How Do You Define Emergency?

[Justmehere]

Immediate threat to life.

or limb.

Plus whatever plan myself and the provider agreed upon ahead of time. I try to ask - what are the yellow flag things that are a phone call to you? What are the red flags that are a ER visit or 911 call?

Even with that, I still fowl up. I’m not a medical or mental health professional, they are there to help as the professional, and it’s my job to try to follow whatever agreement we have made together as best I can. I also use humor as a debate mechanism... and if I notice a sudden uptick in that coping skill, I try to stop and check in with myself to see if there is something going on that’s on the list of yellow or red flags.

There is no perfect on this. Providers and patients will miss the mark at times. I try to be humble and curious about it. Like, “I dunno if this is a yellow flag or me being too jumpy....” or “I might be calling you late or too early, please feel free to re-direct.” I don’t think my providers need me to say this to them, but it’s more for myself. It’s me giving them the open door to help me learn better what they would like me to do. Then if I over shoot or undershoot, whatever. To be expected. Ok so I usually feel sick with guilt and shame if I overshoot and reach out too soon (working on letting that go because it doesn’t help), and annoyed wi5) others if they said I waited too long. If I undershoot and wait too long to reach out, I’m often thinking these “catch phrases” - “I can take care of me!” pride / “help scares me”/“uh you think THAT is bad? It’s nothing compared to...” So if I’m thinking those things, I try to hold it loosely.

I do think a lot “what can they do anyhow?” Sometimes, what they can do is better be able to help if shit hits the fan later, or, help make sure a yellow flag gets worked out before it becomes a red flag.

Mental health crisis lines can be so hit or miss. One cool option I’ve found if I don’t know or not sure is what’s called a “warm line.” If you good warm line or peer support lines, you might find one reachable to you. They generally can help re-direct to a hotline if needed and help me feel less like I’m risking jumping on a thing too early.

 

[Freida]

One more piece of intel:
Talked to my T about what constitutes an emergency. She said I had made all the right choices re calling the helpline and going for the GP appt.
And. She said that whenever I’m having strong self-destructive urges that I’m finding difficult to resist, it’s time to go straight to the ER / A+E. No GP, no phonecalls, just go there asap. I was like :rolleyes: and yeah, right, but she said she really meant it.

So, here’s to raising the bar.

:banghead:

So know we know that it takes .... your GP, your T, the hotline and all of us here to get ya to get ur little butt in gear and get help when you need it. Lucky for you that you have a bossy team o people that are vested in keeping you with us! :laugh: :hug:

 

[Freemartin]

Ahaha, @Freida , you do have a point right there. :rolleyes:
But.
Lemme just say: I did get help - yeah, it took a lot of work from a lot of people, but still, it’s not like it would be a walk in the park for everyone else here. (Meaning: you gotta admit a lot of people struggle with this theme too.)

Sooo, Imma give myself some big fat kudos. And thank y’all for helping me get my butt in gear. :D

 

[Freida]

(Meaning: you gotta admit a lot of people struggle with this theme too.)

I can't possibly imagine who you could be referring to......Not I she says defiantly :laugh: :laugh:

Sooo, Imma give myself some big fat kudos. A

Good!!!! You deserve them! I'll even throw in a unicorn or two!! ??

 

[Freemartin]

That’s the beauty of peer support: we all get to be truly helpful and amazing support to each other while wearing our hypocrite hats. :D ?

I’ll be happy to encourage you guys to reach out n’ stuff while totally ignoring the fact that it was a huge struggle for me. :D

 

[Freemartin]

If I undershoot and wait too long to reach out, I’m often thinking these “catch phrases” - “I can take care of me!” pride / “help scares me”/“uh you think THAT is bad? It’s nothing compared to...” So if I’m thinking those things, I try to hold it loosely.

Uh, one more of these growth opportunities.

