Relationship New relationship- stress and isolation issues

[Leigh9297]

I have been seeing a man for about two months, we live about two hours apart, so we don’t get to see each other that often, everything has been great we were talking every day for the first month or so but then when things start getting stressful with work, he is a CEO and president of a company. He always explains to me details of what is happening, when I ask him how he is, I always get the reaction of being exhausted. Dates have been canceled, contact has been more spaced out. Just this week he was supposed to come to a concert with me and I got a message later that evening saying that he was overwhelmed with work and completely forgot. I haven’t heard from him since and it Sunday. I know he has PTSD because he mentioned it during the Fourth of July, but doesn’t use it as an excuse. So I’m curious to know to what extent does it affect him. He served in the Air Force doing special ops for seven years about 10 years ago. I don’t want to be ignorant but curious to know if the triggers still are strong. I’m trying to be supportive by giving him his space but I really want to reach out to him to see if he is OK.

 

[Justmehere]

Have you vetted him?

 

[EveHarrington]

Are you ok having a longish distance relationship? I ask as I had one, and never again....PTSD is hard enough to deal with when someone lives 25 minutes away!

My suggestion is to read posts here on the forum. Wander on over to the articles section And read those too. (Especially the PTSD stress cup article.)

 

[LuckiLee]

This kinda sounds fishy...

Most combat vets I know wouldn't share this so early in a "relationship". Tread lightly.

 

[LuckiLee]

I do have a question. How did you meet him?

 

[Leigh9297]

Have you vetted him?

A little bit nothing hardcore, he has shared a lot with me

 

[Leigh9297]

This kinda sounds fishy...

Most combat vets I know wouldn't share this so early in a "relationship"....

The only comment pertaining to PTSD was when i asked why he didnt like fireworks.

 

[Leigh9297]

I do have a question. How did you meet him?

On a dating app, we actually connected on it a year ago but never met because he was moving , but reconnected as he is back

 

[Leigh9297]

Are you ok having a longish distance relationship? I ask as I had one, and never again....PTSD is...

He travels to my city for work often and is wanting to buy a house here once the market alows down. He doesnt seem to feel like its an issue, I brought it up once and he responded saying it wasnt that far.

 

[EveHarrington]

Have you met him in person yet?

 

[Leigh9297]

yeah we met 2 months ago, I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, there was some effort made but both were cancelled and then this happening last week, completely forgetting he had plans. Im trying to figureout if work is so crazy its triggering or if he is just not into me anymore and is making excuses.

 

[Justmehere]

Wow. Dang.

Have you verifed what he is telling you with outside sources? This is especially important for online dating. The fact that he has shared so much is a little odd.

Let’s say it is true, it is possible he is isolating due to work stress. It’s also possible it’s PTSD. It’s akso possible it’s a million other things.

I don’t want to be ignorant but curious to know if the triggers still are strong. I’m trying to be supportive by giving him his space but I really want to reach out to him to see if he is OK.

It would be very reasonable to ask how PTSD affects him and his life. If someone I’m dating talks about any kind of health condition, I’ll ask how it impacts them. I’ve had dates ask me how PTSD affects me.

There are some real scammy guys out there who can talk a good story and then instead of letting someone get to know the real them more over time, they back away.

You have to be clear on what you want in the relationship and would like to know.

Most of all, it may not really even matter why. Seems like a guy who isn’t in a place to date or just isn’t into it.