Don’t maintain friendships

[TruthSeeker]

@blackemerald1 you are saying all the right things - value my long distance friendship, get exercise. Certainly my fybromyalgia adds to the physical challenge of feeling tired. I have medications and they are regularly adjusted - it’s the best it can be.
It’s a goal of mine to get back to doing yoga, but I haven’t been able to start. I am too focused on finding a job (quickly) and completing a graduate level course. I don’t have enough left for much else. Taking care of my kids is there too, of course.
It’s like I have limited reserves and need to ration throughout the day.
Thank you for your support.

Sounds like w job hunting a primary focus, you are operating in survival mode. That’s a draining place to be. Good luck in your search!

No, @Wilbur, it's not easy for me. It takes a lot to even come here every day, when I have many people I really care for, and would like to keep up with more. Part of it is homesteading and being tired and in pain, and part is that it seems overwhelming sometimes to keep up with the minimal amount required to have friendships.

Two years ago, all I could do was send people I cared about a card that had my name in it with one sentence. I shopped on Amazon and they sent me some cards. I lived in one room in my house-and didn’t have the energy to do anything. Grocery shopping and therapy- my outings. I did all other communication by email or mail. I stayed in bed, terrified- fear, hyperviligence, all drained me.

It was then I made the one rule. One bath a week, one meal a day, one communication a day w someone, and I increased my load and functional behaviors as I got stronger. I had lived in my bedroom for years-and NC w family took me to a new, constantly fearful and totally drained level of sheer existence.

I found a card took 2 min to prepare- I wrote just a couple of sentences at first, and didn’t even climb out of the car to put in box. I did not mean to be dismissive of your challenge. Yes, struggling every day is horrible.

At first, a card might take two weeks to physically make it in the mailbox, but I was trying to make it so I wasn’t cut off from those people who really cared. In comparison to a 3 hr drive to your loved one, a card or some communication technology might be easier. That’s all I meant. Hope you are feeling better soon.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm sorry, I wasn't challenging you, I meant it in a sad way, that for me it isn't easy. I do email my mom often, though. I don't do snail mail at all, except when I order fertilized eggs. I am really pushing myself to get out more, but I'm naturally an introvert so I enjoy looking up things and reading and gardening.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I'm sorry, I wasn't challenging you, I meant it in a sad way, that for me it isn't easy. I do email my mom often, though. I don't do snail mail at all, except when I order fertilized eggs. I am really pushing myself to get out more, but I'm naturally an introvert so I enjoy looking up things and reading and gardening.

i Didn’t feel like getting out till I felt safe and had more energy. Keep up the forward momentum!?

 

[HealingInProcess]

Glad to hear I'm not alone. These forums are very helpful for me for interaction.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm glad @HealingInProcess, it is so hard to feel you are alone. I've struggle with this for so long it seems. I'm going to a women's group on Sunday, wish me luck. What I used to do is say - All I have to do is get dressed. Then, all I have to do is get in the car. Once in the car it made no sense not to drive so I would say I just have to drive there. Once there, it was easy to go inside. The hard part was getting in the car.

 

[willhealeventually]

I'm glad @HealingInProcess, it is so hard to feel you are alone. I've struggle with this for so long it seems. I'm going to a women's group on Sunday, wish me luck. What I used to do is say - All I have to do is get dressed. Then, all I have to do is get in the car. Once in the car it made no sense not to drive so I would say I just have to drive there. Once there, it was easy to go inside. The hard part was getting in the car.

Dear @DharmaGirl i wish you luck with the women’s group. I know what you mean about the self-talk - I do it too! One time I got out of the house too quickly and I looked like one of my cats that try to run out from time to time - they pause and start sniffing and looking around, like “now what?”
I am taking my last class for my masters this summer. I panicked about having to write an assignment this morning - took me 3 hours. Then, I was panicked about having to drive to class and was panicking the entire 35 min drive. I try breathing and grounding but it’s still hard. My body actually resists relaxing and wants to stay tense. I made it to class somehow but I feel like I’m neaseous....if I get a job (hopefully “when “), I wonder how I will be able to do it. I’m filling out online applications daily and they all ask if I have a disability. I say “no” because I know they won’t hire me with ptsd. The only option is to keep working on myself while I have this time at home...
I wish you well!

 

[HealingInProcess]

I'm glad @HealingInProcess, it is so hard to feel you are alone. I've struggle with this for so long it seems. I'm going to a women's group on Sunday, wish me luck. What I used to do is say - All I have to do is get dressed. Then, all I have to do is get in the car. Once in the car it made no sense not to drive so I would say I just have to drive there. Once there, it was easy to go inside. The hard part was getting in the car.

I wish you all the best at this women's group!