stuff you see after looking at a bright light) happen more easily than normal.

My anxiety feels higher - could be because of my massive triggering last night. Palms sweaty a lot. That isn't too unusual for me so it could be unrelated.

My behavior seems a bit off.

I don't like how I'm feeling though. Like for real.

I've been thinking all day, so far "holy shit I really don't wanna try taking that shit tomorrow, I really don't want to see this be any worse"

How long should I give it a shot though, before I decide "okay this drug does NOT agree with my body"? I feel like saying "nope" after one f*ckin' day is too soon, but what I'm feeling makes the idea of taking it again tomorrow, feel scary.

I don't like that the first dose has me feeling bad. I expected some side effects but didn't exactly expect day 1 to be like "I don't like it!" and feel afraid of what day 2 might hold.

I didn't even feel this put-off when I had my wellbutrin dose upped, which went spectacularly wrong. Totally different drug, but still. It took me like a week to go "WOW holy f*ck this wellbutrin is driving me insane with anxiety"

What do you do about SSRIs though? Is my first day reaction normal enough? Should I keep taking it? (I know that's more of a question for my doc)
If the first dose has me feeling like, scared of taking the next dose, is that a sign I shouldn't? Or should I give it a try anyway and see if I start feeling less weird?

 

[somerandomguy]

My very first SSRI was Zoloft. It made me physically ill for about a week, starting with my first dose. After that, I felt OK until I went off of it. Celexa made me very giddily happy at my very first dose and afterwards for about a week, then my mood evened out.

Unfortunately, the way antidepressants will react for you is VERY dependent on your own personal body chemistry. I'd give it at least a couple of weeks unless you feel absolutely horrible after a few days. Some ADs don't mix with certain people. And remember, nothing horrible will happen if you keep trying to take it for a few extra days.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I'd give it at least a couple of weeks unless you feel absolutely horrible after a few days.

My main problem is it's only been one day and I would describe how I feel as "horrible" although I know it could be worse from what I'm feeling now. I have never had a first-day reaction to any medication that made me feel like this bad, but this is also the first SSRI I've ever tried. Any worse will be "absolutely horrible" - this isn't as bad as the anxiety from increased wellbutrin, but it's not so far off honestly. I almost wanna cut my potential losses and try a different SSRI, one I'm not a poor metabolizer of. But then again what if this bad shit goes away and it winds up helping? I hate the gamble.

Anyway though.

I emailed my pdoc with my concerns (she said last appointment to email her if I had any questions/concerns in regards to meds since she checks it daily) and I'll see what she says.

First time I've ever emailed her or contacted her in any way outside of appointments, lol.

Aaaaagh. I hate f*ckin' around with meds :grumpy::sour:

 

[Sweetleaf]

OK, pdoc responded.
Made me feel better about the nausea - she said it's common but usually takes like 3-4 days to go away. So I am okay with tolerating this if the nausea doesn't get worse. If I am like constantly barfing tomorrow though, dunno bout that lol.

She said it's all up to me. If I stop using it now, it will be without having given it a proper chance to work. But there are other options if I don't want to continue with prozac.

I'm just worried about the mental effects at this point. I am definitely kinda agitated and didn't feel at all like I normally do outside, but also not in a good way. There has been some derealization but that isn't necessarily related at all. The anxiety might not be related to the drug either.

I really hate saying this bit but... honestly the way I'm feeling kinda reminds me of part of how I felt during, and for a little while after, the psychotic episode that occurred at the end of my trauma. Big emphasis on kinda. That's a big part of why I am disturbed/distressed by the way I'm feeling today, mentally speaking. There are no delusions or hallucinations, nothing crazy like that, it's just kinda reminding me of the energy I had during it. It's hard to explain what I mean. Thoughts are more racy and a little wandery, I'm feeling a little more rambley. Feeling more agitated. Walking outside, there was urgency to my movement, my walking, that isn't normally there. Uugh I feel like a f*ckin weirdo even talking about this shit.

It's not the same feeling though. Far from it. It's like a hint of that energy I had while psychotic. Going psychotic also took a lot - severe sleep deprivation and horrible things happening to me that I don't want to talk about. Weeks of that kinda shit - that's what it took. So it does seem sort of unreasonable to let some pills make me afraid of it again.

For all I know the shit I'm feeling now is harmless and I'll start feeling less wonky in the coming days. If I keep taking this drug I really hope that's the case. I'm probably not gonna decide for sure until tomorrow morning, but for now I am leaning towards taking it again tomorrow morning, as scary as that is to me, and seeing how it goes.

But yeah, I'm f*ckin' terrified that if I keep taking this drug it's going to make me go psychotic or some shit. Seems irrational to worry about but... ugh. I don't like this feeling.

I'm gonna see how I feel tonight, how I sleep, and how I feel when I wake up, if I do sleep. I don't think I'm gonna want to take this again if I can't make myself sleep tonight, though. We'll see how it goes.

 

[ILoveLife]

It's not irrational. If you already have propensity to react badly to SSRIs it is possible.
Just save a log of your symptoms and send it to pdoc after a week.

But. But you had a MASSIVE trigger. This could just stem from it.

 

[Sweetleaf]

But. But you had a MASSIVE trigger. This could just stem from it.

