Ignoring works some times but is usually not highly effective in stopping looping/intrusions for me. If it is the critic sending negative messages, I talk back and tell it to stop.....and give it good reasons is doesn't need to criticize.....Saying "No loudly" seems to stop the intrusisve thoughts or negative looping or clarify what the real issue is-very important.
Prep Work in Dealing with Insiders: I have had to do a lot of communication work over the past several years in dealing with insiders.
Knowing what concerns them, what motivates them, and what they find pleasure in doing......three very important things to know about my parts in being successful in working with them. It's like your own family, you know whose relatively happy and easy to get along with, whose the sour pus, who feels jaded, why they feel the way they do, and what they enjoy that helps to get them out of their funk. If you have a good handle on your insiders behavior, rationale, and motivations, you can use internal behavior modification in making your whole system work more cooperatively together. This takes active work.....and it can be a fun adventure.
So, I've come to believe that I can make sour lemons into lemonade....almost always, if I keep adding sugar and keep trying. Sugar is most often in the form of sensory stimuli (movement/kinesthetic-(dance video, line dancing, yoga-focused activity, an hour walk-till I'm good and worn out, aerobic exercise), food/cooking-making homemade pizza, then having food and a movie-a focused activity), tactile (like making clay animals, anything artsy that requires attention and feels good to do like visual arts-a focused activity like painting, drawing, nature photograohy, or an art class. I keep little Zen puzzles (50-75 pieces) which are highly focusing, or engage auditory senses with-loud favorite music on my Sonos speaker, or play my recorder-practicing, playing in a group of musicians, or even focused fun work. I made a list of all the different senses, and the different activities I could do to refocus from the negative to something that in the end, would make me feel much more positive......and stop the dwelling/internal negative rehearsal. I do not go do an activity that is not highly positive or engaging when I'm trying to change my thoughts...........I'll just fail.....as there would be no strong motivation behind it.
Step 1: Figuring out what is causing your sour lemons (intrusions):
However, if you can determine whether the negative looping is "safety related" or not, that can be a helpful in determining what direction to go in. If you are dealing with anything related to safety, in my case, the looping/negativity doesn't stop until I actively address the problem.
So, let's say my T wanted to do teletherapy, and I started getting awful intrusive messages "No T's allowed in this house." I know it is a safety issue. If it's strong enough-intrusive enough to derail my daily plans, I know it's not going away till I address it so taking time to deal with it will improve my day. I also know that I might wake up, with it looping in my head and that will just kill another day. So, I sit down, craft out an email about my dilemma to T, and hope T will find a workable solution for all of me that is concerned. Actively acknowledging their fear (whether is feels dumb or not), then actively doing something to reduce the fear, gains respect from parts, bides time and reduces the intrusions, and getting help may provide a workable solution I personally hadn't thought of..............but because I've acknowledge the issue and acted......the intrusive messages slow to a dull roar/or may even stop. If I choose not to act.....they just keep getting louder, longer, and more negative and can interfere with sleep.
Step 2. Flipping sour lemons (internal fears) into lemonade
After making a good faith attempt to acknowledge and act on the issue, ask inside what would make things better... I say aloud to all of myself, "Time to make lemonade!" a verbal cue for flipping what has been a negative situation, to a much more positive and fun situation..
Then, I usually generate a mental list and say them outloud or write them on a paper (movie and popcorn), cut the grass, music and painting, a long walk with the camera, etc. ) I usually get some kind of response back to do something positive that's on the list......and then I follow through with what I hear the loudest. It could be several things in a row that I will do that are positive (this is not the time to add laundry, clean the cat pan or toilet, or clean up a huge mess). Several things redirect my attention for a "block of time" and typically, this seems to really help change the thinking, and mood to be more positive.
If I try step 2 before doing step 1, I usually find myself dealing with the noise, ruminations, looping, at 3 am or the next morning like when I open my eyes. I hate that feeling.....so dealing with the problem sooner rather than later.....is how I handle it. Hope this helps!
