she has no concept of physical boundaries
i have a teenager, 10yr old boy and 8yr old girl. the kids mostly live with their mom at the moment but yeh.... i get this.
when they get into wrestle mode or just random jump on you cuz wth not mode.... if it's too much at the time i ask them
to stop and explain that it hurts my neck- i do have a neck injury so it is mostly true but i find my kiddos respond and stop climbing on me when i tell them
it hurts.
so maybe you can explain that it that way? even if you dont have a physical injury, you do have a mental one....
but yeh, kids are usually empathetic little monkeys and respond better/faster if explained as it 'hurts'
make sense?
kids are really triggering, hate to say, but pretty much at every age.
we (my ex-wife and i) have also explained to them that my brain is wired differently so sometimes i need to be alone, or im into my own thoughts so much that i cant pay attention to what they're doing.
for when they get hyper, loud, crazy i usually tell them if they can be quiet they can have their tech - or i give them
a quick chore to do like 'put away toys and you can watch a movie' - that way they're not just being rewarded for being nutso.
there are days when tv is all we do. it happens. its okay.
and then sometimes i can force myself to be in the moment with them- if there's no symptoms popping up i just try for super quality time.
their mom is also really good at taking over, like if we're doing family stuff and i just have to ditch out for whatever reason.
and if i do yell- ugh, that look on their face..... ?
i apologize, remind them that they aren't responsible for my emotions, it has nothing to do with them and that it was wrong of me to take it out on them by yelling..... i try to catch it before i yell and tell them i need a quick time out. i go outside or somewhere quiet and then when i come back i can address their stuff without losing it...
and we have designated quiet times.
i like coloring so we usually color together, or i'll read to them or we take turns and make up our own stories or sometimes i tell them they have to color or read on their own.
outside play. i give them a time limit for how long i will play with them before i have to do my own 'work' which might involve reading on here or working on therapy books etc- but its 'dad work time' and they can play where i can see them.
i also set up messy stuff outside- like science experiments, give them a ton of "chemicals" like baking soda, vinegar, food coloring, dish soap, water, flour, salt, sugar, etc etc and they have test tubes. they can spend hours playing scientist on their own, making giant messes like they love to do.
or ill set up an easel and buy canvases from the dollar store, oil paints, chalks- let em have at it.
they get to do those things as often so they're super special for the kids and usually take up a ton of their energy.
i've also found a few playgrounds nearby that are usually empty and take snacks and let em play while i sit and chill- im lucky here though because we live in the country, not a lot of ppl at certain playgrounds etc.
maybe you can find stuff like this. and always designate a quiet time for yourself- maybe that would be movie night with her dad kinda thing.... ?
oh- are there drop-in day camps in your area? somewhere you can take her for the day on those days where you're just not able to function enough for quality time? the days where you can predict your temper will be shorter or symptoms are more severe? those are good for the kids as well as your own sanity.
anyways- i hope some of that was useful.