Yeah, you're right about that. That's what makes this so confusing. The prozac could have nothing to do with me feeling all f*cky right now - though I am certain the nausea was definitely related to taking it.

Aagh. I decided last night to start prozac this morning instead of waiting any longer just because of how shit I was feeling yesterday.

This is the only SSRI I've ever taken so I have no idea what to expect.
I know they can cause mania and psychosis in some people, I just really, really hope that's not the case for me.

Either way psychosis from it wouldn't exactly just pop up overnight. If I really feel like I'm going psychotic or people around me notice me acting like that again, I will be able to do something about it. It won't be the same as last time, if it does happen. Holy shit though I so f*cking hope that doesn't happen. Like, understatement of the year right there.

 

[ILoveLife]

Yep, it won't be the same situation for sure.

Do you have any way to make you feel safer right now?
Like, not talking weapons here, which can also be triggery, but companionship and a blanket?
Someone to help you watch out for symptoms?

I had a lot of times in these last few years where I thought I was having psychosis relapse but nothing happened.
I just kept everyone ultra informed of my thought processes lol I felt a bit looney doing it but it did help.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I had a lot of times in these last few years where I thought I was having psychosis relapse but nothing happened.
I just kept everyone ultra informed of my thought processes lol I felt a bit looney doing it but it did help.

That was actually really helpful to read, thank you.
Makes me feel better about my present worries lol. Also I have been kinda wanting to do the same thing to be honest, check my thought processes with other people, make sure that I am thinking rationally, logically, reasonably, not delusional, paranoid, etc.

My mom and sister are aware of my previous psychosis. I wish they never witnessed me like that, but at least they observed my behavior while I was psychotic, so they know what sort of shit to look for in how I act and talk, I guess.

I live with them, so they'll be around in the evenings and stuff, to see if my behavior is off.

Do you have any way to make you feel safer right now?
Like, not talking weapons here, which can also be triggery, but companionship and a blanket?

I have no shortage of comfy blankets, but ugh I wish I had an IRL friend to hang out with right now. I've been working on fixing that at least.

My mom and sister will at least be around part of the day to see if I'm having psychotic symptoms.

 

[ILoveLife]

Two exercises that might help with weird psychotic thoughts if they arrive, also helpful to other thoughts in ptsd:

One is imagining your mind as a train station and thoughts as trains. You don't need to catch the first train that passes by you, you can choose in which direction to go, what train to catch.

The other is imagining thoughts as clouds just passing through.

It helps stay calmer and more in control of our thoughts.

I'm glad your mom and sister are keeping you company.
If you need to talk, ill be around today.

 

[PiggyBack]

I can be a rough ride (been there). I'd recommend getting out a razor blade and chopping that pill up at least 4 ways and start at that dosage. Just ever so slowly ramp up. Prozac is known to be stimulating although it can be a godsend once you're on it. I remember back when it first came out that they would have prozac parties and everybody got their 1-drop dose in a dixie cup with their favorite beverage. They titrated up from there.

Some pdocs want you to check in for every change. Most didn't see to care that I titrated slower than told. I learned to just ask when I get prescribed something new, and most are okay with it. I remember one that said no and I found a new pdoc.

 

[Sweetleaf]

Thanks @Sietz

Last night I couldn't fall asleep until some point between 8 and 9 AM. Usually I'm asleep long before that.

I didn't take it today - but mainly because I want to hold it off and do this when I really have like 4 days set aside to be all nauseous and stuff, and maybe after I've settled a bit more from this present high anxiety, if I settle from it >.<

I had band practice today, which I forgot about until I woke up and saw them texting about which songs they wanted to mainly work on today. Then I was like "shiiiiit" and decided not to take prozac, since I really wanted to go and didn't want nausea stopping me. Also I need to go in and get an EKG done at some point this week, which I think I'm going to just do tomorrow. I could start the prozac again on Friday and at least be okay in regards to the nausea by monday or tuesday.

I feel better than yesterday, but I'm still like, super anxious, all sweaty palms and shakey and stuff.
I'm thinking it was probably the massive triggering causing all that anxiety and stuff. Maybe even the trouble sleeping, could totally be possible.
Uugh. I feel so stupidly anxious.
I felt better at band practice, that was good to go do.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm thinking it was probably the massive triggering causing all that anxiety and stuff. Maybe even the trouble sleeping, could totally be possible.

This is statistically more likely, than you having a psychosis response.

I didn't take it today - but mainly because I want to hold it off and do this when I really have like 4 days set aside to be all nauseous and stuff, and maybe after I've settled a bit more from this present high anxiety, if I settle from it >.<

Honestly, if you can stay the course, it's better. You're likely to experience that same batch of flu-like symptoms from temporarily discontinuing the drug.

I'm definitely not a fan of SSRIs, generally - but for some people they can provide just the right amount of support. The nausea, the anxiety - this is all very attributable to the medication, in a to-be-expected, adjustment period kind of way. It can take a full 7 days for those feelings to die down.

That being said, whatever you do, I'd encourage you to do it in consultation with your doctor. In my own, very not-a-doctor personal experience, trying to press 'pause' on the process and then pick it up again later will just extend the discomfort. Your body has already started building up to a steady-state level of concentration, but it will now begin to drop, and by Friday you'll essentially be starting all over again.

Just my own thoughts, feel free to use or discard.