Family Reunion - help?

[Sideways]

How do you handle family or large gatherings?

“I’m not very well”. I play that line on repeat. It’s my reason to take time-out when I need, and to leave when I need. And it’s not entirely untrue;)

Even if I get someone probing for more information, I just say in a how-miserable-am-I sort of tone... “I’m just...not very well.” It never gets expanded upon.

Very very handy.

 

[Chris-duck]

When I was at my dads party a month or so ago, I picked up a job (Gave out drinks tokens), found a nice little corner with people I liked (My cousins in my case), and just made an effort to speak to someone different each time I went to the bar, which made me -appear- sociable cos everyone got a quick chat but it was very "Hey! yeah! doing good, what you been doing? okay, cool, best get these drinks though before people wonder where I am, ahah.. byeee" And everyone else was drinking so nobody really cared much what anyone else was doing.

I hope it goes okay for you though and you work out a way to navigate it that feels natural to you, when in doubt, go with that penguin poop thing, it'll keep you amused if nowt else :P

 

[Nessa7]

Some of my strategies involve the timeline of the party. If people will be eating soon after it starts, I'll go early and help set things up. You'll run into a lot of people as you're rushing around, but you'll have an excuse for not stopping to have a chat. It's a good option for towards the end of the party or if you notice that there's a mess somewhere. If there's a gap between when it starts and when people eat, I'll wait to show up until people will be getting food. Showing up when people are busy and not waiting around makes me feel better.

I also act a little more easily distracted than I actually am. I don't really mind if someone thinks I'm a little flighty.

 

[Abstract]

It sounds like you main concerns about going are:
Self confidence
Privacy/disclosure
Self conciousness
PTSD symptoms

So!
Self confidence - you are the only one to know but often coming out of the dark helps more with this than avoidance.
Privacy/disclosure - you are totally in charge with this. You dont owe anyone any explaination or info. You can collect a list of pat answers or just abruptly change the topic. To them usually works!
Self conciousness - again coming out of the dark. You are you and that is perfectly OK.
PTSD symptoms - skills, time limits, avoiding people you will find hard. Earplugs! ?

Whatever you decide - stay or go - is perfectly OK. Better you than me. ;)

 

[blackemerald1]

So, today I thought if I go to the reunion I really should try and do something good to my face lol - possibly nothing will help but I was willing to try and buy a shirt or something too. Make an effort you know!!?

So, I went to the shopping centre and the beauty shop had a special offer on quick facials so I thought ok why not. Got into the towel and about 5 minutes into it with all the goo on my face and I'm thinking this is strange but sort of ok.

Then this strange siren starts blaring from the ceiling.

I said to the beautician 'what do you reckon that its?" She said, "I don't know." Continues on....

Then the door is flung open and a bloke says "Evacuate!" "Evacuate!!" My beautician screams OMG and runs out.,

I go :wtf: pull my top on and walk out to the front where a few thousand people are all running for the exits. Bit like a large mob of cattle spooked. I think well I guess I should go too. So - left. Came home and wiped off all the gunk.

I swear that is the first facial I have had in 15 years.... is it an omen? No - I didn't get to the clothes shop. :sorry:

I still don't know why we had to evacuate. There were several fire-trucks and some rather handsome young fire-men with serious expressions on their faces. lol So maybe a fire?

Oh yeah I looked in the mirror after I washed the gunk off. I still look the same. :hilarious:

 

[Teasel]

Dramatic into to the world of facials! :D
Cant say I've ever known a facial to do anything other than bring me out in spots but people seem to like em.

I found a quick demo in the shop on how to properly apply foundation did wonders for how my skin looks.

Anyhow love the advice everyone has given here. Hope it goes well whichever you decide :)

 

[ILoveLife]

:roflmao:
That's the funniest thing I read all week. :hilarious:

What a movie scene!

Hey, that should be your story for the party. "Sooo, I was in this surreal movie scene..."

 

[blackemerald1]

I'm trying out the hairdresser tomorrow - my mind boggles - what can possibly go wrong?? lol

I don't want her to cut it or anything serious like that. Just wondering if she can make it look deliberately wild instead of randomly, neglectfully wild... maybe a few rollers?

But then I have to sleep on it all and that will flatten it out... so I might just get her to play with it. I like someone else brushing my hair now and then lol.... It only costs a few dollars because I am not getting anything done.

I mean nothing can be done. It's resolvable really. ...sigh.

On a brighter note. My youngest sister and her children may defy all the rules of good manners, common sense and physic's and attend. That should make for a worthwhile distraction. Three incredibly active, curious and unrelenting under 10 year olds lol... That will get a few of the pace-makers ticking over. I hope she does decide to go.

Still not making a decision...

 

[DharmaGirl]

You have to go and write a funny story about it! I'm so looking forward to your humor, that I would love to go with you! That would be a blast!

 

[Renestel]

I feel what you are going through, I have been avoiding family get togethers for years, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas because that requires me to fly and I'm still not great in very stressful, overcrowded places like an airport/plane. I tried every excuse in the book this year and my mom booked me a flight anyway. My family is very harsh about mentioning if you've gained even 5 pounds and they are pretty bad about shoving religion down my throat when I've made clear that's not my path I want. So I'm stressing over here badly as well, you are NOT alone!!
My advice-- something that helps me is bring something or even a few things that are your highest sensory go to's when you are getting triggered. Have them in your purse and go to the restroom whenever you need a break. I bring frankincense essential oil because for me it is a smell that immediately detaches and calms me. I've even brought a small stuffed animal when I was really bad just to touch its soft texture and take deep breaths. You take as many breaks as you need to. You are making a huge step if you go, and as you said this may be the last time you see some people.
I also agree with others that finding a "job" to do can be an awesome distraction. I love to cook and decorate so I volunteered to do those. Maybe check and see what the party will need and find something that is very calming to you?
Good Luck ?

 

[Friday]

I'm trying out the hairdresser tomorrow - my mind boggles - what can possibly go wrong?? lol

I originally got this in one of those email chains of the late 90s... so it’s been around awhile, and you may well have read a version of it, already. Even so? :sneaky: Always fun. “Next week I try hair color.” :hilarious:

Dead Link Removed

 

[Abstract]

I have an even better one than that but there is no longer an anonymous function. ??