Are you able to say "f*ck you" to someone when you feel it is justified?

[EveHarrington]

Poor wet dogs about to be victimized. :(

 

[joeylittle]

If you feel something is wrong.. Try and speak up

I think there are steps between “that’s wrong” and “f*ck you”. I think, if you believe something is wrong, you can say “that’s wrong”.

Saying “f*ck you” isn’t the only way to speak up. There are more words to choose from.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't usually say it to anyone except in my mind. Out loud I'm assertive but I don't buy into uncontrolled anger. I usually use mindfulness to respond in a way that doesn't allow the other person to set me off. I had a friend that constantly would try to get me into nasty arguments, and I would respond with calm statements. She would get more angry and abusive and I would tell her I would talk to her when she calmed down. I ended up with no contact, since she wanted to blow off all her anger at me, and I didn't want to participate.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Ain't you clever

 

[IamFree]

its a way i have often gone in the past but its a way i try not to go anymore..these days if there is a problem in a relationship i would much prefer to try and problem solve it. F@@k you can be a bit of a dead end and everyone goes away from it not feeling so great. i hate that feeling of stomping around with that unresolved anger in my system so poisonous for your self...another problem is is that no matter how right you are once thats been done the focus is not on how right you was it all about how much you lost it thats what people look at and remember....and the other way around if you have to face the fact further down the line that you was wrong (not saying you are just an example) then you feel a right clown.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I am clever. I don't lash out at people because they don't agree with me.

 

[IamFree]

I would just like to add that my family was destroyed by various incident of uncontrolled expressions of anger

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

That whole f*ck a wet dog thing is rather disturbing on many levels. Poor defenseless animals can't seem to catch a break in any arena.

I'm very able to say f*ck you if I feel the "need" to, but have finally learned that it's a major energy draining response that more often gives the offending party much more "satisfaction" than I ever genuinely got from it.

My body remembered much better than I did at the time about just how bad those words can hurt, especially the speaker/thinker of them, be it intentionally or not.

For example, I used to do the whole verbal road rage scene big time...I mean how much more justified can one feel when they are dodging such extreme safety hazards recklessly operating several thousand pound potential murder weapons?

But I'd get to my destination and would feel like I'd been run over by a mack truck or felt hungover/burnt out/fatigued/achy/etc.. I finally learned it was because I used up all my energy and was reaping what I'd sown for others by purposely wishing ill will upon another and cursing at folks who likely never heard me, nor gave a damn about what I had to say, and if they did realize I was pissed, they seemed quite pleased.

There was absolutely nothing going on internally or externally during those exchanges that was in any way beneficial for my well-being, but I didn't innerstand the concept of all of our cells listening to every thought and action at the time, so now I just yell, "You safety hazard!", and move along minding my own choices, as I also speak out loud the wish that everyone arrive to their destinations unharmed. That feels much more user friendly to my overall being.

Now, if it's a gunshot or loud unexpected sound or something that startles me and scares the shit out of me, I still speak it out loud as an automatic response. Not sure that'll ever go away.

 

[Lionheart]

I can say if it is warranted but I usually do it with a big grin on my face to further confuse them. Sometimes it angers them because they can't tell if I am serious of not, but I just laugh that much more and repeat myself.

This may well be a passive-aggressive response but I don't care...laughing it off is a stress reducing behavior in my book.

 

[FauxLiz]

I was brought up believing that profanity is never the answer. I have to this day nearly 50 yrs old never heard either of my parents use profanity in any situation. I don't have an issue with other people using it as long as it isn't in an educational or professional setting. Sometimes when I am alone and very very angry I will slip but not with the f word I personally just don't believe it is necessary for me to be able to express myself. Maybe it is part of the family indoctrination I experienced growing up as I am not permitted to lose my temper to that extreme but I just don't say it to anyone.

 

[Still Standing]

Nope, no can do. For me that statement is a useless filler that does nothing to enhance a conversation whether in anger or as a general conversational adjective. For me it is primarily an offensive word and phrase that hits the very core of myself...probably because I spent so many years stuck in a molestation situation. It is a violent and cruel curse to be throwing around. This is just how I see this phrase and how it affects me...I am not trying to preach or be a goody-two-shoes about it. I personally hate the phrase.

 

[IamFree]

I was brought up believing that profanity is never the answer. I have to this day nearly 50 yrs old never heard either of my parents use profanity in any situation. I don't have an issue with other people using it as long as it isn't in an educational or professional setting. Sometimes when I am alone and very very angry I will slip but not with the f word I personally just don't believe it is necessary for me to be able to express myself. Maybe it is part of the family indoctrination I experienced growing up as I am not permitted to lose my temper to that extreme but I just don't say it to anyone.

well that is the challenge not going to the other extreme of denying the anger is there its expressing it in a way that is not harmful to your self