General Nearly healed, then, Bam! hospitalized

[Justmehere]

My family lives 3000 miles away, so I'm already lonely and sick to my stomach with worry about all this. I have been reading or listening to Bible passages for three days.

What happened was quite serious. Those who are lonely and isolated are at much greater risk for staying in relationships that include domestic violence. It’s not healthy for either of you right now to be super close. She needs some space to work on her healing and stabilization. You need to get safe. You can’t safety be together if it’s going to come to physical restraint and violence against each other.

What other supports do you have? Reading the Bible for comfort and praying is one good coping skill, but don’t isolate. Go connect with friends or even a faith community if that’s your thing... if you don’t have any supports, it’s time to work on building up those supports. Counseling may help you build up that system. The very best thing you can do to help her is to help find support for you.

 

[Grateful Greg]

What happened was quite serious. Those who are lonely and isolated are at much greater risk for staying in relationships that include domestic violence. It’s not healthy for either of you right now to be super close. She needs some space to work on her healing and stabilization. You need to get safe. You can’t safety be together if it’s going to come to physical restraint and violence against each other.

What other supports do you have? Reading the Bible for comfort and praying is one good coping skill, but don’t isolate. Go connect with friends or even a faith community if that’s your thing... if you don’t have any supports, it’s time to work on building up those supports. Counseling may help you build up that system. The very best thing you can do to help her is to help find support for you.

Thanks for your help. I'm doing chores and errands, and I intend on finding a therapist or group in the next few days. It's really hard to do anything though, my heart is shattered, I really love her and have a sinking feeling that it's probably over.

 

[Justmehere]

You have been through a lot over the years and you have worked so hard to get through it all. When a relationship starts to come undone, it can hurt so bad. My heart goes out to you. It does get better. This may end up being a very good thing for her to get more intensive help and for you to have some more time to work on you and how this has all impacted you.

 

[Grateful Greg]

You're not a demon. I hope that is why you're listening to bible passages. Someone/ Something of influence has filled her head with some demon thing. Put the bible down for a bit a be good to yourself. You aren't the monster. Zoloft worsens insomnia. She should have been given something for sleep but they will get this all figured out.

Sorry this happened. Sending good luck wishes. I know its hard to let go. She'll be okay eventually.

Thank you, I started crying when you said I am not a demon. I baptised myself, exorcized myself and doing all kinds of things spiritual. And no It's not my usual thing. It was scary. It really did seem supernatural, my gf has a masters in Catholic theology, my evil ex wife started texting me over and over an hour after gf walked out. Just too freaking creepy. The only way I feel safe is with Bible being read on YouTube. Her voice went from low man's growl to shrill infant like screaming. Ugh, still in shock. Blocked ex from phone.

You have been through a lot over the years and you have worked so hard to get through it all. When a relationship starts to come undone, it can hurt so bad. My heart goes out to you. It does get better. This may end up being a very good thing for her to get more intensive help and for you to have some more time to work on you and how this has all impacted you.

Thank you! That's what I'm trying to think. Through my tears though. First tears came just now, feeling others compassion.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I baptised myself, exorcized myself and doing all kinds of things spiritual. And no It's not my usual thing. It was scary. It really did seem supernatural, my gf has a masters in Catholic theology, my evil ex wife started texting me over and over an hour after gf walked out. Just too freaking creepy. The only way I feel safe is with Bible being read on YouTube. Her voice went from low man's growl to shrill infant like screaming.

Be careful not to take on your partner’s delusions. You know you aren’t a demon, that you are not possessed, and that you are not evil. You had no malice, and you know that she is mentally unwell right now. Don’t let what’s going on in her head become your reality. Don’t encourage it or validate it.

 

[Grateful Greg]

You have been through a lot over the years and you have worked so hard to get through it all. When a relationship starts to come undone, it can hurt so bad. My heart goes out to you. It does get better. This may end up being a very good thing for her to get more intensive help and for you to have some more time to work on you and how this has all impacted you.

T

Be careful not to take on your partner’s delusions. You know you aren’t a demon, that you are not possessed, and that you are not evil. You had no malice, and you know that she is mentally unwell right now. Don’t let what’s going on in her head become your reality. Don’t encourage it or validate it.

Yes, I'm calming down now. Been 4 days and the fear and weirdness are fading. I guess she has BPD along with her PTSD. I've been reading about it and I had know idea she was suffering so much. She totally hid it and I didn't understand the meaning behind the way she was behaving. That she needed extra love, compassion, etc. It felt like she hated me. Thanks for replying.

 

[Gs172003]

T

Yes, I'm calming down now. Been 4 days and the fear and weirdness are fading. I guess she has BPD along with her PTSD. I've been reading about it and I had know idea she was suffering so much. She totally hid it and I didn't understand the meaning behind the way she was behaving. That she needed extra love, compassion, etc. It felt like she hated me. Thanks for replying.

Was she diagnosed with bpd or are you guessing that?

 

[EveHarrington]

The truth is that she wasn’t “nearly healed”. Zoloft can be a powerful drug. It can render people completely numb, so perhaps this is why there was an absence of symptoms. Drugs don’t heal us, they just make our symptoms manageable. Sometimes I forget that without my meds, I’d be a lot more symptomatic.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thank you, I started crying when you said I am not a demon. I baptised myself, exorcized myself and doing all kinds of things spiritual. And no It's not my usual thing. I

Been there. Done that. Got the shirt. It wasn't a demon afterall!

