Suicidal urges after positive experiences

[frogthroat]

Suicidal ideation is a coping mechanism that's effective in repeated traumatic situations you can't control. Unfortunately, as an adult it's completely destructive.
I think when good things happen it's a habit to prepare for the worst especially if you have prolonged trauma. Your brain is like "Nothing could ever possibly just be normal and fine time to get hopeless!" That way you're not gutted if something negative happens because you already expected something horrible to happen or for your happiness not to be really genuine. It's hard to get unstuck from that way of thinking especially if it's been your go to method of damage control.

 

[bellbird]

For me it is things went good so lets die on a good day. Being thankful to have a chance to control life and close the chapter on a good day.

Your brain is like "Nothing could ever possibly just be normal

Very very interesting thoughts.
Now that I think about these words, I can definitely see how these could have been subconscious ideas of mine back when happiness >>> SI.
Thank you.

 

[Keen]

Interesting insight, @shatter eyes , and I like what you said about it possibly being a conditioned response to avoid good experiences, that makes a lot of sense to me.

Your brain is like "Nothing could ever possibly just be normal and fine time to get hopeless!"

All I can say is YES. THIS.

 

[Starfire]

Was just sitting here wondering what was going on. It's been a good day. Things went smoothly, no anxiety. Celebrated St. Paddy's Day with friends. Really nice day. Suddenly want to do something self destructive. Thought was suppose to feel depressed for those desires to appear. This has happened before. Thanks for sharing thoughts on this.