These catch phrases are basically my second nature. And it’s really sobering to see them put in this ”bar too low” context. It’s not like I’m so amazing that I don’t need to get help when other people do. It’s more like these are some of the symptoms of my illness, these thoughts that I don’t need help. (Or deserve, more honestly put.) So, if I want to get better, the right direction is to see these catch phrases as symptoms and try to make real change in the opposite direction. And not to go on thinking I’m special because I can take more suffering than most without reaching out.

This is genuinely baffling.

 

[Ronin]

It’s not like I’m so amazing that I don’t need to get help when other people do.

:hilarious: Voila merde. There goes my favorite personal counter. Just so, so amused to see others doing the same line.

Although my fave phrasing of that is I'm awesome. Amazing I communicate different distress coping by.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

This thread is so incredibly helpful.....but I can't find the words to participate! :banghead:

 

[Freemartin]

Headbanging is a totally legit way of participating. :D

 

[Ronin]

This thread is so incredibly helpful.....but I can't find the words to participate! :banghead:

That is *even. better.*

Because you are processing. Taking it in. Taking things out of it. Applying own analyses & course correction. On a level that matters.

Makes me so.incredibly.happy for you. :D

// And ditto to words. Hence giving nods/likes when comprehended / or advice lined in, somewhere. Much more than an acknowledge of reading, or gratefulness for responses, altghough I am do those too.

 

[Sideways]

And not to go on thinking I’m special because I can take more suffering than most without reaching out.

You are special - but the amount of suffering you endure in silence isn't why.

You potentially can endure more suffering than the average Joe, because of what you've had to survive in the past.

It's the deserving it part that is distorted. You don't deserve the suffering - you deserve help.

But that's core belief stuff from your trauma that will change slowly over time. You won't start believing you deserve these things until you act like it might be true - like you might deserve support, understanding, help, empathy - and notice that sometimes, that is what you receive.

One of the reasons it's important to start asking for help. That's why the bar is too low when we don't ask for help - we're allowing ourselves to stay in that learned, trauma headspace of 'there is no help for me'.

Don't use this learning curve to beat yourself up. Because you are special. But not because of how long you can white-knuckle it:hug:

 

[TruthSeeker]

Emergency means different things to me for aspects of life:
1.Independence Emergency-anything that will limit or change my level of independence is an emergency.
2. I don't do "emergency" concept with mental health.....unless I'm being abused and have to call the police. I might get an extra appointment w T outpatient, but I don't check in the hospital ......unless of course it is physical in nature. There are no mental health hospital emergencies allowed in my world. You see.....I have a morbid fear of psychiatric facilities when I was a teenager, and was on the neuro floor, I had a spinal tap as part of a seizure disorder work up, and couldn't get up for 24 hrs......and they gave my room away to another kid on the pediatric ward during the procedure , and I awoke from anesthesia in a locked psych ward with a crazy lady who didn't talk as a roomie (I was 14-in an adult psych ward for a neurological problem-not mental health issue)......and the nurses didn't come and the strange lady didn't talk....all the while it is dark, I can't turn on the light, I gotta pee really bad, and no nurse was checking on me. So daylight comes, I get up and pee (a huge no no back then after a spinal tap), and start throwing up....I demanded to go home that morning or put me back in my room where I was-they wouldn't......and because I got up......I puked for 3 days straight.I suppose I value my independence, because with epilepsy, I have had my independence monitored and taken away. It is awful when someone else is in control of your independence. I won't give it away.....not willingly.
3. Financial emergency-like pay the bills (the important ones which will negatively impact my life-thank got for autopay! I don't have financial panic attacks like I used to when I never opened my bills. Bills are under control and up to date paid.
4. Purpose of Life emergencies-seem to be settling down and getting the purpose of my life in order (I lost it for a while and that was an awful place-after retirement with no life purpose-saw T outpatient more then). Yes, I recognize that that was the past, but locked doors, loss of independence, a real motivator to stay in control.
5. Bad Therapist Emergencies-I come here for those.....had a bad T and didn't know it for some time and now, I think feel more fractured than before-arg. Got a new one....she's good. But being without a therapist....now that would be an emergency at least right now!