It was scary. It really did seem supernatural, my gf has a masters in Catholic theology, my evil ex wife started texting me over and over an hour after gf walked out. Just too freaking creepy. The only way I feel safe is with Bible being read on YouTube. Her voice went from low man's growl to shrill infant like screaming.

I didn't understand the meaning behind the way she was behaving

Destablization can look all sorts of demon possesed. The person is destablized mentally so no rational thought can occur typically and they are running on pure emotion. Throw in disocciation, flashbacks, and some spiritual beliefs and poof, you have what looks like demon possesion if one is not trained or well educated on what they are looking at.

she has BPD along with her PTSD

I have PTSD and BPD. This actually explains it a lot more. BPD is emotions dialed at their highest. Anger becomes rage. Sadness because suicidal. Ect. A severely destablized BPDer can rage like they were demon possessed. When I would rage at my dad and/or step mom, my dad commonly said I was demon possessed or had a demon in me. If you add in the other stuff above but add in highest extreme of emotions possible (like rage) and yeah, looks a lot like demon possession but it's not.

Certian meds can make the destablization worse. And like @EveHarrington said, completely numb for a time before the destablization. It took me years to find the right med that will help to stablize my emotions, bringing them closer to normal. Not normal but closer to normal.

The meds themselves actually don't do it all. I actively work DBT (I have a workbook) when I start to destablize. Those skills are paramount to keeping me stable. DBT is the number one therapy for BPD.

If this diagnosis is new for her, give her time to work through DBT. It can take a great deal of time to start applying the techniques to your life and and learning how to.

 

[zero]

I'm terrified! I'm heartbroken, I feel helpless and I feel villified and judged. What is happening? Anyone else have this type of experience?

A hospital or group of docs will usually not be allowed to say if they are - or are NOT - seeing a person. It's against privacy regulations. Someone's own mother wouldn't be able to get any information either; I don't think the docs can confirm or deny - that kind of thing.

Sometimes, the hospital or docs may have a list of people with whom they can share information, but your friend would have to put you on the list. She may not be able to do that, right now.

In order to help her, they are going to take her at her word - they have to - in order to understand where she is coming from and how she is seeing things. Even if you're a caring person in her life, they need to find out how things are happening for her.

I have some thoughts on her behavior, based on what you were stating, here. I don't know if I'm really allowed to give my thoughts on this, as I'm not a doc, but I do have some ideas. The docs will be able to assess the situation. I believe they will be able to help. If she's speaking about demons, I don't think zoloft may be the right approach; it sounds like something else. Where zoloft may help w/obsessive thoughts, depression, and other things, it may not alleviate the symptoms she's having. Med tech these days are really improving. The docs can get darn specific with helping symptomatic crap! :)

 

[Grateful Greg]

Was she diagnosed with bpd or are you guessing that?

I was actually allowed to visit her tonight. She called and asked me to come, her only condition was that we don't talk about her. So we didn't and it went well. I was guessing at the diagnosis. She was diagnosed with PTSD, BP and emotional, uh, can't remember the word, but it's what I saw happening and that's why I was thinking BPD. She thinks she will get out Wednesday but I don't think so. I'm afraid she's going to have a big problem with that. At least she's safe and I am able to visit and advocate for her.

You have been through a lot over the years and you have worked so hard to get through it all. When a relationship starts to come undone, it can hurt so bad. My heart goes out to you. It does get better. This may end up being a very good thing for her to get more intensive help and for you to have some more time to work on you and how this has all impacted you.

It does look like it's going to get better and she is going to get the more intensive help we both wanted and after a few days I can see that I was getting pretty burned out, so I'm slowing down and relaxing. Thank you so much for caring.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm glad things are improving! Tread cautiously, for the sake of you both. You have both been through a lot. Staying in this based on the expectation she will improve isn't really very fair to either of you and may set you both up for a lot of resentment. She may not get better. This will probably be a long haul road to recovery and stability.

She thinks she will get out Wednesday but I don't think so. I'm afraid she's going to have a big problem with that. At least she's safe and I am able to visit and advocate for her.

What is the reason as to why you don't think she will be released on Wednesday? If she can convince them she is no longer an immediate danger to herself or others, and that she is not gravely disabled (able to feed and clothe herself - it's a very low bar), they will have to release her. They legally won't be able to keep her against her will. In many areas of the US there are massive shortages of inpatient beds and they will be eager to discharge her as soon as she is able to convince them she can keep herself and others safe. If the staff believes she has BPD, they may also believe it's in her best interest to discharge her as quickly as they can, as studies have been done that show very long hospitalizations don't help those with BPD.

Acute hospital stays are good for keeping someone alive, sometimes might help with a med change, but they rarely provide long term stability. She may need a robust outpatient care plan that she is willing to follow. She's in a very controlled environment right now with staff making sure she takes meds and etc. Keep in mind that plenty of people stuff problems just to get out quicker. It's not an enjoyable place to be. A good night in a hospital is totally different from what it takes to sustain outside of that environment.

I hope this is a really good change and that things continue to get better!