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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1. I am triggered by the phrase 'You got this'. How stupid is that. I mean, literally.
2. I think it's different with family/ SO's/ children. Widely different motivator, no comparison, really.
3. @berlinda it wasn't poetic, it was literal. And the feeling at the door is the same as when I feel I should leave anywhere, or Should I leave?
4. Like the daisies I didn't plant that popped up in one garden.
5. They said avoidants learn self-soothing. I just thought of it as escape?
-
6. I tried Socratic questioning but only ended up with Idk. So I guess they were the wrong questions?
 
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... at least some of them, the early ones, were not really asking for that suffering. They had it imposed on them by persecuting governments.

The later ones? Used that example to boost morale of people who knew they would be hurt for their stances, too. So, again, not something they would choose if the outside conditions & restrictions were not what they were.

What Jesus did is said to be *exception*, aka the self sacrifice is not meant to be the rule.
The life in his example, is what is to be followed.
Life, not death.

If encountered with something asking suffering/sacrifice of you, still check the agenda.
Just because it is historical agenda and bollocks entrenched in faith does not make it an agenda less.

I am in agreement in that I think there is a knee jerk reaction where someone is suffering and people just day well now you're closer to Jesus. I mean in a sense this is true but Jesus suffered for sins and if I have cancer what does that have to do with me being Christian? Was the cancer persecution for being a Christian?

I believe God is with us in our suffering and my faith is the reason I'm still here but not every suffering can be understood.

Persecutions happen for all types of reasons that have nothing to do with religion but everything can fall under thr penumbra of good vs. evil.

I suck at evaluating a person's character especially those I "think" I know.
Have to learn to handle betrayal as it is becoming a very common picture in my life.
Vulnerability is bullshit.
Doing what I do best, turn inward and turn off the outside shit before the explosion happens.
Cull the crap from my life and move on and do it ALONE.

I think sometimes this is the way it is. For me its been my MO for most of my life. I have an encyclopedia-full of people who have betrayed my trust. You are not completely alone but there may be only one or two people you can completely trust (or like me none at all). I don't know if you believe in God but as a Christian I've found that God always provides me the resources I need.

Books are great because the author has no agenda, at least not in particular to you. And you can talk back like I do with notes in the margins!

Also this forum is helpful and I believe there are people that want to help here and want to be helped.

Okay give things
1. This Epstein sex trafficking trial is interesting. A lot of people want heads to roll but lets not forget the children who need support and resources. I hope and pray they get the help they need and their voices are heard.
2. When there's so much noise how do we know what is true?
3. Ask not what (insert here) can do for you but what you can do for (insert here).
4. The Virigin Mary cares more about me than my mother ever did.
5. My heavenly father cares more about me than my human father ever did.
 
1) Am I going to cut my hair or skip it?
2) When the f$(%*@( is my car going to be fixed
3) Do I just suck it up and take a part time job now?
4) I raised $150 for pet food bank. What an awesome belated birthday present
5) Oh crap, that reminds me. I need to do the bunny flyer
And once again, a bonus - Am I going to email my T again?
 
1. I think I'm trying to stuff too much in at once :(
2. I learned (about myself) that not all sources of info are accepted/ absorbed by me equally. Which is ok, because one part is trust, some part critical thinking (without trying); specifically trust.
3.As to #2, what does sink in is not difficult (to sink in)
4. Ugh. No words
5. Doesn't matter all what I can't believe or don't understand. My fault to not write it down etc (use left brain). Thankful for good parts.
6. But feel also unsure, somewhat inconsolable at heart level; discouraged. Bid Discouraged. Sad.
 
There is no one. There is nothing

All I want is to be held, without having to be or give anything

I am alone, always will be. I am f*cked

I want to be able be there for other women like me. Maybe this is the point
 
There is no one. There is nothing

All I want is to be held, without having to be or give anything

I am alone, always will be. I am f*cked

I want to be able be there for other women like me. Maybe this is the point

I am thinking about getting a body pillow so maybe that's an idea to provide some comfort. I also do a stretch where I hug my knees to my chest and gently rock back ans forth which you might like.
 
1. Forcing myself to wait for a phone call needed before 4:30 and as usual, un-returned.
2.'Insanity: the definition of doing the same thing and expecting a different result. And I would add- from the same people.
3. Wonder if they ever think, it actually leaves people feeling as worthless as their actions infer?
4. Chuck it (them) in the F it Bucket. :( To be expected. However, why do I give 2nd/ 3rd/ 4th chances? Fool. Or idiot. I suppose that's why my mom said on her deathbed 'actions mean Everything- words mean nothing' (her emphasis). I am stupid.
 
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Sleep. Why do I always say I'm gonna go to bed early and NEVER do? I'm like a little kid who thinks they'rer going to miss something.

Working way too much overtime. But still trying to have fun while working my dupa off. So far it's working.

Hot days and cool nights.

My niece's wedding shower is right around the corner. It's so exciting! ❤

A dog. We have to get a dog. What the hell are we waiting for? We saw the cutest Blue Heeler ( J's favorite) puppies over the weekend. I should have got the ladies number. She had 19 of them. ?
 

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