Quitting smoking and weed is a huge deal. It is my thought that those of us who use these substances do so because they help us regulate our breathing - which affects state big time. When I quit smoking I regress to approximately a 10 year old state. That was the time I started smoking. Prior to smoking I used to drink vinegar straight up in order to get back into my body.
When I run it isn't so much about getting away from my daemons. It is more about getting away from a trigger like fireworks, or loud noises etc. Or, to stop screwing with people's lives. My last support person helped me with that. He offered to come with me each time I bolted. But then I am very concerned about the people who are supporting me so I would go back home with him just because I wouldn't want him to worry. So I don't suggest that this will work for others.
@Freida, it almost sounds like you were (although not truly) doing a dissociative amnesia gig without the amnesia part. Come to think of it, I am pretty sure I did that when I hit the road to BC. I think for me the travel part is where I really am zoned out. I don't worry about what is coming next, I feel like I am so detached by then that I could give a shit what happens to me, but that isn't an actual thought, it is more like a state of being. It is usually a state of hopelessness, looking back on it, but I can truly say that I can't acknowledge the hopelessness until long after the event has taken place.
I find it fascinating that there are 14K + people who have viewed this thread. Obviously this is a really relevant topic for supporters and maybe even sufferers as well. I hope somewhere along the line with enough dialog that we can sort out some sort of help for you supporters. It has to be a horrible feeling just being abandoned like that. I am so sorry....
When I run it isn't so much about getting away from my daemons. It is more about getting away from a trigger like fireworks, or loud noises etc. Or, to stop screwing with people's lives. My last support person helped me with that. He offered to come with me each time I bolted. But then I am very concerned about the people who are supporting me so I would go back home with him just because I wouldn't want him to worry. So I don't suggest that this will work for others.
@Freida, it almost sounds like you were (although not truly) doing a dissociative amnesia gig without the amnesia part. Come to think of it, I am pretty sure I did that when I hit the road to BC. I think for me the travel part is where I really am zoned out. I don't worry about what is coming next, I feel like I am so detached by then that I could give a shit what happens to me, but that isn't an actual thought, it is more like a state of being. It is usually a state of hopelessness, looking back on it, but I can truly say that I can't acknowledge the hopelessness until long after the event has taken place.
I find it fascinating that there are 14K + people who have viewed this thread. Obviously this is a really relevant topic for supporters and maybe even sufferers as well. I hope somewhere along the line with enough dialog that we can sort out some sort of help for you supporters. It has to be a horrible feeling just being abandoned like that. I am so sorry....
