What do you avoid in your daily life? What do you no longer avoid?

[ms spock]

What things do you avoid in daily life?

I avoid having a life. I avoid feeling. I avoid being around people. I avoid a lot of things. I am doing better with this, a lot better with this. I am more here at the moment. I am struggling to get moving though.

What do you avoid in your life?

What do you no longer avoid?

 

[Lionheart]

I tend to avoid conflict when I can, but even this has gotten better than it used to be. I no longer avoid going out in public or other social situations. I no longer avoid my feelings by living in my head.

 

[ms spock]

I did the hardest thing just now I read the David Burns' book and did the Burns Depression Test. I had been avoiding doing that for awhile.

 

[ms spock]

I no longer avoid going out in public or other social situations. I no longer avoid my feelings by living in my head.

That is great! :)

 

[sunshineandmoonshine]

It will make me feel better to say the things I no longer avoid.

The grocery store
People in military uniforms
People with certain accents
Crowds (at least I don't avoid them any more than I used to before the attack)

Dangit that's all I can think of :( I was sure I've made more progress than this...

 

[sprout]

I avoid having sex, expressing when I'm upset/bothered, talking to men, setting boundaries (less avoidance and more I just don't know how to on this one lol), seeing or talking to my family, crowds, + more I can't think of. I'm getting better and better every day at being more comfortable with these things in a healthy way though ?

 

[shimmerz]

What do you avoid in your life?

Self Care. Which for me has been the foundational piece in avoiding avoidance. It is impossible to avoid when practicing self care.

What do you no longer avoid?

Self Care.

 

[ms spock]

So I am trying not to avoid sitting with feelings. That is my goal at the moment.

 

[Friday]

Right at the moment ...read for the past several months, nearing a year if I’m brutally honest... connection.

It’s been one of those walking along the apex of a steeply pitched roof things. All of my centrifugal force needs to be pulled inward, and drawn in line, to manage it. Pull it in hard enough and I can run the line, but allow it to disperse / lose focus / cast outward/ distraction... and it’s all wobbles and sudden drops... losing all forward momentum as I struggle not to get pitched over the side.

It’s a balancing act that I’m not good at, at the moment. The closer something is, the more I want it, the more I have to push it out of my mind and focus on the roof, and pulling myself into my center.

I’ve backed away from breakdown, but not by much, and every little damn thing is pulling me off the roof.

The frustrating thing is that when I’m not this effing fragile... connection widens the apex, attaches a safety harness and anchor points; adds fastropes, ziplines, hardware; provides a team to run with & depend on... and is all good things. But when I’m working solo without a net? SMH. It’s hard going. A gentle breeze could knock me ass over teakettle, much less anything more substantial, like trust, comraderie, connection.

I still try, as I can, but it’s a tenuous thing at best.

 

[ms spock]

That is great awareness @Friday.

 

[ms spock]

I am avoiding a few things, but I am avoiding a lot less. I have changed the way the way that I eat. I have not only lost weight, but more importantly I have started to feel emotions, and I am learning how to manage them, bit by bit.

I am being present more with my partner, and feeling the feelings of connection that we have, and also not losing my life by getting involved in the dramas of other people.

 

[MyWillow]

@Friday your post resonates. I’ve been traveling overseas for work for 6 weeks. I’m kinda in survival mode I think. I can’t afford to feel. When I try to conjure up my past the brick wall is thicker and higher than usual. And the connection thing is interesting. I can connect with people on a superficial level when I travel - work meetings, conferences, industry shows, waiters, bar staff - because a few hours later I’m out of there. But I had a colleague (based here) who was tagging along for a few meetings/events and I just wanted her GONE.