really bad day with my mental health

[Skywatcher]

@yellow rose there are times that I go to do trauma work but my system is so jacked up, we spend the session on grounding, calming, resolving some stuff from the trauma work that set it all off. I do emdr, so part of stabilizing would be getting me out of wherever I got “stuck” in the last session. It would also involve bringing in resources that make me feel supported and cared for. Stabilizing is going to a session with the main goal of leaving functional, not stirring up more stuff.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you know coping, grounding, and self soothing skills?
Has your therapist taught you these things?

 

[hithere]

"Like earlier I got into a complete state, I felt like I was in a horrible trap and in darkness and I felt in the past a bit.

Hi @yellow rose from this sentence it sounds like you were experiencing emotional flashbacks and having a "back there" moment all day yesterday. How did your appointment go today? Did you go?

 

[yellow rose]

Even though I feel angry, I truly and profoundly love and accept myself.....

You know the drill. Me too. Used to be a very long time that I couldn't do EFT on myself because of the dark and twisted shit inside of me.

Biggest help to me during days like that now is to get up and move. Anywhere. Anyhow. I struggle with going outside as well. Can't walk outside (trauma issues). I know how super challenging it is. All of it.

Do you have any self care stuff that you do when you wake in the morning or for times that this is a problem?

Have you contacted your T to tell him/her that you are having a hard time after your last appt?

Self care kicks ass when I am in moods like this.

Hello

Hi @yellow rose from this sentence it sounds like you were experiencing emotional flashbacks and having a "back there" moment all day yesterday. How did your appointment go today? Did you go?

Hello. Yes it went ok today thanks
we did not work on any memories of certain traumas today
we just did some chair work with some of my parts
i have it online

@yellow rose there are times that I go to do trauma work but my system is so jacked up, we spend the session on grounding, calming, resolving some stuff from the trauma work that set it all off. I do emdr, so part of stabilizing would be getting me out of wherever I got “stuck” in the last session. It would also involve bringing in resources that make me feel supported and cared for. Stabilizing is going to a session with the main goal of leaving functional, not stirring up more stuff.

Aah I see thanks for clarifying that

I am so sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless today. You aren't alone @yellow rose . Please don't judge yourself, it's all about loving yourself right now. Could you treat yourself as if you were a friend or your younger self? Maybe some breathing, meditation or distraction? When I feel that way I tend to bed down and isolate. If you are doing that maybe go outside and count the different sounds...etc..smell grass, flowers...Sucking on a hard candy can be self-soothing because it imitates nursing as a child...

Please keep yourself safe.

Thankyou. Yes I do try and do these things sometimes.
I do judge myself sometimes I guess I find that hard sometimes not to
Thanks

 

[Skywatcher]

Hello

Hello. Yes it went ok today thanks
we did not work on any memories of certain traumas today
we just did some chair work with some of my parts
i have it online

Are you doing IFS therapy?

 

[yellow rose]

Even though I feel angry, I truly and profoundly love and accept myself.....

You know the drill. Me too. Used to be a very long time that I couldn't do EFT on myself because of the dark and twisted shit inside of me.

Biggest help to me during days like that now is to get up and move. Anywhere. Anyhow. I struggle with going outside as well. Can't walk outside (trauma issues). I know how super challenging it is. All of it.

Do you have any self care stuff that you do when you wake in the morning or for times that this is a problem?

Have you contacted your T to tell him/her that you are having a hard time after your last appt?

Self care kicks ass when I am in moods like this.

I am sorry that you also struggle to go outside
I did tell my therapist this morning that I have been having a very difficult time since the last session yeah.

Are you doing IFS therapy?

Hello . I am not aware what this is

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have any good pointers, but noticed that you said a lot that you forget to use your tools. Can you make yourself an emergency kit, sort of? A list of what to do if you're feeling really low, maybe some things that smell pretty, and a worry stone, and things to treat yourself nice, so you remember that you deserve to feel good? I hope you feel better soon.

Hello. Yes thankyou. I will think about this.
What sort of things can you put in a emergency kit?

 

[TTC18]

Hello. Yes thankyou. I will think about this.
What sort of things can you put in a emergency kit?

What do you think would help you get back to feeling OK when you're feeling down? I think it's probably different for everyone. I like stuff that smells pretty, so I'd probably put a bar of fancy soap in mine, just to hold and smell. A list of people who love me - or at least like me, haha. A photo or sketch that reminds me of a happy or funny memory. Stuff like that. I think I may actually do this, now that I think of it, lol. Like making a care package for myself.

 

[Surefoot]

Yellow Rose,
No one can see the darkness that we see inside of us. It is hard to see past that. It is difficult to have any quality of life with such a burden weighing us down. I remember being so lost inside and recognizing that those in our circle of contacts/friends likely can't understand or even conceive just how dark our world can be.

It is just I am tired of all these emotions and feelings coming up
Just felt like a mess today

I encourage you to take a stand against this unwelcomed pain/mess that you live with. How? Day by day see the good in yourself and build on that. We each have our own mountain to climb. It likely won't happen over night, but when you make the quality decision that you are not going to be the victim anymore, then you can take control and build upon that. It sucks to feel worthless, disconnected and unwanted but the truth is that each one of us can climb out. I personally believe that alot of my strength and healing came through forgiveness (both for me as I am not to blame for my disfunction and for the dipstick who raped me for two years). Many years ago, I confronted my abuser with a detailed letter. In it I explained just how they forever altered my life. I acknowledged that I can never know the person I could have been due to their violation of my life. I explained just how screwed up I was because of their actions. After they received the letter, this person was so disconnected and in denial that they called me and stated "We were just playing around" REALLY? He was 13 and I was 5?

The bottom line is keep working on reclaiming your life. It won't happen over night. It is a lengthy process of healing. If you do so, one day you will likely be able to look back and realize you are not bound by the darkness any more! You are not responsible for the ugliness, they are. You are worth it. Don't forget that! If I can help, feel free to PM me.

Blessings,
Surefoot