Upside Down Eagle
Diamond Member
Hi people!
In 2019 I hiked from the Netherlands to Spain, for a total of about 1739 miles (2800km). I learned quite a few things related to PTSD, so many that I would need to write a book and that I could not possibly fit in here.
I learned that the act of walking (away) literally creates distance between you and whatever patterns you might be or are holding on to. You might think that you take your baggage with you. And you do, but the thing is that your path is constantly changing, whereas with PTSD your path might constantly look the same. The actual, physical change of environment every single day upsets your standard thinking.
I learned that as the environment changed, I was able to let go of my thoughts much faster. You need to be prepared to deal with walking, with stones, which rains, with unexpected things, and so eventually you are not able to dwell, because you get yourself out of that habit. Then again I did walk with a tent (and not in albergues with beds), and I needed to find spots to sleep most nights, so this also adds to the unexpected.
I learned that whether I worry or not does not matter, because I will be provided for anyway, whether that´s by God, or by mere random chance. Before I left, I never thought that I could leave my bed and sleep anywhere else, but since I slept in caves, I had to ask people if I could camp on their land, I have been invited by complete strangers into their homes and to share a meal and pray together.
I learned that walking long distance creates awareness, mostly because you leave home thinking "there is no way I can do it" and then you make these small discoveries about yourself, bit by bit, and after a certain point you find yourself doing things you would never have expected, like asking people if you can camp out in their garden. When you come home, then you know yourself in a new light.
My point is I want to share a feeling of power and optimism with you. We think we are PTSD but PTSD only inhabits some regions in the brain and not others. We have this whole amount of grey matter that we are not using, specially when you have PTSD, and areas of the brain that are not trained become... untrained. So my message to you is you can get out of your PTSD brain but you can´t do that if you don´t move.
How? Pick something that you would really love to do, but are constantly telling yourself you can´t. Pick something that makes you feel enthusiastic and happy, or something other people did that really inspired you. Even if you are scared to death - if you are happy about it then that will give you the energy to step out that door despite the fear. Change is painful and change is difficult. Change in a way, is the death of a part of ourselves.
But it is a huge investment, and if you make huge investments (like overstepping your fear!) you get huge rewards. Small investments are not bad, but sometimes you need a huge investment to shake yourself up, to shake yourself loose, so you can breathe. You guys are the strongest out there, you survived the trauma and you survived PTSD, and you are capable of much more than you would have yourself believe.
Please, please shake up your brain!
Do the hula and shake it like Pumbaa!
Gwaihir
PS My trauma is child abuse, I had severe cPTSD for about 15 years.
In 2019 I hiked from the Netherlands to Spain, for a total of about 1739 miles (2800km). I learned quite a few things related to PTSD, so many that I would need to write a book and that I could not possibly fit in here.
I learned that the act of walking (away) literally creates distance between you and whatever patterns you might be or are holding on to. You might think that you take your baggage with you. And you do, but the thing is that your path is constantly changing, whereas with PTSD your path might constantly look the same. The actual, physical change of environment every single day upsets your standard thinking.
I learned that as the environment changed, I was able to let go of my thoughts much faster. You need to be prepared to deal with walking, with stones, which rains, with unexpected things, and so eventually you are not able to dwell, because you get yourself out of that habit. Then again I did walk with a tent (and not in albergues with beds), and I needed to find spots to sleep most nights, so this also adds to the unexpected.
I learned that whether I worry or not does not matter, because I will be provided for anyway, whether that´s by God, or by mere random chance. Before I left, I never thought that I could leave my bed and sleep anywhere else, but since I slept in caves, I had to ask people if I could camp on their land, I have been invited by complete strangers into their homes and to share a meal and pray together.
I learned that walking long distance creates awareness, mostly because you leave home thinking "there is no way I can do it" and then you make these small discoveries about yourself, bit by bit, and after a certain point you find yourself doing things you would never have expected, like asking people if you can camp out in their garden. When you come home, then you know yourself in a new light.
My point is I want to share a feeling of power and optimism with you. We think we are PTSD but PTSD only inhabits some regions in the brain and not others. We have this whole amount of grey matter that we are not using, specially when you have PTSD, and areas of the brain that are not trained become... untrained. So my message to you is you can get out of your PTSD brain but you can´t do that if you don´t move.
How? Pick something that you would really love to do, but are constantly telling yourself you can´t. Pick something that makes you feel enthusiastic and happy, or something other people did that really inspired you. Even if you are scared to death - if you are happy about it then that will give you the energy to step out that door despite the fear. Change is painful and change is difficult. Change in a way, is the death of a part of ourselves.
But it is a huge investment, and if you make huge investments (like overstepping your fear!) you get huge rewards. Small investments are not bad, but sometimes you need a huge investment to shake yourself up, to shake yourself loose, so you can breathe. You guys are the strongest out there, you survived the trauma and you survived PTSD, and you are capable of much more than you would have yourself believe.
Please, please shake up your brain!
Do the hula and shake it like Pumbaa!
Gwaihir
PS My trauma is child abuse, I had severe cPTSD for about 15 years.
