Tips on regulation?

[Hopefulphoenix]

Hey,
Im going through a rough time of late as I have really upped my exposure levels. Today my kids alone are driving me up the wall!
Most days I either feel like crying or throwing things around in burning anger.
Its like trigger, recover, trigger , recover etc. I feel Soo much frustration and alot of why me?
At best I just feel alot of emotional pain and chaos inside.
What I want is tips on how can I regulate myself back to base level, where I just feel okay and relatively at peace? ? Have you guys learned any skills for this?

 

[frogthroat]

I know it's easy to get frustrated when you're learning to regulate and there's not a magical way of learning to do it faster or more efficiently other then practicing it on a daily basis. Medication can help you through it but it just takes work.
That being said, give yourself a break. I don't have kids or a spouse and I get overwhelmed frequently. I'm starting to be able to finally do what I want without emotions getting in the way so much but it's taken a year of therapy and I still have to go get on meds for awhile.
One thing my T taught me was to visualize whatever was distressing me and put it in a box for later. Sometimes it takes a few tries especially when something is really upsetting me. This is going to sound cliche but I've been exercising regularly and eating healthier and I've been able to catch my depressive episodes when they're starting and refocus those thoughts. Plus, it helps with sleep and I don't think I knew just how exhausted I really was until I slept good for an entire week. You can start to think you're going crazy when you're overtired.
Things will get better and you'll start to notice that you'll automatically be able to regulate without constantly prompting yourself.
Again, this after a year of therapy, a hospitalization after I made a suicidal gesture, nightmares, plenty of crying, and on and off binge drinking. You might feel like it's getting worse before it gets better for awhile. Rewiring the traumatized brain isn't an easy task but it's not impossible.

 

[Muttly]

Well, there are all sorts of lists around on coping skills. Different things work for different people. Some things that can help me:

Journaling/art
exercise
music
comedy (I watch youtube)
allowing myself to feel the emotions (it sucks but helps) - locking myself in a room and letting myself cry, scream into a pillow, etc
throwing ice (makes a great smashing sound)
I don't have kids but I have a houseful if special needs pets and sometimes, playing with them helps even if they were driving me crazy. It's like channeling the energy into something positive and they enjoy it and we go from irritating each other to having a good experience.

 

[EveHarrington]

I second the medication.

I know it doesn’t help right now, but in my experience it makes it possible to use the coping skills and have them work. In essence, it helps raise your threshold so that every. little. thing. isn’t setting you off.

 

[Mr Man]

Hi Hopefulphoenix,

@RuffledFeathers visualising putting it in a box sounds a great technique.

@Muttly I’ve been running off music, comedy and art also.

I find anything that lowers your general stress level helps: swimming, walking in the country, I have relaxation CD I listen too. Because you are more prone to trigger when stressed.

Out of interest, what medication is there for CPTSD ?

 

[frogthroat]

Out of interest, what medication is there for CPTSD ?

I don't want to hijack this thread and there's a forum section completely dedicated to medications and substances but I would suggest that you talk to your therapist and see what they recommend as far as meds go. Lots of people with PTSD/cPTSD take meds but different meds work for different people. I hope that helps.

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

I have tried lots of meds and am now on mood stabilzers as im BP too. That helps with sleep, which is gold worth and I do believe it helps me even out. But at the moment my PTSD cup is brimming a bit and I need skills that can give me mastery and change my brain structure.

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

@RuffledFeathers just wanted to say thank you so much for the hope. I start therapy again in less than a month so thatll help too. Ive gone from complete isolation to starting work in the city centre! I wanted this because its worked before. I have had periods of being skills girl, but after being out of therapy for so long its hard just need to get over this yucky peak and try and find ways to relax. ?

 

[frogthroat]

Ive gone from complete isolation to starting work in the city centre! I wanted this because its worked before. I have had periods of being skills girl, but after being out of therapy for so long its hard just need to get over this yucky peak and try and find ways to relax.

You can work and you take care of kids. You're doing much better than you're giving yourself credit for. You'll get over this hump and as you learn new skills the humps will become less distressing. Good luck to you.

 

[EveHarrington]

Out of interest, what medication is there for CPTSD ?

Antidipressants
Antipsychotics
Mood stabilizers
Anxiety meds

.....with many medications in each of these classes.

 

[Skywatcher]

I do a mood tracker ap called Daylio. Just marking my moods throughout the day helps me realize that that I’m handling some stuff better than I think. I also send the weekly review to my therapist sometimes. She suggested I write down tools I try and see if it brings me to a better place by the next check in. Tools I use include exercise, walking outside (she reminds me to do, at the very least, 10 minutes a day outside.). I drink calming herbal teas non stop throughout my day. That probably helps me the most. I have to have my alone time at the end of the day as well or I can’t function or sleep.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I do like to do slow breathing sometimes. I find that helpful. Also I have a lego that I use to ground myself.