General Husband has ptsd - army vet - help beyond counseling?

[Wife of Veteran]

We have been together for 5 years. 3 wonderful girls together. He is a wonderful man inside and out who has just been through hell in Iraq when he was in the Army. He’s a southern country boy so drinking comes easy to him even way before he joined the army. It runs on his side of the family. On the bad days, it’s like he blacks out? He becomes angry over the most petty things. I can look into his eyes and I don’t see my husband anymore. It’s like he’s someone else. It’s not bipolar or anything like that. I know it’s not. He just goes into what I like to call “army mode”. He has sought help from therapists in the past several times but it seems to only become worse when therapy is happening. Our family can’t take it! There has to be another form of help besides counseling?!?

 

[EveHarrington]

Well yeah, I suppose there are other forms of help, but really, counseling with the right kind of professional is a first line of attack, along with seeing a doc.

I see mucho minimization of his drinking. I don’t care if his family evolved in barrels of whiskey. Drinking is still bad for most of us who have ptsd as it’s a big downer.

And therapy is SUPPOSED to make things worse at first. It’s not like talking about the VERY worst things that happened to you is like a walk in the part through the daises.

Shit, I’m a decade into healing and therapy still makes things worse for me at times. Last week my therapist had to drive home the point about how my dad is a total dipshit for beating me as a kid and she knew the only way to get through to me was to ask me how I’d feel if my baby nephew was beaten. (I said I’d want to kill them.) So maybe you’ll get an idea of the scope of what we go through. I mean wouldn’t YOU be upset if someone told you to visualize your kids getting beaten? Wouldn’t that really really REALLY upset you? I know his is military trauma but I say this to you as a mom because I think maybe this comparison will drive home how hard therapy can be....just imagine it being 100x worse. My example was just the tip of the iceberg.

So yeah....encourage him to get back to therapy.

 

[Deleted member 47384]

First off, welcome! There are a few subforums here specifically aimed toward supporters of those with PTSD, so I'd recommend posting there to hear from folks in your situation. The social subforum is more for casual chatting, so you might not find the help you need here.

Like Eve said, therapy does tend to make things worse before they get better. Think of it like a broken bone that didn't set properly - sometimes you gotta break it again so it can heal correctly. Even with the best therapists, medications, and support system available, recovery doesn't happen in a straight line. There will be ups and downs the whole way through.

I wish there was something better than counseling, but healing is a painful process. The right kind of therapy is his best bet.
Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[Freida]

but it seems to only become worse when therapy is happening.

Yep. Things get way worse before they get better. @Dazeys description of the broken bone is exactly right. He has to stop drinking and commit to the counseling, and that is going to be a long hard fight -- for him. Not you. Him. Because chances are high he won't get better unless he gets the help he needs. Sometimes it takes bouncing around before you can find a therapist that you click with -- that's pretty normal
But he has to want to put in the work. And that sucks

I'm so sorry this is happening to you....

 

[Never_falter2]

Hi, there is some forms of therapy besides counseling. Such as EMDR, my vet tries do-it-yourself watertherapy and he says it helps him. Has he try medication (he will not be allowed to drink on medication because it can be deadly). Quitting drinking cold turkey can also be deadly too by the way... if he is used to drinking much for a long time.
There is things he can do besides therapy, he may find sports useful, a more healthful diet (Yep, I know, I know *lol* from everyone who reads what I write about my vets diet but I know many who say it helps), going out more in the sunlight, supplementing fish oil.
Talking to other vets, or joining a vet club has helped many vets.

 

[Sweetpea76]

EMDR is really intense. It's a type of therapy, and they're digging up trauma during these sessions too.

There is no PTSD pill, but some medications can help relieve some of the symptoms in some people. It's not going to fix the problem though.

He can do all kinds of stuff to relieve stress, and he can practice all kinds of self care, but it's not going to fix the problem. It's like rubbing IcyHot on your arthritis. May help for a minute, but the arthritis is still there.

You can't stuff a lid down on all this. It's not going to go away, especially if he is self medicating with alcohol. If he wants to improve he needs therapy.

 

[Never_falter2]

But I do think EMDR and CBT are the two first line treatments for ptsd aren‘t they?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Yes, but EMDR still uses some "talk therapy". Her husband doesn't want to see a therapist.

 

[Justme5721]

When i went to see attorney the other day he was telling me the VA is now trying out a drug just for PTSD that is supposed to block the trauma. Hopefully it's successful.

 

[Never_falter2]

Do you remember what this medication is called?

 

[EveHarrington]

When i went to see attorney the other day he was telling me the VA is now trying out a drug just for PTSD that is supposed to block the trauma. Hopefully it's successful.

Blocking the trauma is a pretty simple way to look at it and illustrates the ignorance many people have of the disorder.

Many of us have quite damaged nervous systems. Blocking the trauma isn’t going to fix the problem.

 

[Justme5721]

Do you remember what this medication is called?

No but can find out soon