Date with “Bi-curious” - should I go?

[Bry]

Hi there, I have a dating question I’d like some opinions on. I wasn’t sure which forum.

I’m LGBT but rarely use any label. Having said that, I could be easily determimed as gay since I’ve only dated the same sex for the past 6 years.

I have removed myself from abusive exes and a stalker and had a rough time lately, but I decided to try dating again recently, using online apps and chats, as I am not a big fan of any scene, and hardly go out anyway! I’m now talking with a “bi-curious” woman now who wants to “explore” and whilst I do like that honesty, it’s making me feel like some sort of experiment.

We are meeting very, very soon (tomorrow) unless I cancel. So, can anyone advise? I know everyone has to begin somewhere. There’s no giant spark, just general and very casual messages back and forth.

Should I just cancel? :/ I’m not looking for ONS’s or anything really. Just pushing myself to be social and with the maybe of dating. I’ve a horrific track record of ‘choosing’ people. She could be a man for all I know too, right? I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a mess for trying to be social! :/

 

[Ronin]

I would go and keep it casual, at worst you learn that particular person is not good for you, at best you will have a good time (plus having new experiences to the past.)

What things will be or will not be, I would leave out for later. Do not worry about it. Just the meeting in front of you, if you are going. It does not mean a relationship, is not necessarily a date even (if you do not want to think of it that way.)

 

[bellbird]

Just pushing myself to be social and with the maybe of datin

If this is your MO at the moment, then I echo @Ronin in saying go for it.

Even if they fully identified as bi, there could still be "what ifs".
Go with the mindset of fulfilling your goals of being social, with the possibility of dating.

We can tackle the next step when it comes.

 

[EveHarrington]

If you don’t want to go, don’t go.

By my way of thinking, even posting this is your way of saying you don’t want to go.

 

[Bry]

I don’t know how to get out of it. So much panic over something so small, I know. Thanks for replies.

 

[EveHarrington]

Just text and say you’re not up for meeting tomorrow.

 

[zombycat]

Do you like this person? My biggest concern with dating people who are 'whatever-curious' is that with most of the ones I've encountered, their focus is in gaining sexual experience in their area of curiosity, not necessarily in exploring a true relationship.

It doesn't seem like that's what you're wanting, though. If you want something deeper, you night want to spend some time getting to know this person and what they're after before investing yourself.

My honest suggestion is just that. Be honest. If you meet her, be up front about what you're going to find and that you're not looking for something meaningless.

 

[Bry]

Yes that is her focus, although she has been upfront and I quite admire that. I don’t think I even like her actually but probably wouldn’t really know unless we met. I’ll see later. Hoping she cancels first! :/

 

[Bry]

Ok I am going for a while. Pushing myself or I really will be hibernating forever.
Wish me luck! ??

 

[bellbird]

Good luck! You'll be super :hug:

 

[Bry]

I’ve made no huge effort just incase she concludes that’s she is definitely non-curious anymore, I’ll have an excuse...

Good luck! You'll be super :hug:

Literally about to go in now, 20 minutes late, but still going...?
Thanks! :)

 

[Bry]

It went great! ?

She was lovely, and made all the requests, in person, to meet again soon. Wow. Very confident. No red flags for my hypervigilance
to spot - all upfront honesty like the messages.
Still can’t believe I went out, let alone a date, riddled with confusion. But there you go: not all doom and gloom after all. Happy I left my comfort (?!) zone and fit in with society for a while - and managed!